


Hunting for Daylight

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Class Issues, Eventual Smut, F/F, Falling In Love, Gay, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Puberty, Rating May Change, Shapeshifting, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-03-19 17:15:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 60,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3617823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>High School / Shapeshifter AU. </p><p>Dean is what you would call a late Bloomer. Late in his shift, and late in figuring out his sexuality. His body is showing signs of resolving the former and the new Boy at school that comes crashing into his life head on is intent on fixing the latter. </p><p>Or, Everyone turns into animals and Dean and Cas start falling in love in a cheesy coming-of-age sort of way. </p><p>(this is pretty au and I'm probably going to slip into Ooc every now and then so forgive me.)<br/>(P.S Mentions of Dean/Benny and Dean/Micheal)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. So You Think You Like Meat?

Dean yawned as he stretched his arms out behind his desk, sliding lazily forward. He hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. He had been up half the night trying to shift but nothing happened...again. It just wasn't fair. All those stupid sex ed classes had said he would shift sometime around his thirteenth birthday, but he was eighteen now and it still hadn't happened. 

The shift was this sort of magical thing that just was in his world. An individual would suddenly and inexplicably gain the ability to transform or ‘Shift’ into the body of one specific animal that is unique to each person. Scientists had tried again and again to explain it but so far the most a million-or-so tests had told them that was it happened during puberty, it was painless, and the shift was always connected to one’s personality. 

Dean sighed as he toed a piece of paper on the floor. He was incredibly bored, after all it was hard to pay attention in a course called ‘Your Shift and You,’ (a government mandated course) when he didn't even have one yet. 

The teacher, Mr. Fitzgerald - or Garth as he insisted on going by - was a tall lanky man with doctorate in child psychology and shift studies. In other words he knew all about helping melodramatic teens cope with their changing bodies. Dean would lie if anyone asked but he actually really liked the guy. Sure he was weird and his shift was just as lanky as he was, but he was kind and answered each student’s questions with enthusiasm. He was the kind of teacher who could make kids excited about learning. At least, he could do it for the kids who already had a shift. 

“Dean please pay attention, this is important,” Garth sighed as he stopped scribbling on the chalk board to address him. 

“Sorry Garth. What are we talking about?” Dean yawned again. He really hadn't slept at all. It was as if his body had been insisting a normal sleeping time was from 4am to 9pm. 

“We’re talking about the sea minority and their struggle for equally in a land-based world,” Garth had a frustrated tone to his voice as he said this. 

Dean didn't blame him though. His wife was a sea shift so the topic probably hit pretty close to home. There had been a lot of improvement in the Sea-rights movement this past century but there was still a long way to go. Sea-rights, that is to say, people that shifted into sea creatures such as fish, dolphins, sharks and the like, had been a hot-button issue in the class before when one of the girls came out as being a catfish.

It wasn't like there was anything wrong with a sea shift, but for centuries they had been treated inferior by land and air shifts alike. It was a struggle that Dean understood but could not empathize with. 

Not having a shift before puberty was good in a lot of ways. Children didn't look at each other and see the shift, they just saw other children. Dean was still like this in a way. Even though all his friends had their shift by now, he still didn't really see them for that. He hadn't experienced it and so he was left, drifting somewhat precariously on the sidelines of the social order until his body decided to do what it was supposed to do. 

Dean listened to most of Garth’s lecture but zoned out towards the end when he caught sight of a mouse outside on the open window-sill. It was just a regular mouse, not a person in shift. That was another thing that came with puberty. The bizarre sixth sense that allowed one to inherently tell the difference between animals and shifters.

The mouse was rather fat. It waddled across the sill in a rather lazy fashion, nibbling on who knows what in the cracks. Dean was slightly impressed that it managed to crawl up there. He watched it for a while with baited breath, completely quiet as the class ended and students shuffled into the hall. 

The mouse was still there. The murmur of student voices apparently not startling it in the slightest. Dean continued watching it. 

“Dean. You can leave now. Class is over. Or did you need something? I've noticed your focus has been becoming increasingly non-present as of late. Are you doing all right? Is everything okay at home?” Garth sort of swaggered out of his desk chair and sat down in the desk beside Dean. 

Dean just nodded, not really paying attention to what his weird teacher was saying, eyes still intently focused on the mouse, “Just hold on a sec.”

Dean got up from his seat and walked slowly towards the window, careful not to scare the mouse that still dug in the cracks of the window. He got merely a foot away from it when BAM!!! He struck his hand out and grabbed the mouse in his palm, twisting it’s neck between his forefinger and thumb with a small crack.

Dean didn't really notice the high-pitched whine that came from his throat as he shoved the dead mouse into his pocket.

Garth made a small humming noise as Dean looked down at his hands in shock, “Oh my god! What the hell did I just do that for?” 

Garth chuckled from his seat, “I suspect you’ll be getting your shift soon Dean.” 

Dean quirked a brow, “How does me killing a mouse have anything to do with my shift? And how do you know I haven’t shifted yet? It’s not like I go around publicizing it to the teachers.”

“Dean calm yourself and sit down. I’ll answer any questions you have,” Garth smiled a big toothy grin. 

Dean sighed but returned to the desk, “Okay explain then.” 

Garth nodded, “Most children experience a series of behavioral events in the few weeks before their change as you might know.” 

Dean nodded, he vaguely remembered that being taught in school, but since it had been so long ago he doesn't really remember much of it.

“Unlike the physical changes that our human puberty affects, the shift is very much a mental change in the beginning. That is to say, we slowly start to exhibit traits of our animal shift. In my case I developed a bit of an off-kilter attitude. I didn't let anyone but my mother and sister touch me for nearly a week. Regular Caravan Hounds are rather unfriendly with strangers you see.” Garth smiled.

Dean scoffed, “Hard to imagine.” 

Garth smiled, “I know. I was shocked as well when I shifted. My sister always thought I would wind up a giraffe.”

Dean laughed, “Okay, so I’m experiencing some sort of hunting instinct then?”

Garth nodded, “Most carnivorous shifts experience a hunting episode in their weeks before the first shift. Often only once but it may happen again.” 

Dean nodded, “So what, just wait for it to happen then?” 

Garth nodded, “Yes. It’s best not to force your shift mentally. Nature will do as nature intends. Take care Dean, next period is starting soon and I need to prepare.”

Dean sighed, “That’s it? No other advice? I thought you were the shift expert or something?”

Garth sighed but motioned for Dean to follow him as he got up and made his way to the book shelf behind his desk before pulling a blue paperback from the top shelf. 

“Here, this should help you. Bring it back when you’re ready. I have three copies at home,” Dean accepted the book with title ‘So You think you like meat? A carnivore’s guide to the shift and the restrictions of a herbivorous society.’ printed across the cover. 

Dean flipped it over once in his hands, “Thanks.”

Garth smiled, “It’s really informative. If you need anything else you can call the help-line in the back of the book or you can come back and talk to me. Have a good day Dean.” 

Garth pushed him towards the door and Dean stumbled under his surprising weight, “Wait you didn't tell me how you knew I had’t shifted!”

Garth growled in clear frustration, “You wrote it on the ‘Get to Know Me’ page at the beginning of the semester! Now get out of the classroom.” 

Dean whined as the door shut behind him. However when he realized the noise he made he gagged, “Uh, I hope that’s just going to be a one time thing.”


	2. Boykin in the Basement

The symptoms were getting more frequent in nature as the days went by and Dean tried to let the shift happen on it’s own but he could only take it for so long. He couldn't sleep at night and it was driving him crazy. Not that he had ever been an impeccable example of good sleep hygiene, but really. 

He stalked around his room in the basement, trying his best to force something from his mind. The shift was supposed to be mentally triggered after the first time so maybe he could trigger it that way? 

“Come on!” He smacked his head against the wall in frustration. “This is just pathetic.” 

Dean sighed as he just stood there for a little bit. He really should try to sleep; being awake wasn't really conducive to ‘higher learning’ according to his dad, John Winchester.

He flopped back into bed, rubbing the heels of his palms over his eyes as if he could physically force himself to become sleepy. After a few minutes of lying there he heard the steady click-clacking of claws on the hard wood floor upstairs. He wondered who was up.

Everyone in his family was a dog-shift. It wasn't unheard of, most family members share similar traits and so end up sharing similar or sometimes even identical shifts. There was a big debate constantly going on if the reason for family shifts was a thing of nature or of nurture. Dean personally didn't pay much attention to it. 

After a minute or so he heard the dog flap on the basement door swing open and sat up to see the little Boykin Spaniel trot down the stairs, it’s ears flopping around it’s head like the mop of hair that Sam sported as a human. 

“Hey Sammy. Did I wake you up?” Dean smiled as his brother hopped up on the bed and with a crack of bones and the re-merging of flesh turned back into a thirteen year old boy. He rolled his shoulders and cracked the last few bones back into place, his shirt shifting under his skin. That was another thing that scientists were still trying to understand; how did the body dissolve and reassemble the particles of clothing when shifting? Dean didn't think about it much, just thanked the lord he didn't have to look at people’s junk when they shifted in the street. 

Sam yawned, “Yes. Stop banging around down here.” 

“Sorry,” Dean nodded.

“You were trying to force it again weren't you?” Sam raised his brow as Dean looked away.

“Look I don’t want to talk about feelings right now Sammy,” Dean groaned and flopped back on the bed.

Sam sighed and poked him in the stomach, “Fine, but you know you can right? It’s not like I’m going to judge you or anything. You just have to let the shift happen on it’s own. And if it doesn't then I’m sure there’s medicine or something you can take.”

Dean scowled, “Easy for you too say. You got your shift when you were twelve! With my luck you’ll end up taller than me too.” 

Sam laughed, “I don’t know about that. I’m still at least a foot shorter than you.” 

Dean groaned and laughed, “It’s happening isn't it? This is the day I become the inferior sibling! My age and stature will leave me!”

Sam snorted, “That’s right, bow down to the mightiest dog breed. The Boykin Spaniel conquers all.” 

Dean laughed, Boykin Spaniels were hunting dogs, but they were tiny, hardly a conquering breed, “We’ll see. I may end up a mountain lion or a tiger! I could totally kick your ass!” 

Sam laughed, “I doubt you’ll be any sort of feline Dean. You hate cats.” 

Dean held his hand over his heart in mock hurt, “You wound me Sammy. Cats are the loveliest creatures if you want to get stabbed in the back.” 

Sam snorted, “Yeah okay Dean. You should check your prejudice.” 

Dean frowned, “It’s just regular cats. I have no qualms against cat-shifts.” 

Sam nodded, “I know. You may be an ass but you’re not that much of an ass.” 

“Hey!” Dean protested. 

Sam grinned as he stretched out on the bed beside dean, “So what do you think you’ll be? Maybe you’ll be a dog like me.” 

Dean shrugged, “You didn't go through this kind of stuff though. You just became super snugly for like a week. You followed me around like a...well like a puppy.”

Sam hummed in thought, “So what can we conclude based on your symptoms then? You’re not sleeping at night, so nocturnal I’m thinking. You said you displayed hunting instincts, so carnivore, or at least omnivore. Anything else?”

Dean thought for a moment, “I hid the mouse.”

Sam quirked a brow, “You what?”

Dean whined, a little embarrassed, “The mouse I caught on the window-sill. I put it in my bag and then when I got home I hid it in a hole in the backyard. It wasn't until two days later when I dug it back up that I realized I did it.” 

Sam blinked, “Okay, so hoarding then. And let’s add that whining to the list cause you never did that before. Even Dad mentioned it was a little funny.” 

Dean whined again and slapped his hand over his mouth as if it betrayed him.

Sam laughed, “So what do we know of that’s carnivorous, hunts and hoards, and stays awake at night?” 

Dean grinned. “I’m a fucking DRAGON!” 

Sam laughed, “There’s no such thing as dragons you idiot.”

Dean frowned, “But dude, dragons are awesome!” 

Sam rolled his eyes, “Well you’re not a dragon. Why don’t you try Shift MD? You know, the website that tells you what your possible shift could be based off your symptoms?” 

Dean nodded, “Yeah, I could try it but you know that thing is almost always horribly inaccurate.”

Sam shrugged, “Worth a shot.” 

Dean rolled over to his night stand and grabbed his laptop, opening it up and going straight to Google. Sam yawned beside him and buried his face in the pillow. Dean smiled at his little brother.

“Why don’t you go back to bed? I’m going to be up till 4 am so there’s no point in you sticking around,” Dean ruffled his brother’s hair and he heard a little growl.

“Don’t touch my hair,” Sam’s voice was muffled by the pillow but Dean heard it anyway and laughed. 

“Right, my bad,” Dean shook his head. Sam was very sensitive about his hair. If he didn't keep it nice in human form when he shifted his fur looked like a matted mess. Something he learned the hard way when his mother had to groom him. In dog form he was basically as good as naked and no thirteen year old wanted their mom doing that for them, despite familial ties and the fact that certainly wasn't the first time Mary had bathed her children. It had helped that Mary’ shift was a golden retriever shift. She had plenty of experience in grooming so helping Sam was better than having to go to the groomer’s at such a young age. It was basically a spa for dog-shifts, but most didn't go until they were at least sixteen. 

Sam snuffled the pillow a little and curled up into the plain black bedding on Dean’s bed, “Can I sleep here?” 

Dean snorted, “No way you kick too much.”

Sam frowned, “Not as a dog.” 

Dean considered it for a minute before on conceding, “Fine. Just this once or I’m going to have to buy you a dog bed.” 

Sam stuck out his tongue and Dean could here his bones crack as he shifted. Dean had asked before if it was painful but Sam assured him it wasn't. ‘My first few were really bad but after that I barely felt a thing,’ 

It was over in seconds, a sort of blur to it that you couldn't really make out. Dean would have described Sam’s shift as a light, moving and twisting it’s shape to reform in another.  
Each person’s shift looked slightly different to the next. Some looked like smoke, others like sand or slime. It varied person to person. Scientists thought that perhaps the shift was the subconscious rearranging atoms; working like a form of cancer, detaching cells creating new ones in other places. Dean didn't really care how it happened. 

Sam yawned a little puppy yawn before circling on the pillow and flopping down for bed. Dean smiled and stroked his soft dog head before going back to his laptop. 

He typed ‘Shift MD’ into the Google search bar and clicked on the first link that popped up. He navigated the site to the check list of symptoms.

Hoarding; check. Hunting; check. He went through the symptoms and checked off all that applied before hitting the little send button in the bottom right-hand corner. 

After exactly three seconds of loading his results were on the page and he scoffed. 

A badger, a coyote, a hyena, or a tiger. Dean chuckled, “Hey apparently I could be a Tiger.” 

He smiled as he turned to look at Sam, but his brother was fast asleep. Probably dreaming about pissing on a fire hydrant. Dean chuckled at the thought, “Night Sammy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh what ever could it be? Ten brownie point to the person who guesses correctly! (If you came here from my tumblr odds are you already know.)


	3. Out in the Open

It was Monday morning and Dean was busying himself by doodling in the margins of his paper while Garth droned on about something or other. He was currently sketching a very poor representation of his brother’s shift. The ears were too long and the legs too short. He had given up on the muzzle and drawn a smiley face in it’s place. As he moved on to a new doodle of a Doberman, John’s shift, Benny tapped on his shoulder.

“What you drawing there, brother?” Benny smiled a big toothy grin and dean shrugged.

“Just random shit,” he really hoped his best friend wouldn't ask to see it. He was not proud of them in the slightest. 

Benny leaned over his shoulder anyway, getting into his space to look at the deformed Boykin. His chest rumbled against Dean’s back in a full body chuckle. “That’s something. Your little brother right?” 

Dean grumbled, “Yes.”

Benny slapped his shoulder, “It’s okay brother, I can’t draw either.”

“Benny, Dean; mouths shut,” Garth chided them. 

“Sorry Garth,” the two of them murmured, ashamed only for getting caught. 

Two minutes later Dean felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He casually slipped it into his lap and opened the new message from Benny. 

\- So Charlie told me she wanted to talk to us about something at lunch. She seemed pretty nervous.

Dean frowned. Charlie was like a little sister to him in a way. She was a year younger than him and Benny but the three of them were practically inseparable. Sam had once compared them to the three musketeers. 

\- Do you think she’s okay? Did she seem sick or something? 

Dean heard Benny’s phone buzz behind him and waited a minute till the next text landed in his inbox. 

-She didn't seem sick but she didn't seem okay either. Like she was mustering up courage or something.

Dean frowned.

-Well let’s hope whatever it is that it’s not too serious. I’m not prepared for her to say she has cancer or something. 

\- Me either. 

::::

Dean shifted uncomfortably in his usual seat in the cafeteria. Benny looked no less distressed as Charlie scratched her nails across the table, clearly psyching herself into confessing whatever it is she wanted to confess.

“It’s,” she paused, her eyes drifting to the table. This was not their Charlie. Sure she got nervous sometimes and a little flustered, but never to this state of absolute anxiety. 

Benny reached out his hand and placed it gently over hers. A comfort that he must of known she needed. She swallowed hard before gripping his hand tightly in return. Dean wished he had been more comfortable with physical comfort or he would have done it as well. 

“Guys. You know I love you right?” Charlie asked quietly, a smile on her face despite the worry in her eyes. 

Benny nodded, “Of course, Red.” 

Charlie grinned a little more at the nickname, “And I hope that you feel the same about me. No matter what I do right?”

Dean frowned, “Oh god how much bail money do you need? I don’t have a lot.” 

Charlie shook her head, “It’s nothing like that.” 

Benny squeezed her hand gently. “Then what?” 

Charlie took a deep breath, “I’m Gay.” 

Dean blinked, “That’s it?”

Charlie smacked his arm, “What do you mean ‘That’s it’? I've been stewing over this for weeks and all I get is ‘That’s it?’”

Dean shrugged, “It’s not like we would have disowned you or something stupid. You must have known that.” 

“Yeah Darlin. Lord knows I’m no gonna judge you for it. It would be a bit hypocritical don’t you think?” Benny gave her toothy grin that reminded dean of why his shift was a vampire bat. 

Dean nodded, “Yeah I mean- hold on what?”  
Benny shrugged his shoulders, “While we’re on the topic; I’m Pansexual.” 

Dean blinked, “What?” 

“It means he can be attracted to anyone regardless of gender expression,” Charlie smiled widely and squeezed Benny’s hand. There was a warmness to her smile that eased Dean instantly.

He clapped Benny on the shoulder, “Well okay then. Glad that’s all out then.” 

Benny chuckled, “You got anything you want to share, brother?” 

Dean laughed and shook his head, “No, last time I checked I was straight.” 

Charlie laughed, “Yes, you're Mr. Macho.” 

Dean huffed, “Of course I am! I go hunting, I take judo lessons. Super Macho.”

Benny smirked, “You also marathon Dr. Sexy MD. You even own replica cowboy boots.”

“And that one time you got so offended when you found out Aaron wasn't actually hitting on you,” Charlie offered up.

“Or when your aunt had her bachelorette party and you helped her book the male strippers,” Benny included. 

“Or how about-” Charlie was cut off of as Dean raised his hands. 

“Okay okay! So I’m not the most macho of the bunch but I’m pretty sure I’m straight,” Dean dismissed them as he went to dig into the pasta that had been getting cold as they talked. 

Charlie shrugged, “Well, pretty sure or not, I was hoping you guys would come with me to the school’s GSA this Friday. Now that I know you’re okay with it and everything.”

“That’s the Gay Straight Alliance right?” Benny asked as he began stuffing his own beef sandwich into his mouth. Being a carnivore shift Benny had to get most of his food from the cruelty-free meat stores that the government ran. Normally Vampire Bats drank blood in the wild but it was considered a taboo in human society; instead Benny ate his meat REALLY rare. When the entire world shifts it’s hard to think of eating animals unless you have too. Dean’s own family had been getting chicken from the government stores for years to balance out the canine diet. They still ate omnivorously, but meat was a main factor in their diet. Dean wasn't wholly surprised when he started eating more chicken then usual. 

Charlie nodded her head, “Yeah, they do all the positive initiatives in the school. Although I heard it’s more group support than anything. Kevin Tran, the guy from my AP Calculus said they basically just sit around and talk all lunch about issues in the community and the school. Sometimes they make rainbow bracelets.” 

Dean smiled, “Rainbow bracelets? Sign me up!” 

Charlie laughed, “You’re such a dork.” 

Benny clapped Charlie on the shoulder, “I’ll be there too. It’s good to have support. Have you told anyone else? Becky or Chuck?” 

Charlie shook her head, “ Becky will demand a shopping spree for pride merchandise and Chuck will probably stutter in embarrassment like he does in any social situation.” 

Dean laughed, “They are so weird. How did you even get adopted by them anyway?”

Charlie smiled and shrugged, “Luck of the draw I guess. They were old family friends and when my parents passed away in the car crash they stood up to the plate. It’s good though. I mean I’ll always miss my parents, but it’s been years. I had to move on.”

Dean nodded solemnly, “Well they love you. You should tell them.” 

Charlie nodded, “I’ll think about it.” 

::::

Dean sat in his room that night, still unable to sleep. He had ended up falling asleep in English class to the dismay and annoyance of his teacher Mr. Met. His real name was something weird like Metatron or something but apparently people kept calling him Megatron so he shortened it. He was going to have to consider asking his doctor to prescribe him nocturn to regulate his sleeping schedule. If he ended u being nocturnal, which was looking like the case, he would have to take the drug until he learned to control his shift instincts.

Dean tossed a rubber bouncy ball against the ceiling and caught it before it hit his face. He did this several times until he was bored with it and switched to mucking around on his laptop. He read a few articles on pansexuality just to find out more about it. He was surprised at how much backlash it received. He closed the tab and typed ‘lesbians’ into Google. 

Almost instantly a thread of porn sites flooded his page and Dean frowned. He re-typed ‘Lesbian Community’ and hit enter. This time a few local sites popped up with names of ‘dyke bars’ and pride festivals in Kansas city. There was also a generic Wikipedia entry that Dean only skimmed briefly. 

Eventually he came to the list of related links and saw a word he hadn't seen before; Transgender. Curious he clicked on it. There wasn't any pictures but Dean only wanted to read the first few sentences anyway: Transgender is the state of one's gender identity or gender expression not matching one's assigned sex.Transgender is independent of sexual orientation; transgender people may identify as heterosexual,homosexual, bisexual, etc; some may consider conventional sexual orientation labels inadequate or inapplicable to them. 

“Huh, so like Raphael,” Dean didn't know there had been a word for it. He knew that a boy in his year had started dressing like a girl and called himself Rachel now but he just thought he was gay. “Guess I should call him - I mean HER, Rachel.”Dean knew that Raphael - Rachel, went to the GSA and he really hoped he didn't offend her when he attended on Friday. 

He scrolled through other related links, Bisexual, Transsexual, Asexual, Gender Non-Conforming, Queer, Auto Sexual, Aromantic, etc etc. He had no idea there was anything other than Gay and Straight. It was a real eye-opener. 

He clicked on the link to Bisexual and glanced briefly at the description; Bisexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction or sexual behavior toward both males and females. 

“So what’s the difference between that and what Benny is?” Dean asked aloud to himself.

He read the next sentence; Bisexuality may also encompass romantic or sexual attraction to people of any gender identity or to a person irrespective of that person's biological sex or gender, which is sometimes termed pansexuality. That made sense. 

He spent the next hour reading through various Wikipedia pages and educating himself on the matter of gender and sexuality. By the time he had rolled through the exhaustive list it was three in the morning and he still wasn't tired. He began thinking about what Charlie and Benny had said about his ‘macho-ness’. 

He guessed he had never really given a thought to his own sexuality. Not a lot of kids came out in their town and it was only with sheer coincidence that Dean happened to go to one of the few schools in the district board with an actual GSA. He wondered for a minute about whether or not he found other guys attractive. 

Dean thought of Benny first, he was his best friend so it was understandable that his mind would instantly be drawn to him. Benny wasn't a bad looking guy. He was a bit taller than Dean and certainly a lot more bulky. He had broad shoulders that served him well on the football field. He wasn't a classic handsome but he was handsome. 

Dean let himself think about what it would be like to kiss Benny. He thought about what it might feel like if Benny clapped his hands on his shoulder like he always did, only this time leaning in. He blushed furiously. Okay, that was enough thinking for one night. 

He rolled over in his bed and tried to go to sleep, even though his heart was pounding a distracting rhythm against his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Castiel probably won't be making his appearance for another couple of chapters. Also excuse the lame chapter title; I couldn't think of anything better.


	4. Welcome to Stockholm, Dean Winchester

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I know this looks a lot like Denny right now and I'm not gonna lie it's going to go there for a little bit, but it will end up as Destiel. Right now I needed to give Dean an outlet to channel his sexual desires and the existential crisis I'm going to put him through so hopefully Benny can help him ease the burden until Cas comes along.

It was an odd bunch of people sitting in a circle before Dean as he, Charlie, and Benny were about to be inaugurated into the Lawrence River Collegiate GSA; formally known as Stockholm to it’s members. Once you were in, you’d love it too much to leave. 

“So, let’s get started then shall we?” Crowley began. He was sort of the unofficial head of the club. He had apparently started it in his freshman year according to Charlie, and now it was five years running.

“I’m Crowley, but if you didn't know that you must be living under a rock,” He had a smirk on his face that screamed of cockiness. A couple of the girls giggled. “Let’s start with introductions first shall we? Seeing as our little bank robbery is gaining new members. I’ll go first. My name is Crowley, I’m a savannah cat shift, and I’m pansexual. Left to right then?” 

The girl next to crowley smiled brightly, “Hi. My name is Gilda, I’m a swan shift, and I’m a lesbian.” 

The next person Dean knew; Aaron, the perpetual stoner who enjoyed riling Dean for laughs, “ Hey, I’m Aaron. I’m a tarsier monkey shift. Yes I know it’s ridiculous but that’s what it is. I’m gay, but some of you already knew that hey Dean?” Aaron winked at him and he would swear before god that he did not blush. 

The group chuckled and moved on. Next was Raphael, or Rachel now, Dean reminded himself, “Hello. My name is Rachel, I’m a martial eagle shift and a straight trans-female. Please address me with she/hers/her pronouns.” 

Dean watched the next boy shift around in his seat before realizing it was his turn. He didn't seem to be particularly interested in anything, “Lucifer. Lammergeier. Gay.”

“Um,” the boy beside him pursed his lips in thought, “I’m Balthazar, I know it’s long and weird but please refrain from calling me nicknames. I’m a barn owl and I’m a straight ally. Hard as that may be to wrap your heads around.” 

Crowley chuckled, “How long is it going to take to get you to come out?” 

Balthazar winked, “Nothing to out, love.” 

The boy sitting between him and Balthazar groaned, “God you two are so British it’s disgusting.” 

“I take offense to that. I’m Scottish,” Crowley frowned.

“Scotland is part of Britain you dumbass,” the boy threw back. 

“Boys! Can we get on with it?” Gilda interrupted. 

The guy shrugged. “Whatever. My name’s Gabriel, I’m a magpie, and I’m super duper straight with tiny intervals of gayness. That is to say bisexual.” 

He grinned salaciously at Dean as he turned to him, “You’re turn hot shot.” 

Dean drew a breath, “Um, I’m Dean. I’m um... I’m straight.” 

“What’s your shift?” Lucifer of all people asked. Apparently missing information warranted attention. 

Dean shifted in his chair, embarrassment washing over him like a tide. “I um... I don't have one yet,” he mumbled. 

“I’m sorry could you speak up a little bit?” Lucifer leaned forward in his chair, hand cupped to his ear. 

“I um, I don’t have one yet,” Dean said it a little bit louder this time and waited for the laughs that would follow. Nothing happened. 

He stared around as faces softened. Kevin Tran, who Charlie had introduced to them earlier smiled, “Don't worry Dean. This is a safe space. No one with judge you here; not about orientation, gender, shift, religion, race, or anything else for that matter.”

The rest of the group voiced their agreements and Dean let go of the anxiety he hadn't noticed piled up on his shoulders.

Benny and Charlie introduced themselves next, Charlie showing off her otter shift when Gilda expressed her fond appreciation for them. The only others left to go were Kevin, a girl named Anna, and another girl named Lisa. Kevin was a red panda, Anna was a Taita Falcon, and Lisa was a Lynx. Dean was happy to find out that both girls were straight.

Crowley clapped his hands when introductions were done, “Alright, now that that’s out of the way, who wants to make bracelets?”

::::

“Why only black and white?” Lisa had sat down beside Dean as he threaded his beads on the fishing line that was set out for the bracelets.

Benny chuckled beside him, “Cause it reminds him of his car I bet.” 

Dean frowned mockingly, “You got a problem with baby?” 

Benny lifted his hands in surrender, a pink, yellow, and blue bracelet dangling on his wrist, “Nah brother, just stating the truth.” 

Dean stuck out his tongue.

“What type of car do you drive?” Lisa asked politely. 

Dean straightened his back, a smile sliding into place, “It’s a 1967 Chevy Impala. My dad gave it to me when I got my license.” 

Lisa placed her hand on his shoulder as she grinned, “That’s so cool! I love old muscle cars. I've wanted a cherry-red Chevelle since I was eight.” 

Dean was practically beaming, “Really?”

She nodded, “Yeah. My mom used to drive me around town in her GTO before she passed away junior year.” 

Dean looked down at the hand still on his shoulder, “She sounds like a cool lady.” 

Lisa nodded wistfully, “She really was. It’s just me and my Dad now but we get on fine.”

They fell silent. A few minutes passed while the rest of the group chatted and made bracelets. Dean sighed as he tied his off and slipped it lazily on his wrist. It looked kinda tacky but it wasn’t bright rainbow like Charlie’s was. He supposed it was fine. 

He looked over at Lisa who had gone back to her bracelet and he swallowed his anxiety, “Hey Lisa?”

She turned to him with a smile, “Yeah?”

“I was wondering if you were free Saturday? You know, maybe see a movie or something?” he gestured at nothing with his hands while he said it.

Lisa’s face softened, “You're really cute Dean, but I already have a boyfriend. Sorry.” 

Dean could feel the blush creeping up his neck in embarrassment. Of course she'd have a boyfriend, “Oh. Cool. No worries than. Friends?” 

Lisa smiled, “Friends.” 

::::

“Sorry Brother. Can't always catch the fish you want,” Benny slapped him on the shoulder as he, Charlie, and Dean walked down the street. Benny and Dean had a group project for Garth’s class and Charlie just refused to stay behind.

Charlie nodded sympathetically, “Don’t worry Dean. Some nice girl will come along and scoop you up before you know it.”  
“Hmm,” Dean hummed in that dismissive way that drove everyone nuts. 

Benny rolled his eyes, “So what are we going to do with this project man? I mean it’s about comparing shift experiences. You know, what people think of your shift, what your symptoms were before the first one; all that jazz. But you don't have a shift yet. 

Dean shrugged, “Guess we'll just have to do as many of the questions as we can. I've had enough symptoms so far to at least do that section.” 

Charlie began humming ‘Walking on Sunshine’ as she smacked a stick against the cross-wire fence they were walking beside. 

Benny yawned, “Yeah that'll work. Garth knows about your situation anyway so I doubt he'll penalize you. Have you looked at the sheet yet?” 

Dean shook his head, a yawn ripping out of his throat as well, “Nah. I just shoved it in my bag.” 

Benny nodded, “Hey Red, do you think I could hitch a ride. This guy lives to far away and I missed my nocturn this morning while I was rushing out the door. I could use a power nap.”

Charlie shrugged and ceased her humming, “Yeah, sure Benny. Hop on.” 

Benny gave her that big toothy grin before Dean heard the tell-tale crack of bone as Benny shifted into his bat form. It was always funny watching him go from such a big guy to such a tiny creature. Benny made a little bat screech as he stretched his wings on the sidewalk where they had stopped. 

Dean knew Benny could fly but he dropped down to his knees to pick him up anyway, “Here ya go.”

Benny screeched what Dean assumed was a thanks. If two people were in their shift they could communicate telepathically with one another in a sort of universal language; but unless you hadn’t had your first shift or you were in human form, telepathy was out. 

Dean carefully placed Benny’s small, warm body in the back of Charlie’s hoodie. Normally Benny slept upside down like a real bat would, but it wasn't really an option if they were walking. Dean watched as Benny made a tiny bat yawn and folded his wings around his face. 

“He’s out cold isn't he?” Charlie grinned.

Dean chuckled, “If he isn't he will be soon. He looked like was about to fall over in exhaustion."

They began walking again and Charlie shook her head, sounding exasperated, “I keep telling him he can't forget his medicine but he’s just so shit at self-care. Not that you're much better.” 

“Hey! What did I do?” Dean looked slightly affronted.

“Well, it’s more what you haven’t done. When was your last appointment with the shift therapist you said you were seeing? You told me you’ve been pretty nocturnal lately. You should get a prescription,” Charlie crossed her arms. She always reminded Dean of a scolding mother when she did that. 

“Well geez. I’ll consider it if it makes you so worried,” Dean shoved his hands in his faded army jacket as they neared the corner for his street. 

“Good,” Charlie smiled. “I do worry about you two idiots. Thank god you at least have your family looking out for you.” 

Dean nodded, “Yeah, and it’s a good thing Benny has you. Lord knows he doesn't listen to his father.” 

Charlie scoffed, “He doesn't listen to anyone.” She smirked, “But I do give him a run for his money.” 

They walked in silence as they strolled down Sycamore Street towards Dean's house at the end. It was a two-story house with peeling white siding and a doggy door in every entrance. Most people had some form of alternative entrance. Benny for example had a tunnel-like cave that lead from the outside into his attic. Charlie's parents had installed a slide on the side of the stairs so she could glide around in her Otter shift. Dean spared a second to wonder if his family would have to change anything or if he could get by on the doggy doors. 

Dean smiled, they had reached the front steps of his house in under ten minutes. Realistically not enough time for a power nap, but Charlie was a total sap and she rarely said no to Benny when he wanted one. Especially when he threatened to sleep in her rafters again (an unfortunate incident that involved a nerf gun and a week of grovelling on Benny's part).

Dean reached into her hood and picked his friend up, he didn't so much as stir, “He’s dead to the world.” 

Charlie peered at the little fuzzy lump in Dean’s hands and snickered, “Lazy bastard.” 

As Dean shifted Benny so he could get out his keys he heard loud yapping sounds from in the house and a parade of paws running down the stairs. A second later Sam burst through the front dog door and onto the steps, his tail wagging wildly as he hopped up on Dean’s legs. 

Dean laughed, “Whoah Sammy! Why so affectionate? Miss me while you were home sick?” 

Charlie chuckled and bent down to Sam’s level, “Hey Sam!” 

Sam, Dean supposes, hadn't noticed Charlie before, but now that he saw her he began yipping excitedly. Charlie fell over on her butt when Sam jumped up into her arms, demanding a hug apparently. Dean never understood why his brother was so touchy-feely. 

Charlie’s laughing must have woke Benny up because suddenly the fuzzy lump in Dean’s hand was cracking into human form, his shift like swirling mass of blood in dean’s arms. Before he knew it he had an armful of his friend, the other boy leaning heavily on Dean's chest. He struggled to stay upright under his surprising weight. 

Benny smiled sleepily at Dean, “Hey Brother. Thought Charlie was carrying me.” 

Dean swallowed, Benny’s lips were really close to his. He could feel the steady beat of Benny's heart through his own chest and the push and pull of his breath smoothed across his face. They were practically hugging, “She was, but I had to get you out of the hood so...” 

Benny hummed his acknowledgment as he pulled away, “Well it was a nice nap while it lasted.” 

Dean nodded and fumbled as he shoved his keys into the lock and opened the door. He shuffled inside, avoiding the look that Charlie gave him as motioned them to follow.

Charlie chuckled as Benny yawned and followed Dean inside the house, a doppy grin on his face. 

"What are you smiling about?" Charlie questioned him as she got to her feet, Sam the puppy in her arms, squirming about in protest at being raised to such heights. 

Benny smiled as they followed Dean into the house, "Just happy I guess." 

Charlie raised her brow as she shut the door and placed the squirming Sam on the floor, "Right." 

Sam scurried off to who knows where and Dean pretended he didn't hear what his friends had said from the living room. The heightened hearing he was experiencing lately was both a gift and a curse. 


	5. A Heap on the Floor

Dean sighed tiredly as he stroked his hand across Charlie’s back. She had shifted into her otter form about an hour into their studies and crawled into his lap. She was rumbling happily on his crossed legs as they all lay together in a heap around the coffee table. Benny was sprawled out across the couch and Dean’s head rested near his chest as they scrawled out notes.

“Okay next question; Have your partner describe what your shift looks like. What form does it take?” Benny tapped the pen he was holding on the page and looked down at Dean. “Do I have to change or are your past experiences sufficient?” 

Dean hummed as he leaned his head back to look at Benny, “It looks like blood. Red, and metallic, and flowing. But not gruesome, just calm.” 

Benny chuckled, “It’s fitting I suppose.” 

Dean smiled, “Well at least it doesn't look like snot.” 

Benny nodded, “Thank the lord for little miracles.” 

Dean chuckled, “Last question; Many people experience pack urges; have you or your partner experienced these? What the heck does that even mean?”

Benny shrugged, “It’s like increased family values or something like that. I would assume your family feels it a lot. They are all dogs after all.” 

Dean hummed in thought, “Never thought of that. Though Sammy did cling to me for a long time before his first shift. But he’s always been an affectionate kid.” 

Benny just scribbled something on the page, “Well have you felt anything recently? I don’t. I have the instinct to stay in a colony, but bat shifts are in it more for safety in numbers than familial bonds. Not that I don’t love my family, but having six brothers and six sisters can rough especially given we’re all bats.”

Dean nodded in understanding, Benny’s family weren't the most personable of folks, “I haven’t noticed anything. I mean we've always been pretty close knit to begin with. Nature after Nurture I guess.” 

Benny shrugged, “I suppose. Is Charlie asleep?” 

Dean looked down at his lap where he still absentmindedly stroked his friend. Her breathing seemed to be evened out ans she was definitely asleep, “Yeah, she is. What is it with you two today? At least I managed to stay awake. And I don’t even take nocturn.” 

Benny waved his hands dismissively, “Perhaps your lap is just comfortable or something?”

Dean snorted, “You weren't even sleeping in my lap.”  
“Well, maybe I’ll test it out then. We’re done anyway, and I’m still tired,” Benny was shifting before Dean could protest. As much as he loved his friends he wasn’t too keen on playing matress for them. 

But of course Benny wouldn't have cared anyway. Dean sighed in exasperation as Benny crawled his way over Dean’s shoulder instead and snuggled up against his neck. 

“That’s not my lap Benny,” Dean rolled his eyes. 

Benny let out a little bat screech and settled his body in the curve of his collar bone. He shook his head but allowed it. He decided he might as well catch a nap as well. He closed his eyes and let the waves of sleep wash over him.

:::::::

 

It was two hours later when John walked in the door to find his eldest son and his friends in a lazy heap on the living room floor. He walked over to the three of them and kicked at Dean’s feet, “Dean get off the floor. Your mother and Bobby are going to be home in a minute with dinner.”

Dean blinked his eyes open blearily, “Bobby’s coming?” He rolled over slightly only to come face-to-face with a slowly-gaining-consciousness Benny. He must of shifted at some point because he was now a very human weight pressing against his chest. He could vaguely make out Charlie sprawled out on his side, her small arm flung over his stomach. 

John raised a brow at Dean’s surprised look, “Yes. I told you this morning. Now if you would be so kind as to escort your friends out.”

Benny blinked his eyes, now fully awake he looked over at John, “Good to see you Mr. Winchester.”

Dean tried to sit up but Benny apparently hadn't felt the need to move, and Charlie was apparently an aggressive snuggler as her arms tightened around him. John rolled his eyes, “Lafitte, go home.” 

Benny chuckled, “Sure thing.” He patted Dean on his shoulder and grinned, “You really are comfy.” 

Dean swore up and down that he did not blush like that in front of his father and that the mortification he was somehow feeling was all some sort of fucked up nightmare.

Benny slipped away from Dean before grabbing his bag and heading out, “See you at school Dean!” 

Dean choked on his words only a little, “Ye-yeah. See you later.”   
John raised his eyebrows at Charlie next, “One more, Dean.” 

Dean sighed in embarrassment and poked Charlie in the side, “Wake up.” 

Charlie was apparently a lighter sleeper that he realized because at the gentle prod she sprung of the floor, “MARSHMALLOWS?” She looked around the room, seemingly stunned.

Dean could hear Sam laughing from somewhere behind John and he groaned. 

John shook his head, “Time to go Charlie.” 

Charlie looked at him and nodded, apparently dazed and confused, “Yeah...” 

She walked out of the door like a zombie, not bothering to pick up her things, Dean was thankful when he saw Sam hand her her bag while he got up off the floor. 

Dean looked at his dad with sheer traumatization in his eyes, “Dad I uh...” 

John shook his head, “I don’t want to know what you three get up to when I’m not around thanks.” He left at that as he exited the room. 

Sam was beside Dean the next minute, laughing his ass off. 

Dean made that same high pitched whine again, the urge to curl an unseen tail between his legs beating in his chest, “Shut up Sam.”

Sam grinned in that way that little siblings do when they know they’re being annoying, “You made an adorable pillow, Dean.” 

Dean scowled and pushed his brother’s shoulder, “Bitch.”

“Jerk,” Sam stuck out his tongue as he fell on the couch. 

“Boys no rough-housing!” Mary called from the front door and Dean and Sam smiled.

“Hey Mom,” Dean greeted her as she passed by the living room door with a big brown package in her hands. Dean could smell the tangy scent of steak and his mouth watered. 

“Steak?” Dean grinned widely as her wrapped his arm around Mary’s waist, making a move to snatch the bag from her arms.

She swatted him away, “Paws off mister. We haven’t even cooked them yet. You must be getting close to your shift if you can smell them.” 

Dean shrugged, more focused on the butchered meat in his mother’s hands. He took a deep breath of the smell and flushed when his mother laughed. 

“Boy must be carnivore if he’s hungry for the raw stuff. You should take him to his counsellor, Mary,” Bobby appeared by their side. 

Dean grinned, “Bobby!”

The old man grunted but excepted the hug as Dean threw his arms around him, “Don’t get all sentimental; I saw you last Friday.” 

Dean shrugged, “So?”

“Bobby!” Sam came bounding out of the living room with a distinctly puppish gait.

Bobby rolled his eyes as Sam mauled him with affection next. Mary chuckled as she made her way to the kitchen, “Dean come set the table. Sammy go wash up.” 

Dean nodded and followed his mother into the kitchen. He pulled out their old miss-matched plates and silverware and began setting them around the kitchen table, “SO how was your day mom?” 

Mary shrugged as she began unwrapping the meat and pulling out pre-made veggie kabobs from the fridge, “Oh it was okay. The kids at the nursery pulled on my fur a bit more than usual today but other than that it was good.” 

Dean nodded. His mother worked at the local daycare. Her Golden Retriever shift was very calming to children apparently, plus she was a natural care-giver. 

Bobby shuffled in with Sam a minute later and picked up the food, taking it outside to John waiting by the grill. Sam hugged Mary and began to rely everything that happened to him that day. 

Dean smiled and sat down at the dinner table. It was nice to be with family. He wasn't sure that he had ‘pack instincts’ or whatever, but he certainly felt a strong love for them all.

Half-an-hour later and the food was brought in. Dean shuffled his chair over so Sam would have room beside him at the table. Sam smiled and plunked down into the worn-out wooden chair.

There was no grace said at the Winchester table so they immediately went for the food. John cut into the peaceful silence the same way he cut into the bleeding steak on his plate, “So Dean do you have anything you want to tell us?” 

Dean paused mid-chew to look at his father’s amused glance. He swallowed quickly, “Not that I know of?”

Bobby raised his eyebrow and chuckled. Mary looked just as confused as Dean, “What are you talking about, John?” 

John shook his head, “Nothing hun, doesn't matter.” 

Dean chuckled, “Losing your memory old dog?” 

John scowled, “Don’t sass me, Boy.” 

Dean rolled his eyes and Mary tutted. Whatever, he wasn't the one acting weird. 

Sammy just chewed on his meat, sharing a look with Bobby that Dean couldn't exactly interpret. 

“So, Bobby, how’s work at the garage been?” Mary smiled politely as she daintily chewed on a piece of meat.

“You know, same old same old. Rufus won’t stop bugging me, the college boy I hired can’t tell the tail end of a car from his own ass. Business is slow,” Bobby grunted out. 

Sammy wrinkled his brows, “Why did hire him then? Dean’s better at that stuff than most college guys I’m sure.” 

Bobby looked over at Dean, “You want a job, Boy?” 

Dean blinked, “A job? At the garage?” 

Bobby shrugged, “Could use a part-timer to pick up the slack. And I’m sure you’re not objectionable to extra pocket-cash.” 

John nodded from his seat, “I think that’s a great idea. It’ll build character and you can save for university.” 

Mary grinned, “Oh that would be wonderful, Dean!” 

Dean shrugged and smiled, “Yeah, I guess I could try it.” 

Bobby nodded, “Be at the garage at 8 am tomorrow morning then.” 

Dean nodded, “Okay.”

Sammy grinned from where he was sitting, “I should go into job counselling.” 

They all laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, there's the next chapter.


	6. Boys like Cars and Money.

Dean walked into Singer’s Salvage that morning at quarter to eight to find Bobby’s legs sticking out from under a practically destroyed BMW. He let out a low whistle, “What happened to that hunk of crap?” 

Bobby rolled out on his creeper with a grunt, “Some rich folk out in Topeka have a drunk ass for a son.” 

Dean winced, “The guy walk away from it?” 

“Strictly speaking he wheeled away. The kid’s broken up waist down,” Bobby shook his head.

“Why would they even want the car if it’s in that bad a condition? Surely they're not getting much insurance from it,” Dean ran his hand along the indented curve of the front engine. 

Bobby shrugged, “I don’t know. Didn’t ask. They just asked me to fix the thing up no matter the cost. I ain't complaining. This one job will feed me for a couple months at least.” 

“Hmm. So, where so you want me?” Dean stretched his arms over his head, cracking his shoulder blades.

Bobby huffed, jerking his socket wrench at a jacked up honda,“Just pick up a wrench and start changing the tires on that van over there.” 

“Okay boss!” Dean grinned and saluted. 

“Idjit,” Bobby rolled his eyes and pushed himself back under the BMW. 

Dean strolled over to the back of the garage where all the tools were kept and pulled a wrench out of the rows of shiny metal drawers. He chuckled when he saw Rufus out of the corner of his eyes, passed out an old pillow next to a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue. The old hound dog must have passed out. 

Dean made his way over to the bloodhound shift and bent down to pull at his long ears, “Yo Rufus! Time to work!” 

Rufus startled suddenly, jerking awake with a sneeze and a grunt. He growled lowly at Dean before his bones cracked and a swirl of jagged edges gave way to the old and tired black man, “Boy! Don’t you know to respect your elders!” 

Dean raised his hands in defence, “Just waking you up Rufus.” 

Rufus grumbled and walked off to the back door, “Stupid boy..”

Dean heard Bobby chuckle from the other side of the open garage and shrugged, heading over to the honda. He got to work on the rear tires first, working the bolts off. It was easy work; he had done it so many times before.

As they worked on their separate jobs Dean and Bobby both groaned when the sound of the blues rolled through the garage. “Turn of that crap.”

Rufus huffed and glared at Bobby, “This is not crap, Bobby Singer. Muddy Waters deserves respect.” 

Dean rolled his eyes, he didn't really care for Blues and Jazz. He’d much rather rock out to AC/DC or Metallica. Hell, even Taylor Swift was better than Jazz. But he didn't say anything. He figured this sort of thing was a common occurrence. 

“Muddy Waters ain't that great,” Bobby grumbled. 

“You have no taste. For a German Shepherd you think you'd be easier to train,” Rufus grunted, turning up the old radio a little louder before reaching arms deep into a pink convertible. 

“I ain't gonna be trained by no one,” Bobby raised his voice indignantly. 

Dean chuckled as he slipped the third tire off the van.

“I forgot, old dogs don’t learn new tricks. My bad,” Rufus grunted, pulling what looked like a bikini top out of the convertible’s hood, “Fuckin kids” 

Dean raised his brow as Rufus threw it over his shoulder, “We don't even have a beach in Lawrence.”

Rufus rolled his shoulders before digging back into the car with a screw driver, “That’s the least of what’s wedged in here.” 

Dean laughed, he had finished getting the tires off and rolled them to the side. The new ones were already stacked up in a neat pile near the rear of the car. He set to work just when the bell above the door jingled loudly. 

“Dean would you get that? My hands are tied up right now,” Bobby grunted and swore.

“No problem,” Dean slipped the wrench he was holding into the back pocket of his jeans and wiped his hands on his plain white tank top.

He strolled over to the counter near the customer entrance and smiled up at the man standing there. He looked sort of familiar but Dean couldn't place it, “Welcome to Singer’s Salvage. What can I do for you?”

The man looked Dean up and down and smiled, “My car has been giving me troubles all the way from Kansas City. It died just down the road. I found you guys on my phone and flew over. Could you do an emergency tow?” 

Dean nodded, looking at the man a little more closely now. He really did give off the air shift vibe. He was tall and lean, a sharp looking business suit hanging perfectly on him. He couldn't have been more than 25, with carefully styled brown hair, and soft grey eyes. He was really handsome.

Dean coughed a little once he realised he had been staring,“No Problem. I'll just get Rufus out here for ya.” 

The man raised his brow but smiled softly at Dean, “Thank you very much.” 

Dean headed back into the shop and saw rufus pulling an accompanying bottom to the bikini, “Emergency tow.” 

Rufus grunted, “Alright. Dean, you might as well come along.” 

Dean nodded, “Uh, okay, sure.” 

Rufus wiped his hands on an old rag before walking out to meet the man. Dean trailed along behind him.

The man smiled as Rufus approached but frowned slightly when it wasn't returned. Rufus clapped his hands together, “Emergency tow right? Where did you die?” 

The man pointed behind him at nowhere in particular, “Just down the road.”

Rufus nodded, “Good, not too far then.” He gestured for Dean and the man to follow him out to the yard.

The three of them piled into the old rust-bucket that Bobby called a tow truck and were faced with the awkwardness of being squished much too close to each other. The many huffed a breath as he was crammed in beside Dean and the passenger side door, “Cozy isn't it?” 

Rufus scoffed, “I keep telling Bobby he needs to buy a full size tow but that man is stubborn as a mule. I'm sometimes surprised he isn't one.” 

Dean chuckled and the man breathed a heavy sigh beside them as he folded his arms into his lap, pulling his shoulders in on himself. Dean attempted do the same, more out of courtesy than actual discomfort. 

As the old tow truck sputtered to life and Rufus drove it off the lot, Dean turned to the man beside him. He figured he should at least engage the uncomfortable bird in conversation, “So what’s your name?”

The Man looked at Dean and smiled, “Michael. Michael Milton. What’s yours?”

Dean smiled, “It’s Dean.” 

Michael smiled, “That’s a nice name. I think it suits you.” 

Dean felt his face flush a little, “So what brings you to Lawrence. It’s more off a passing through town. You have family here?” 

Michael grinned, “My younger brother goes to school here, he’s been living with my aunt and uncle since last year.” 

Dean raised his brow, “Why’s he living with your uncle?” 

Rufus smacked him abruptly on the back of his head, “Ow! Rufus, what the hell?” 

“Don’t be so forward boy! You don't need to pry into this man’s life,” Rufus grunted.

Michael chuckled, “It’s alright, Sir.” 

Rufus fluffed up a bit at being called Sir and went back to focusing on the road. Michael’s shoulders had begun to relax also, though Dean hadn't really noticed until they were rubbing up against his own.

“My brother is a bit of a... trouble child. He did something pretty illegal and our parents thought shipping off to the farm my uncle owns might straighten him around. He’s apparently very good at corn harvesting from what I've heard,” Michael chuckled as he stretched his arm out on the seat behind Dean’s back. 

Dean laughed, “Wow, must have been bad to warrant banishment to the corn fields.” 

Michael shrugged, “He needed it. Though he wasn't happy when I dropped him off. A penthouse in Chicago is a bit different from a farm house in Lawrence.” 

Dean hummed, “I’ll bet. So Chicago huh? What do you do there?” 

Michael tapped his fingers on the seat near Dean’s left ear, “I’m a financial advisor for a law firm.” 

Dean whistled, “That must pay well.” 

Michael nodded, “I make a fair wage.” 

“Must be more than fair if you can afford a penthouse,” Rufus sounded a little shocked and exasperated.

Michael laughed, “I suppose so. I've lived my entire life this way so I haven't thought of it much. Though that must make me sound like a rich bastard.” 

Dean shrugged, “Just a little.” 

Michael grinned impossibly wider at him, his hand on the seat brushing against Dean’s shoulder. Dean had yet to notice it. He was honestly a little distracted by the sight of the car on they were pulling up to.

He gaped a little bit, “That’s your car?” 

Michael nodded, “Yeah. It’s an Aston Martin Vanquish.” 

Rufus halted the car and looked over at the man, “That car costs as much as my house!” 

Michael hummed, “Well, it’s a very nice ride when it doesn’t die on the road.” 

Dean continued to stare as Rufus crawled out of the tow, “Wow man. You must rock at your job.” 

Michael smiled, “I’m not bad.” His fingers glided over the back of Dean’s neck as he slide out of the driver’s seat and onto the side of the road. 

Dean had definitely noticed the man’s hands that time, and forced himself to swallow as he shuffled out of the truck. Had it been there the whole ride? Surely Michael wasn't flirting with him? A guy like that couldn't be gay. At least he didn't think he could. Although to be fair, Dean was still trying to figure out why it mattered at all who this man choose to sleep with. 

“Dean, get your ass in gear boy!” Dean hurried over to where Michael watched as Rufus opened up his car’s hood. 

“What’s it look like?” Michael peered over the hood, the look on his face told Dean this man probably knew nothing about cars other than which were the most pricey. 

Rufus grunted as he looked under the hood, “Well I know what it is. Dean, what do you say is wrong?” 

Dean blinked, “Me?” 

“Boy if you're going to be working with us you better learn to look under a hood when I tell you,” Rufus grunted.

Dean rolled his eyes but dipped his head over the engine. It was magnificent V12 and Dean practically drooled. He wasn't normally hard on for fast cars but he’s not sure the most hardened of men could look at this engine and not see the beauty of it.

He peered closer into the hood and spotted a little green cable that had come off it’s hook up, “You have an electrical cable loose. Newer cars like to throw hissy fits when all their toys aren't hooked up. The engine looks fine. Beautiful actually.” 

Dean reached his arms inside the hood and reattached the cable before giving it a cursory once-over, “That’s all I could see.” 

Rufus grinned, just a bit proud, “Good job, boy. Your car should work fine now, Mr. Milton.” 

Michael smiled, “Let’s check it out then shall we?” 

Dean nodded and closed the hood of the car carefully, “Good to go.” 

Michael pulled a set of keys from his pocket and slid into the driver’s seat. A second later and the engine purred to life, everything back to completely functional.

Rufus smiled and clapped his hands on Michael’s shoulder as he got back out of the car, “Alright then! Glad we could help you out.” 

Michael nodded, “It’s greatly appreciated. How much do I owe you?” He began to pull out his wallet but Rufus waved his hand.

“For connecting a cable? That would be downright theft! Nah, my time ain't worth that much. I’m willing to help a man out,” Rufus grunted.

Michael frowned, “I insist, you’ve been such a big help.” 

Rufus furrowed his brow, “Listen here, Son. I ain't gonna take your money.” 

Michael sighed, “At least let me take Dean for a ride back in my car? As thanks for the help.” 

Dean grinned from where he had been watching them by the hood of the car, “Dude, that'd be awesome.”

Rufus frowned, “I don't know. Mary, would have my head.” 

Dean frowned, “Oh come on Rufus, I’m 18 man! And Mom doesn't have to find out. When I am ever going to get to ride in a Aston Martin?” 

Rufus looked at Dean’s eager face and Michael’s trustworthy smile and sighed, “Fine! Fine! Just don't kidnap the kid or I'll never hear the end of it.” 

Michael smiled as Dean did shook his hand in a weird sort of fist-bump, “Get in then.” 

Rufus waved as he wandered back to the tow and drove down the road. Dean grinned and slid into the passenger seat of Michael’s sleek, black car. The interior was all warm leather and smooth curves and Dean ran his hand affectionately over the dash. 

“Do you like it?” Michael asked as he settled in the driver’s seat.

Dean nodded, “Hell yeah. She’s one gorgeous lady.” 

Michael chuckled, “Yes she is. Seat belts then.” 

Michael clicked his belt into place in one fluid movement that Dean hardly registered. He reached up and behind to grab the belt and pulled it across his chest to the buckle. He attempted to push it in but his hand kept slipping, “Crap.” 

Michael raised his brow in amusement, “Having trouble?” 

Dean sighed, “Yeah, just give me a sec.” 

He struggled again to slip the metal piece into it’s slot before the belt locked up and refused to go further, a small, yippish whine came out in his frustration as he let the belt snap back against the side of the car. 

Michael chuckled, “Here. Let me help you, Dean.” 

Michael leaned over Dean and place his right hand on his thigh while the other pulled the seat belt cleanly across his chest to lock in place beside his hip. Dean held his breath as Michael’s hand slowly slipped down his thigh and off of his knee as he leaned back into his own seat. That should not have made him feel so fuzzy. Sure Michael was handsome, and rich, and really really nice, but he was straight. He was totally, completely, probably straight.

“Shall we see how fast this girl likes to go then?” Michael smirked at Dean as he fidgeted in the warm leather of the passenger’s seat. 

Dean swallowed and nodded, “Yeah. Cool.” 

Michael winked at Dean as he pulled the car off the road and slammed his foot on the gas. 

Dean swore he nearly got whiplash. The car probably went from 0 to 60 in 3.6 seconds and it was wild. Dean forgot all about the fuzzy feelings in his stomach as they were replaced with sheer adrenaline and a rush of speed. 

Dean laughed out as they sped down the lonely road, taking no time at all to pass Rufus in his old tow truck and pull into the yard in record time. 

Michael pulled his car around to the back of the yard behind a pile of old beat-up junkers and smiled at Dean as they stopped. The boy looked dumbly happy. 

“That was awesome! You could totally race this car and beat everyone,” Dean grinned stupidly as he looked over at Michael. The man was looking at him in a way Dean wasn't sure he understood. There was a sort of blaze behind his eyes. 

Dean patted his right arm on Michael’s shoulder and smiled, “Thanks, man.” 

Michael smiled, “You're welcome, Dean.” 

His right hand came up to rest on Dean’s, “I'm glad you enjoyed yourself,”

Dean felt the heat rising in his cheeks but ignored it, “Yeah, man. Glad I could help.” 

Michael hummed a little, he wrapped his hand around Dean’s wrist and pulled it down towards the arm rest between them. Dean’s eyes widened as the heat began to rise and flood over him like a beach at high tide as Michael’s other hand came up to his cup his cheek. 

He swallowed hard, “Um, I...” 

Michael smiled softly, “Is this okay?” 

Dean didn't know what to say. What does one say in that sort of situation? His options raced through his head at lightning speed. Michael was obviously going to kiss him, but what if he wanted more than a kiss? Dean was pretty sure he would want more than a kiss. But he could say no. He could say no and that would be that. But he lives in chicago so it’s not like he'd ever see the guy again. Wait why is he even debating this? He’s straight! He should just say no and be done with it. But everything Benny and Charlie said.... And the looks his father gave him last night, and the way thinking of Benny’s lips on his own made him feel light-headed...

He looked at Michael’s steely eyes. An experiment; people are supposed to experiment. He'll never know if he likes guys if he doesn't kiss one right? He nods his head.

Michael grins widely before pulling Dean’s face in towards his own and then his lips are there, pressing against Dean’s and it’s... Different. 

Dean let’s his eyes close as Michael moves his lips across Dean’s slowly. It’s a soft press of lip, his lips rougher than his first girlfriend’s but still somehow soft. He leans into the kiss a little more, moving his left arm over to grip onto Michael’s shoulder. He wants to know more about this. 

Dean is only slightly surprised when Michael’s tongue comes out to press against his lips. He opens up hesitantly to allow the appendage to slip into his mouth, massaging against his own. It’s a lot like kissing Rhonda Hurley, all dominance and no room for battling as Michael moves his mouth more roughly against Dean. 

Dean whines softly as Michael’s hand moves from his cheek to tug lightly on his hair. He hand always liked when girls did that, but somehow Michael doing it felt so much better. He squeezed Michael’s shoulder in encouragement and he chuckled against Dean’s lips before pulling slightly away. 

“You liked that did you?” Michael smirked, looking at Dean with an appraising eye. 

Dean nodded, his cheeks flushed and his hair a ruffled mess no doubt. Meanwhile Michael looked as put together as he did when they started.

Michael grinned, “Well, I should really get going. Lucifer will wonder about me if I take too long.” 

Dean blinked, “Lucifer?” 

Michael nodded, “My younger brother.” 

Dean furrowed his brows, “Is he by any chance tall, blonde, and perpetually disinterested?” 

Michael quirked his brow, “You know him?” 

Dean swallowed, “I uh... I think I go to school with him.” 

“Huh, small world,” he leaned back away from Dean and reached into the lapels of his jacket, procuring a small card from his inside pocket and handed it to Dean. 

“Your business card?” Dean turned it around in his fingers.

“I’ll be in town for a couple of weeks working on a business related venture in Kansas City. I hope you'll consider calling me. My cell number is on the back,” Michael smiled sweetly. 

Dean felt the blush on his cheeks deepen and he simply nodded, “Yeah, uh...okay.” 

Michael beamed, “You better get back to work now, Dean. I don't want you to lose your job.” 

Dean nodded, “Yeah. I’ll just... Go then.” 

Dean slipped out of the car and began making his way from the back of the yard to the garage when Michael called out, “Hey Dean!” 

Dean turned around, “Yeah?”

Michael smirked, “You're cute when you blush.” 

With that he sped off, his expensive car humming as he left. 

Dean blinked a few times and looked down at the business card in his hand. Did that really just happen? 

He began walking again. Still a little shell shocked. That had been...well, it had been nice actually. He hadn’t expected to like it. He hadn’t expected to enjoy it at all, let alone feel awestruck by it afterwards. He contemplated this as he wandered into the shop and back over to the honda van. 

“So how was the ride, Dean-o?” Bobby grinned as he set to work on the first tire he had started earlier. 

Dean smiled, “It was nice.” 

Bobby rose his eyebrow, “Nice? Since when is anything just Nice with you?” 

Dean shrugged, “I don't know Bobby. It was awesome. The engine was a thing of wet dreams and the speed of the car made me feel on cloud nine.” 

Bobby grunted, “Sure thing, kid.” 

Dean rolled his eyes as he pushed the tire into place.

It didn't take him long to finish now that there were no handsome men in fancy suits with nice cars to distract him. He pushed through his work and by the time he had changed the tires on three other cars and an oil change on another Bobby said he could go home. 

He threw his oil rag over the old chair in the back and headed out to the Impla. He plunked down into the driver’s seat and smiled, “Don't worry, Baby. You're still the only car for me.” 

He turned the key and she hummed happily. He drove home with a little thought nagging in his head...

Maybe he wasn't as straight as he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't supposed to happen! Michael just invaded the story and demanded a place in Dean's bizarre journey to self-discovery. Don't worry it won't go anywhere, if anything he'll help to introduce Castiel. 
> 
> And real life never lands you with the right person first time around anyway so there. I have plans for Benny in the next chapter just so you're warned ahead of time. (wink wink nudge nudge)


	7. It's All in Your Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I lied. No Benny this chapter. But maybe the next one. And still no Cas yet, but he'll be here soon!

Dean had trouble keeping his eyes open as Mary scooped a pile of bacon and eggs onto his plate the following morning. He was dead tired from not sleeping at all. He blamed it mostly on his new-found nocturnalism and partly on the thoughts that had been racing through his brain all night.

Should he call Michael? He gave him his number, would it be rude not to call? Did he really like guys or was this all some weird mind shit that his symptoms were causing? He just didn't know at this point. 

Mary ruffled his hair affectionately as he thanked her for breakfast. Sam was in the chair next to him, his own portion dwarfing Dean’s in comparison. He yawned as he speared a bit of egg with his fork and shoved it in his mouth. 

“I've made an appointment for this afternoon with your shift therapist Dean. I think we need to get you set up for when it happens. Maybe get you a prescription for Nocturn as well,” Mary gave dean a meaningful look. “You've been so tired lately.” 

Dean blinked blearily, “Hmm, yeah okay.” 

Mary smiled, “Why don’t you go back to bed, sweetie? I’ll wake you when it’s time to go.”

Sam laughed, “Yeah before you fall asleep in your food.” 

Dean looked down at the table and realized he had rested his elbow on the scrambled eggs. He swore under his breath and excused himself from the table, wiping egg from his arm as he left. 

He climbed the stairs and crawled onto his bed, turning in a circle three times before falling in a heap on the black comforter. He lasted about three seconds before his was out like a light. 

:::

When Dean woke up it was to soft wet licks against his forehead, he furrowed his brows and squinted awake to see his mother snuffling at him, her golden retriever shift a comforting presence. He always thought Mary had the most golden fur of all the retriever’s he had ever met. 

He smiled lazily, “Okay, okay! I’m getting up. Do you want me to drive or will you?” His mom didn't like driving much.

A crack of bones and swirling fire accompanied Mary as she shifted back to human form, “I’ll drive today. We have to drop your brother off at the library beforehand.” 

Dean nodded, “Okay. Just let me get dressed then.” 

Mary nodded and left her son to change in peace. Dean rolled his shoulders and felt the cracking of joints in his back. He sighed and flopped out of bed, opting to throw on the jeans he had wore the day before and an old Kansas t-shirt he got at a thrift shop the year before.

He thudded down the stairs and shoved his feet in his worn combat boots, not bothering with the laces he left perpetually done-up. He didn't think he would need a coat since it was May and the sun was shining brightly. 

He met Sam and their mom on the driveway, “Ready to go.” 

Mary nodded and they all hopped into her barely-used Volkswagen beetle. The moment they got in the car Dean turned around and slugged his brother in the arm, “Punch Buggy!”

Sam groaned, “Are you going to do that every time we get in the car?” 

Dean gave him a shit-eating grin, “You know it.”

Mary rolled her eyes as Sam stuck his tongue out at Dean, who then promptly returned the gesture. 

The ride was relatively short to drop off Sam, so short in fact that Sam probably could have walked there just fine. But Dean supposed his mother had insisted. She was weirdly protective of his younger brother; she didn't like him being out alone longer than he had to be. 

Dean didn't mention as Sam waved goodbye from the library entrance where his friend Jess was waiting for him. Dean was pretty sure there was something going on there but he’d pester Sam about it some other time. 

Mary kept both hands tight on the steering wheel as she drove them to Dr. Mills. Dean like her a lot. She let Dean call her by her first name -Jody- seeing as his was her longest standing patient; most kids only have a shift therapist for a year, not five like Dean. 

The Belgian Tervuren shift was kind and motherly, but no-nonsense and Dean admired that. Her ability to tell him what he needed to hear and not what he wanted to hear was respectable. A few of the doctor’s he had seen before her had always skirted around the subject at hand and it left Dean with a bit of a white-coat syndrome. Until he was recommended Jodie by Garth three years ago.

Mary pulled up to the little office in ‘downtown’ Lawrence, and let Dean out so that she could find a place to park, “Just go right it. You have your health card right?” 

“Yeah, it’s in my pocket,” Dean patted the side of his jeans.  
Mary nodded and smiled, “Alright. It shouldn't take me too long.” 

Dean waved his hand once as she drove away before heading up the steps to the ten-story office building. He opened the doors and followed the familiar path to the elevators.

He pushed the button to the stop floor and waited for the doors to close. Just as they began to shut he heard a frantic voice from outside shouting, “Hold the door, please!” 

Dean placed his hand between the doors and waited until a red-headed girl burst through them. Dean smiled at her and let the doors slide closed again. He stood and waited for the elevator to move when he looked more closely at his lift companion, “Anna?”

Anna turned to look at him with a confused look before recognition set in, “Oh! Dean right? You were at Stockholm on Friday. Are you going to come to the next meeting?” 

Dean shrugged, “I’ll probably go for Charlie and Benny.” 

Anna smiled, “That’s great. It’s really important that we have straight allies in the group. I know it might not seem like much to us but I know that they all appreciate it. My sister is the reason I joined. Well, my sister, and my cousin. Although I think he joined more for my sister than I did. Despite what Lucifer says or puts off he’s fiercely protective of his family.” 

Dean blinked, “Wait, Lucifer is your cousin?” 

Anna nodded, “Yeah. And Rachel is my sister. Well, Rachel is technically my adopted sister. Our Dad is a pastor at a local church and he and my mom had always wanted a kid but they couldn't get pregnant so they adopted. Of course it wasn't much later that I turned up as a happy accident.” 

Dean smiled, “That’s cool. So Lucifer is your cousin on your mom’s side or...”

Anna smiled, “My Dad’s. My Uncle is the CEO of some fortune five company or something. He travels around a lot so Lucifer was living with his brother Micheal in Chicago. But some stuff happened, so now he lives with us.”

Dean nodded, adding the new information to his mind’s filing cabinet. It all sort of fell into place suddenly. Now Dean could picture the entire family. In a way it sort of gave him a heads up on what exactly he might run into if he decided to call Michael. 

The bell on the elevator chimed softly and Anna smiled as she exited the elevator, “See you around, Dean!” 

Dean waved, “Bye, Anna.”

Dean sighed as the elevator doors closed and carried him to the tenth floor.  
He walked down the narrow hall of the building and into the waiting room of the shift clinic. He wandered over to the front desk where the obnoxiously upbeat secretary was humming as she typed away at the computer.

Dean cleared his throat and she turned her attention to him with a million-watt smile, “Hi there Dean-o! You here to see Dr. Mills again?” 

Dean smiled and sighed, “Yeah.” He handed her the card with his health-care information on it. 

She scanned in a small machine on her desk and handed it back, “There you go, Dean-o. You can take a seat and Jody will be out in no time!” 

Dean smiled at the blonde woman, “Thanks, Donna.”

“You are most certainly welcome, Dean!” She grinned happily and Dean sat himself down in the plush black couch that sat in the waiting room. There was only a few other people in the waiting room. One or two kids about shifting age, and one little kid, probably five, whose mother was fretting over him dramatically. Dean shook his head. 

It was some sort of new trend or debate or something that parents were taking kids to shift therapists earlier and earlier, trying to make sure their kid didn't end up getting a sea-shift. A lot of Sea-rights activists saw this sort of action offensive. Claiming that the shift isn't something that can be changed with therapy or altered early on. It’s just something that inherently is. Of course the whole world could get into a big nature versus nurture debate there. As of yet nothing had been proven as to what caused the form of a shift to take shape. 

Dean was pretty sure he wasn't going to end up a sea shift though. He didn't have anything against sea shifters, he just knew in his gut that it wasn't him. Now if he could only be so sure about his sexuality. At least where society was concerned, sexuality was as big of an issue as one’s shift. In a society where animalistic instincts are heavily emphasized, breeding or procreating, is an important aspect of social values. 

Of course, there are some shifts which are far more lenient and inherently accepting of homosexuality. Dolphin shifts for one, are somewhat notorious for they’re acceptance of the gay community.

“Dean? You can come in now,” Jody waved at him from the door that lead to the little medical centre.

Dean stood up and followed her through the hall and into her office. He took his usual seat in the black chair that matched the couch in the waiting room. 

Jody sat down in the spinning chair by her desk and smiled at Dean, “So, Dean. How have you been lately?”  
Dean shrugged, “I've been okay.”

Jody nodded, “Your mom mentioned you've been displaying some shift symptoms lately. Can you tell me about them?”

Dean pursed his lips in thought, “Well it started with hunting instincts, then it progressed into nocturnalism and it’s sort of stayed there. I haven’t really noticed anything else.” 

Jody nodded and scribbled something on her note-pad, “How as you appetite been? Have you noticed any changes in what you eat, or what you want to eat?” 

Dean shook his head, “I've stayed pretty omnivorous actually.” 

Jody made a small ‘hmm’ sound and scribbled something else on her note-pad, “What about noises. Sounds you might make without realizing it?” 

Dean thought for a minute, “Actually, I’ve done this weird sort of whine sometimes. When I’m upset or embarrassed.”

Jody nodded and smiled. She wrote one last thing on her note-pad before addressing Dean, “Well these are all very good signs. By the sounds of it you should shift any day now. How long have these symptoms been happening? A couple of days I’m guessing.”

Dean chuckled awkwardly, “More like two weeks actually.” 

Jody frowned at this, “Dean, with symptoms like these you should have shifted within two or three days, not two weeks.”

Dean sighed and shrugged, “Well, I’ve never been exactly normal have I?” 

Jody sighed, “Well I’m going to give you a prescription for Noctun for now. I’d like to see you next week if possible. Have Ms. Hanscom make an appointment for you. I'm also going to give you a pamphlet for a therapist who specializes in mental blocks.”

Dean squinted in confusion, “Mental blocks?”

Jody nodded, “Sometimes people can experience periods where they are not able to shift due to trauma or mental blocks. A sort of proverbial wall. I have a feeling you've built a wall up in that brain of yours Dean. This man can help you pull it down.” 

Dean accepted the pamphlet and the prescription she handed to him, “Um. Okay.” 

Jody smiled, “Have a good day, Dean. Oh, and if I find out you didn't see Mr. Mortis there will be hell to pay.” 

Dean swallowed and nodded, “Sure thing, Jody.”  
He got up and left the office, meeting his mother in the waiting room.

Mary smiled, “How did it go.” 

Dean shook his head as they left the office, handing the papers to his mom, “I have a prescription and a referral.” 

Mary looked over the pamphlet as they headed into the elevator, “She thinks you have a mental block? It wouldn't surprise me actually. Your father had one when he got back from his deployment and I had one when your grandparents died. I think my mom had one when she was your age too.” 

Dean looked at her inquisitively, “You never told me that.” 

Mary shrugged, “I hadn't thought of it. But, yes. Emotional stability runs rampant in our family.” 

Dean laughed at that and Mary smiled.


	8. Think Gay Thoughts

The following Thursday Dean found himself thumbing through an old issue of Shift Weekly, this weird magazine that basically made people hate themselves because of the insane amount of photoshopping that was done to the models’ bodies. But it was the only reading material Dr. Mortis had in his waiting room other than a tattered old copy of Red Dragon. 

He tapped his foot on the ground impatiently. His mother hadn’t come this time as she had to work so Dean was left to his own devices. He had already been here half an hour, but to be fair he had gotten there early; of course he was relieved when a beaky looking man entered the room.

“Dean Winchester,” the man, Dr. Mortis, motioned towards his office door. Dean tried not to think too much about Hannibal Lector as he followed him into the private area.

Dr. Mortis sat down gracefully in his high-back black chair, a silver cane placed against the small end table beside him. Dean sat down with far less grace in the shorter chair opposite him.

Dr. Mortis stared at him for a minute before speaking, “My name is Doctor Todd Mortis. You may call me Sir or Doctor. I am an Ibis shifter. If you are unaware, that is a bird. I specialize in helping patients break mental blocks formed by trauma or those that they have self-inflicted. I do this by finding the source of one’s problem and assisting them through the steps needed to resolve the problem. Do you have any questions before we start?” 

Dean stared at the odd man, he was older and his hair was slicked back. He had a rather pointed nose that dean had no trouble imagining as a long beak. He shrugged, “I looked at the pamphlet that Jody gave me; it says you use telepathy? How’s that going to work if I can’t shift?”

Dr. Mortis nodded, “I have spent many years training myself to project the telepathic threads we hold during a shift, outward into my human mind. I am able to use it all times, shifted or not.”

Dean whistled, impressed. He knew there were people out there who could do that, but it was very very rare, “That’s pretty awesome.” 

Dr. Mortis looked a little bored, “Yes. Awesome. May we get started, Dean?”

Dean nodded, “So what do I do? Do you need me to-”

“Lay your head back,” Dr. Mortis interrupted him, standing from his chair to walk behind him.

Dean swallowed his nerves and tilted his head back to look at the man looming over him, “Now what?”  
Dr.Mortis placed his hands on either side of Dean’s head, cradling it softly, “Close your eyes.” 

Dean did as he was told.

“Imagine your mind as your house. Imagine you are in your home, comfortable and relaxed,” the doctor slipped his thumbs over his forehead. 

Dean let the image of himself lounging on the couch enter his mind. 

“Very good, Dean. Now I am going to knock on your door, and I’m going to need you to let me in,” the doctor’s forefingers pressed against the base of his neck. 

Dean was surprised when a knock pounded through his mind. It sounded so real, but it wasn’t. 

“Focus, Dean. Open the door,” the fingers pressed harder.

Dean let the image slid through his mind again, he made himself wander to the front door of his house and hesitantly opened the door.

Suddenly there was a burst of colour, voices, words, images all flashing behind his eyes as an unfamiliar presence ran through his house, banging on walls, looking at pictures, assaulting his home.

“STOP IT!” Dean yelled out in his mind but the presence didn’t slow. 

Dean yelled again, “STOP!”

He slammed his hand on the armrest of the chair and Dr. Mortis let his hands slip from his head. Dean was breathing harshly as the doctor sat back down across from him. 

“Why did it feel like that?” Dean drew in his breath. “Why did it feel like you were trashing my brain?” 

Dr. Mortis was very calm as he explained, “You are only accustomed to yourself inside your own mind. Others who have shifted are used to sharing mind space. Yours however, is very quiet, very absent of another’s presence. Often times when a child first shifts the emotions and thoughts of others can overwhelm them. It takes patience and control to learn to control what one allows in. I’m afraid you allowed in too much.”

Dean’s breath was starting to even out, “Right. So did you find the block or the wall or whatever?” 

Dr. Mortis nodded, “I did.” 

Dean nodded, “Great, where is it?” 

The doctor rose his brow, “ In a closet.” 

Dean blinked, “A closet?” 

He nodded, “There was a brick wall in the closet of a room I assume to be yours, judging by the rock-and-roll posters.”

Dean nodded sheepishly, “Uh, yeah. That’s my room. How do you know what it looks like?” 

Dr. Mortis gave him a knowing smile, “The mind is a wondrous thing, Dean.” 

His expression turned serious once more, “Tell me, Dean, have you been experiencing any changes in your sexual urges?” 

Dean coughed a little, “My what?” 

“Sexual urges,” the man was way to straight-faced about this for Dean’s taste. “Most patients with walls in their closets are either struggling to come to terms with ‘unconventional sexual preferences’. For some this is homosexuality, for others it’s a desire to be dominated in the bedroom.” 

Dean’s face flushed, “I uh, don’t think it’s that last one.”

Dr. Mortis nodded, “Ah, so homosexuality then?” 

Dean shook his head fervently, “No! I’m not gay! I like girls! Like, REALLY like girls.” 

Dr. Mortis quirked his brow, “So you have never experienced desire towards men?”

Dean thought absently it was probably impossible for anyone to be redder than he probably was at that moment, “No, I mean...well that is to say I...um...”

The older man looked at him calmly, “It’s okay, Dean. I will not judge you.” 

Dean took a deep breath, the guy was a doctor, “I kissed a man last week.” 

Dr. Mortis didn’t seem surprised or disgusted, he didn’t even say anything, so Dean continued, “He uh, he was a customer at the garage where I had just started working. It was literally my first day on the job. Long story short we sort of ended up making out in his car.” 

The doctor was as straight-faced as ever as asked, “Did you enjoy it?” 

Dean looked away from the doctor and focused on the window instead, “I don’t know. It was different that kissing a girl. It was pleasant, and he was a really good kisser, but it wasn’t like this all-consuming lust or anything.” 

Dr.Motis hummed in acknowledgement, “I think you need to explore this further, Dean. Think about your attraction to this man and when you do, imagine yourself pounding a brick out of a wall. You will have to go piece by piece in order to pull it down, lest the entire thing collapse in on you.”

Dean looked at him incredulously, “Is that it then? Just think gay thoughts?” 

Dr. Mortis smiled in an amused sort of way, “For now, yes. I’d like to see you again next week. Same time.” 

Dean left his office feeling skeptical about the man’s professionalism.

:::::

The next day saw himself seated between Crowley and Balthazar while the GSA discussed nothing in particular. They had set up the desks in the room into a large mass of desks and that they all sat around. He wasn’t sure how he ended up in the spot he did but he decided he couldn’t cling onto Benny’s coat-tails when the other boy was across the room talking quietly with Kevin. 

“So, Dean, tell me about yourself, got any family?” Crowley smiled at him in a way that was a little disturbing.

“Uh, yeah. Mom, Dad, Brother; the package deal,” Dean rose his brow questioningly. 

Balthazar chuckled on his other side, leaning behind him to address the cat shift, “Leave the poor boy alone, Sweetheart. He’s not gay.” 

Crowley rolled his eyes, “Oh please, that wasn’t my intention. Not that I wouldn’t love to see you in my bed.” 

Dean glared at him, “Yeah, not happening.” 

Balthazar laughed at Crowley’s put-out face, “The flames not catching quite like you hoped?” 

Crowley scowled, “Watch it birdy, or I’ll sink my claws into you.”

Balthazar smirked, “I’ve got talons of my own you know.” 

Dean rolled his eyes as crowley let out a hiss, “What? Do you purr too?” 

“Only during sex,” Crowley winked.

Dean shook his head and turned his attention to Balthazar, “So do you have any family?” 

Crowley rolled his eyes behind him, “Oh very imaginative, Winchester.”

“Shut up, Crowley,” Dean didn’t even turn around. 

Balthazar chuckled, “It’s just me and my mom. I’m an only child and my Dad flew the proverbial coop when I was nine.”

Dean frowned sympathetically, “That sucks, man.”

Balthazar shrugged, “It’s fine. It was a while ago. We still lived in England then. It wasn’t until I turned 14 that mum decided it was time to migrate.” 

Dean nodded, bird shifts were known to immigrate more than other shifts, there flighty natures didn’t due well in cages. 

“I grew up in England too,” Crowley cut in, “Well, that is to say my mother shipped me off to boarding school in London when I was seven and then never came back for me. I was adopted by this old mountain goat, Cain Adamson. He’s a bit worn around the edges but he puts up with me. He moved us out here when I turned ten. I suppose even eight years isn't enough to get rid of the accent.” 

Dean nodded, he didn't particularly care about Crowley, but it was information he supposed.

Balthazar shook his head, “I’ve met your ‘father’. He’s a little more than just ‘worn around the edges’. He’s practically insane. I swear, that goat could make a lion shift shake in it’s fur.” 

Crowley shrugged, “Probably.”

Dean made a mental note never to meet this Cain dude. 

“Hey, Dean!” Dean looked over at Gabriel who was sitting on Balthazar’s left, “Aren't you going to ask me about my family?” 

Dean rolled his eyes and sighed, “Fine. Do tell.”

Gabriel laughed around the sucker in his mouth, “I’m a bastard son.”

Dean frowned, “What?” 

Gabriel slid his chair closer to Dean’s, “Apparently my mom used to be the secretary for a CEO this big fortune five company. She’s a bit of a sexual deviant, you see. Runs in the family.” 

Dean groaned when Gabriel winked at him and leaned his arms on the back of Dean’s chair, “So she fucked the guy and nine months later wound up with me. Of course, the minute she got pregnant she bolted to Lawrence so she could ‘Raise me right.’ Whatever that means.” 

Crowley laughed, “It mean’s she didn’t so a very good job.” 

Gabriel flicked the cat in the nose and smirked when he hissed. 

Dean rolled his eyes, “Fascinating. That’s a really great backstory you've got there.” 

Gabriel smiled, “It’s one of the many things that makes me so charming. Girls and boys love a good sob story.” 

Crowley scoffed, “How is that a sob story? Your mother’s a whore, big deal.” 

Gabriel shrugged, “It works though.”

Dean sighed and Balthazar grinned at the two bickering guys. 

Dean was just to reprimand Gabriel for a rather unseemly comment about neutering Crowley when a hand appeared on his shoulder. 

Dean looked up to see Benny standing there, “Hey, Brother. You looked like you could use some rescuing.” 

Dean rolled his eyes but smiled, getting up to follow Benny outside of the portable, “I could have taken care of myself you know.” 

Benny shrugged, “That’s what friends are for right? To get you out of awkward situations.”

Dean smiled, “Thanks. Those three were driving me kinda nuts.” 

Benny laughed, “That cat boy looked like he wan’t to shag the living hell out of your poor soul.” 

Dean frowned, “Yeah, Crowley gives me the creeps.” 

Benny smiled down at him, “So do you wanna go back in or should we just take a walk?”

Dean thought about it for a minute. All his stuff was still inside, and there was maybe only twenty minutes until lunch ended. But he really didn’t want to go back in there and sit next to the peanut gallery. 

“Let me just grab my bag and we can walk around the back forty or something,” Dean didn’t wait for an answer as he popped back inside and grabbed his bag.

“Where are going, Dean?” Charlie asked from he spot next to Gilda. She had been spending so much time with the other girl that Dean had hardly seen her all week. 

“Me and Benny are just going to go for a walk. I’ll text you later,” Dean slung his bag over his shoulder and grabbed Benny’s from the hook near the door. 

“Oh,” Charlie smiled, “Have fun!” 

Dean waved and stepped out to meet Benny, “Let’s go then.” 

He handed Benny his Bag and the made off. They walked in silence across the football field and towards the edge of the woods beyond them, Benny just one step ahead the entire time. 

As they headed into the trail that lead through the underbrush Dr. Mortis’ words rang through his head, ‘explore this further’. 

Dean stopped just on the edge of the wood, “Hey, Benny?” 

The other boy turned around, “Yeah, Brother?” 

Dean wasn't very good with the whole ‘feelings thing so it was about an awkward minute before he spoke again, “How do you know that you’re uh...how did you find out you were gay? Or Pansexual or whatever?” 

Benny’s eyes widened in surprise, clearly not expecting that question, “Remember the girl I said I had a thing with that summer at the yacht club?” 

Dean nodded, “Yeah, the one who was all over you. You said you didn't know what to think of her at first.” 

Benny gave him a look, “Maria was actually a Marius.”

Dean blinked, “Oh.”

Benny sighed and laughed, “Yeah. Make’s the story a little different doesn't it?” 

Dean nodded, “A little.” 

Benny chuckled, “Why are you asking me this, Dean?”

Dean laughed to cover up the awkwardness settling in his stomach, “My new therapist thinks I have a mental block that’s keeping me from shifting. He suggested it might be repressed homosexality.” 

Benny smirked, “Well you can come off a bit butch.” 

Dean frowned, “I’m serious, Benny.” 

Benny frowned at his friend. Dean looked like he was on the verge of a breakdown, “I’m sorry, Brother. Look, what did the shrink say?”

Dean sighed, “To think about. I guess he thinks I need more experience or something and the magic wall will disappear. But I’m not even sure I am gay!” 

Benny raised his brow, “More experience? What experiences have you had?” 

Dean flushed, “Well, that is...Look, I wasn't going to tell you until I worked it all out myself, but I...well I kissed a man on Saturday.”

Benny blinked, surprise written all over his face, “A man?”

Dean let out a frustrated groan, “Yes, a man! He drove me to the garage after I fixed his fucking car and then I made out with him in the back of the scrap yard.” 

Benny tried not to let his amusement show, “So did you like it?” 

Dean scowled, “That’s what the doctor asked! And for your information, yes it was enjoyable. But I don't have the sudden urge to suck dick just because one guy in a nice suit with a nice car happened to be a really good kisser.”

Benny placed his hands on Dean’s shoulders, “Calm down.” 

Dean was about to yell again but Benny made a small shushing sound, “You have to let it go, Brother.” 

Dean sighed, “He gave me his number. I've been brooding over it all week.” 

Benny sighed, “Your shrink said you needed more experience right?” 

Dean nodded, “Yeah but...I don’t want to get it from a guy I just met once.”

Benny raised his brow, “You’d rather someone you knew?”

Dean tried not to think to hard about the direction this conversation was heading. He looked at Benny’s lips unconsciously, “Yeah.” 

Benny smiled, “How about me?” 

Dean’s face was red by now, “Benny, I don’t know. I-”

“Just a kiss, Dean. It doesn't have to be more than that,” Benny interrupted, his large hands rubbing soothing circles on Dean’s shoulders. 

Dean didn't want to say yes. He didn't want to kiss his best friend and have it ruin their relationship. He was afraid he wouldn't like it and this whole gay thing was being thrown way out of proportion. But he was even more afraid that he’d like it too much. How could he look at Benny again if he knew that he wanted more?

Despite his better judgement though, curiosity won out, “Okay.” 

Dean made a small whining noise as Benny stepped forward, one of his arms circling Dean’s waist and the other sliding up to gently pull his chin toward’s him. There was no space between their bodies as Benny place a soft, barely-there kiss on Dean’s lips and pulled away. 

Dean crossed his eyes and frowned, “What was that?” 

Benny chuckled, “A kiss you dumbass.” 

Dean frowned, “Cameron Porter kisses better than you. And she had no skill at all.”

Benny chuckled and Dean barely had time to react before Benny slammed him against a nearby tree, his lips smashing against Dean’s fiercely. 

Dean gasped against him as Benny slipped his tongue inside his mouth. It felt like the other boy was melting into him as he slipped his hand over Dean’s thigh, hiking it up. 

Dean pulled away with a sharp breath, “Benny, what are you- oh, fuck.” 

Benny had lifted Dean up entirely, his legs now circling Benny’s waist as he sucked a bruise onto Dean’s neck. Dean moaned, his arms grabbing onto Benny’s shoulders as he attempted to keep track of his thoughts.

‘Punching a break from the wall,’ the words echoed faintly in Dean’s head but he couldn't be bothered with them the moment Benny’s rough hands moved from Dean’s thighs to grab at his backside. 

Dean made that same high pitched whine again as Benny abandoned his neck in favour of his mouth again. Benny was a damn good kisser, he had really been holding out on him.

Benny opened his mouth against Dean, allowing him to explore his mouth instead. Dean pressed his tongue against Benny’s teeth, feeling the abnormally sharp canines against the soft flesh. Benny groaned against him and rolled his hips upwards, it was the bulge against his ass that had Dean snapping out of his daze.

He broke of the kiss and pushed Benny back slightly until he placed Dean back on the ground. Benny looked away sheepishly, “Sorry, Dean. Got a little carried away.” 

Dean panted heavily against the tree, “It’s okay.”

But it wasn’t. Dean had been enjoying it until he had realized what exactly was in his friend’s pants. He looked at Benny’s pants, the erection he had been sporting seemed to have gone down considerably. Dean only felt a little bad for killing his friend’s mood.

“We’re okay right?” Beny asked hesitantly.

Dean nodded, “Yeah. We’re okay.” 

Benny smiled and sighed in relief, “Good. I’m not prepared to start the journey of looking for a new best friend.” 

Dean laughed, some of the tension that had settled between them fading, “You can’t get rid of me so easily.”

Benny smirked, “So how was it then? That enough experience?” 

Dean furrowed his brows, “Well, you are really fucking good at that.” 

Benny laughed and winked at him playfully, “Plenty of practice.” 

Dean rolled his eyes. “But I don’t think I’m gay. I really enjoyed it, yeah, but the instant I realized you had a dick I just froze up. It doesn't exactly scream gay.” 

Benny smirked, “Dean, there is no way you’re not at least bi. Not with the way you were moaning right now. No straight man get’s that worked up over another man just kissing them. Even if they are as good as I am.” 

Dean frowned, he wasn't so sure. 

The chime of the school bell rang through the field to reach their ears and then started to make their way back to school in a comfortable silence. Dean was just happy that nothing was going to irreparably change between them. 

Somewhere in Dean’s mind he could feel the drop of a brick from a wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Horray! Denny kisses! In case you guys didn't clue into it Dr.Mortis is Death. Mortis like death in Latin and Tod is death in German.


	9. Scrap Cars and Glass Slippers

Dean was bent at the knees; sweat dripping off his forehead as he struggled to get his grip on the hood of the car. His breath came in shallow puffs as he pressed his shoulders against it. 

“Come on! Harder, dammit!” Dean yelled out.

“Don't you sass me boy! This junker is heavy when your bones are as old as mine,” Bobby groaned in frustration as the rusty old car they were attempting to push into the garage to scavenge for parts refused to budge under their combined weight.

Dean sighed, “We need a horse shift working here.” 

Bobby grunted his agreement. Horse shifters were prized in the labour and farming industries, though many were also known to gravitate towards careers in race-car driving.

Rufus chuckled from his spot on the porch, his ass parked in an old rocking chair and nowhere near helping them. The hound dog had broke his arm in a bar fight the night before so he couldn't do any useful labour, “Put your legs into!” 

Bobby threw the man an aggravated face and shoved hard on the old junker, pushing it a couple more inches just to prove a point. Dean rolled his eyes with a smile. The two of them were quite the buddy comedy duo.

“Um, excuse me? Are you the owners?” Dean peered over the top of the car to see a familiar lanky figure standing on the dry dirt with his arms around a gorgeous blonde. 

Dean smiled, “Garth!”

Garth blinked at the sound of his name before he noticed Dean, “Oh! Dean!” He smiled brightly, “I didn't know you worked here.” 

Bobby straightened out his back with a groan but Dean ignored him, “Yeah. Well, I just started a week ago. I've been working saturdays and three evenings a week.”

Garth smiled brightly, “That’s wonderful! Part time jobs can provide a source of extra income and a steady routine that young adults often lack outside of a school environment!” 

Dean chuckled, “Uh, yeah I guess?” 

Bobby looked at Garth quizzically, “So you're Gath huh? Dean’s teacher?” 

Garth beamed impossibly brighter at finding out his students mention him outside of class, “Yes I am! Oh, and this is my wife, Bess. Love of my life.” 

Garth gazed lovingly at Bess and she smiled adoringly back. “Been married five years now,” She placed a kiss on his cheek and Dean fought the urge to gag at the sappiness of it all.

“Uh-huh...so you got car troubles or what?” Rufus was no nonsense from where he was sitting on the porch. 

Garth laughed, “Yeah. My Ranchero has busted tail light I need replaced.”

Bess made a frustrated sound, “Some punk took a baseball bat to it while where at the Royals game on Thursday.”

Rufus shook his head, “Damn kids.”

“Hey!” Dean said, sarcastically offended.

Bobby nodded, “Yeah. That shouldn't be too difficult to replace.”

Garth smiled brightly, “Wonderful! I try to keep it as close to original as possible. It’s a ‘78 you see.” 

Dean furrowed his brows; what a gross car to want to keep mint.” 

Bobby grunted, “I don’t know if I have any ‘78’s kicking around the yard but I have a ‘79 that should do the trick.” 

Bess smiled at him, “Thank you so much. How long do you think it should take?” 

Bobby shrugged his shoulders, “Maybe an hour or two. Bring the car around and we’ll take a look at it.” 

Bess nodded, “Alright. Honey why don’t you wait here and I’ll go bring the car ‘round.”

Garth smiled sweetly, “Thanks apple dumplin’.”

He handed her the keys from his pocket and watched he walk off with a wistful expression. He turned to look at the other men with a dreamy sigh, “Isn't she somethin’?”

Dean laughed, “Garth, you are whipped man!” 

Bobby chuckled with him when Garth blushed a deep, all over red.

Rufus sniffed the air lightly, “You a dog right?” 

Dean would never stop being amazed by that man’s sense of smell. Being a blood hound, Rufus had this uncanny ability to smell almost exactly what a person’s shift was. Most dog shifts had a similar, more muted sense of smell, and were no where near on par with Rufus. Dean thought maybe it was the copious amounts of alcohol he consumed that helped keep the old dog’s sinuses 100% clear.

Garth blinked and smiled, “Yes I am. How did you know?”

Rufus tapped his nose with his good hand, “Blood hound.”

Garth beamed brightly, Dean imagined that his tail would have been wagging if he was in his shift. 

Bobby nodded gruffly, “We’re all dogs here then. Well, except Dean of course.” 

Dean frowned, he didn't need reminding. 

Garth smiled at Bobby, “Would you mind?” 

Bobby shook his head. It was something Dean had observed with his family and other dog shifts in general; it was Garth asking permission to smell them. It was a bit strange in Dean’s mind, but to dog shifts it made perfect sense. Sammy had explained it as a sort of photographic memory. A way of being able to pick out other dogs from the crowd in times of need. It was a predisposed instinct that many dogs continued to add to this ‘photo album’ in their minds. 

Dean heard the twin cracks of bone as both Garth and Bobby shifted into their dog forms, Garth’s long and tall body a vast difference to Bobby’s bulkier one. As a caravan hound, Garth had short, creamy fur and a long, wispy tail. Bobby in contrast had thick, greying fur in the standard pattern of a german shepherd, his left ear flopping just a bit wear Dean knew the old mechanic was slightly deaf in his human form. 

Dean watched in silent amusement as Garth trotted happily towards Bobby and nuzzled his face into the other Dog’s neck. Dean forced himself not to laugh as Bobby sat back on his haunches with a rather bizarre look to his canine face. 

Rufus grunted from his spot on the porch, “I’d shift down too, but the doctor says I can’t walk on all fours till the cast comes off.” 

Garth yipped at him and Rufus rolled his eyes. That was another thing about dog shifts, they seemed to understand each other even when they were out of their shifts. Dogs were pretty amazing actually. 

Cats could do it too according to some book he had to read in Garth’s class. But Dean didn't think they were quite as amazing. 

Dean actually did laugh when Garth rolled over on his stomach and stretched out his neck for Bobby. The old shepherd looked at him with a look the could only be described as exasperated. Dean shook his head, “Don’t be rude Bobby. Didn't they teach you doggy etiquette in puppy school?” 

Bobby huffed at Dean but buried his muzzle into Garth’s neck anyway, adding the eccentric teacher to his mental catalogue of the world’s dogs. 

Garth yipped excitedly as Bess rounded the corner in the shitty car they drove. Dean groaned at the shape it was in. Original wasn't the word he would have used to describe the brown-coloured heap of metal. But to each their own he supposes. 

Garth rolled back over and bounded over to greet his wife at the car. Bobby walked back a bit and with a flurry of gravel, turned back into a man. 

Bess stepped out of the car and gave Garth a stroke on the head when he leapt up onto her legs. She ignored his antics as he sniffed around her feet and addressed Bobby instead, “Well here it is.” 

Dean wandered to the back end of the car and Bobby followed. He shrugged his shoulders; the damage wasn't too bad. It would be easily fixed. (The model of the car, however, would always be beyond helping.)

“Give me an hour and It’ll be good to go. You can hang out in the waiting room if you want, or Rufus can take you somewhere, lord knows he’s not much use elsewhere,” Bobby began prodding the tail light and Rufus shouted profanity at him. 

Bess nodded, “That would be great actually, I have an appointment in half an hour that I can’t miss. I had been planning on using the fold-up bike I’ve got in the trunk, but a ride would be wonderful.” 

Garth shifted in swirl of leaves beside his wife, “I can stay though. It makes no sense to leave if it will take such a short time.” 

Bobby nodded, “Alright. I’ll have Dean show you to the waiting room. Rufus! Get your sorry ass in gear!” 

Rufus flipped Bobby the finger but pushed himself out of the rocking chair. Bess threw her car keys to Garth befor ruth led her away to the old pickup they used to drop customers off places.

Garth smiled at Dean as Bobby wandered off into the yard, likely to find that ‘79 he had mentioned early. 

Dean looked at Garth and shrugged, “Follow me I guess.”

Garth nodded and Dean lead him through the garage to the small area near the door where two mismatched couches sat for customers to watch the ancient bunny-ear TV that sat on an even older wood stool in the corner. 

“Well, here you are. The tv only gets three channels, PBS, FOX, and Disney; so knock yourself out,” Dean smiled and handed Garth the remote to the tv. 

Garth thanked him and sank into the dusty green couch. Dean remembered napping on the couch as a child; his five year old self exhausted after a day of following Bobby around the garage with a tool belt that was three times to big for his small body. He smiled at the nostalgic memory before plopping down beside his teacher.

“Don’t you have to work?” Garth questioned as he flicked the channel on the tv to Disney. Cinderella was playing. 

Dean shook his head, “Nah. We were just going to take apart scrappers today. You’re the only customer we have right now and Bobby works better alone; he won’t need my help.” 

Garth nodded, “I see.” 

The silence that followed was awkward and Dean found himself focusing on the mean cat-shifter, Lucifer, that pranced around the clean floor with sooty paws as Cinderella glared at him. An image of the Lucifer he knew passed unbidden through his mind, and with him came a thought of Michael. He still hadn't called the man. 

Before he could get too far into his thoughts Garth broke the silence, “So what’s new with you Dean? Have you been finding your course work difficult? I’ve tried very hard to be accommodating for you.” 

Dean glanced over at the lanky man who’s face was one of genuine nervousness. Dean smiled encouragingly, “No, it’s fine, Garth. I can do most of the work without a problem.” 

 

Garh smiled, “That’s great! Actually, I was going to talk to you about this on Monday, but since you’re here I’ll ask you now.”

Dean raised his brow and gestured for Garth to continue.

“We have a new student coming on Thursday and I was wondering if you could be a sort of guide to him. You know, help him get to know the layout of the school, show him the ropes. I thought may you two would be able to get along well,” Garth smiled. 

Dean frowned, “Why? Because I’m a shiftless wonder and he’s the awkward new kid? Bonding over mutual isolation?” 

Garth shook his head adamantly, clearly distressed, “No no! Not at all! I know that you joined the GSA recently and Castiel is my nephew. He was having trouble with bullying about his sexuality which is why my sister moved them to Lawrence. They know that our school has a good GSA and because you have the same courses I thought you would be the best choice to help him get settled in.” 

Dean looked a little surprised. Garth wanted him to show his gay nephew around the school? Now he felt a little bad for assuming. He sighed, “Sorry Garth. I can show him around.” 

Garth smiled brightly, a small sigh of relief following it, “Thank you, Dean. I’m sure Castiel will be grateful.” 

Dean nodded and the silence returned. They passed the rest of the hour watching Cinderella in awkwardness, Dean’s attention drifting between the old children’s movie and his own swimming thoughts. 

As the credits rolled up on the screen, Bobby entered the garage and motioned for Garth to pay at the counter. Garth payed in crumpled bills and a sack of change and drove off with a grin and a wave. 

Dean spent the rest of the day pulling apart cars before heading home. He let his mind continue to wander as he drove. Was it just him or did his entire life seem to be getting more and more queer? 

He tapped his fingers tap along to the beat of Guns and Roses ‘Sweet Child of Mine’. He was thinking about grabbing a burger on the way home. It was six o'clock and his family had likely already eaten. 

“She’s got the eyes of the bluest skies,” Dean sang along now as he made his way towards the city line. The garage was a couple miles out of town so it would take him about half an hour to make it home. 

“And pray for the thunder to pass me by,” Dean glanced at the business card on his dashboard. He hadn't moved it since his encounter with Michael. He sighed; he should at least call him and tell him he’s not interested. That’s what he should do, but what he wanted to do was see the man again. What a complicated situation.

“Where do we go now, sweet child of mine?” Dean sang along with the last line of the song and made up his mind. He would see Michael one last time, for reasons he wasn't sure of, and then end the anxiety that had been bubbling in his stomach. 

Hold the Line drifted through the radio as he pulled up to the Roadhouse. He hopped out of his car, Michael’s business card in one pocket and his wallet in the other. 

The bell above the door jingled to announce his arrival. The old bar and grill was quiet as usual; the only customers being some sloppy drunks in the back booth and a woman he knew to be a stripper sitting at the bar with a her nose buried in a thick law textbook.

“Hey, Nadine,” Dean smiled at the girl as he sat down in the seat beside her. 

Nadine looked up from her book and smiled, “Hey, sugar.” 

“How’s pre-law?” Dean asked curiously. 

She shrugged, “Can’t complain. I don’t have any loans to pay so that’s a big bonus.”

Dean nodded, “I bet.” 

She smiled and turned back to her book. She was a regular here, so Dean had talked to her a couple of times when he came. 

“Dean!” A happy voice rang through the bar as Jo Harvelle walked out of the back, “Haven't seen you in a while. You should come by more often.” 

Dean smiled, “You know me; too busy doing nothing.” 

Jo chuckled, “What can I get for you? The usual?” 

Dean nodded, “Yep! Double cheeseburger, extra bacon, extra-” 

“Extra pickles,” Jo smiled, “I know the order, Dean.” 

Dean grinned as she wandered back into the kitchen. Jo was a good friend. Her mother, Ellen, knew their Dad since college, so they had grown up going on camping trips together. Jo was already in university, so they didn't see much of each other anymore. 

Jo emerged a minute later with Ellen trailing behind her, a tray of food in her hands, “Dean. Tell your father to give me a call would you? The damn dog won’t pick up his phone.” 

Dean chuckled as Ellen scowled grumpily, “I’ll let him know.” 

Ellen smiled at him and patted his check from across the counter, “Good, boy.” 

Dean grinned, a little whine escaping his throat. Ellen raised her brow at the noise and Jo laughed. Dean groaned in embarrassment, “Sorry. I've been going through shift symptoms for the past while.” 

Ellen smiled, “That’s great. ‘Bought time you got your shift. Though I’m not sure what you're going to be with a whiney noise like that.”

Jo smirked as she pulled a bottle of root beer out of the bar’s fridge and placed it in front of him, “He'll probably a whiney little mutt.” 

Dean looked at her pointedly, mock offended, “I’ll have you know that I’m nocturnal. So I’m not a dog.”

Jo shrugged, “Maybe you're a wild dog.” 

Ellen hummed in thought, “Hyena? No...not really you.” 

Jo tapped her fingers on the counter as she placed the burger and fries in front of Dean and he eagerly tucked into it, “A jackal maybe? A coyote?” 

Ellen shook her head, “Too aggressive. Dean’s softer than that.” 

Dean furrowed his brows at being called ‘soft.’ Way to boost the confidence in his masculinity.

Jo hummed just like her mother, “A wolf then? Are they nocturnal? I think they’re nocturnal.” 

Dean shook his head and swallowed his food, “No, not a wolf. I don’t have pack instincts.” 

Ellen shrugged, “Beats me then. You'll just have to wait and see then.” 

Dean nodded, “Shift MD said I could be a badger...but I highly doubt it. I've met badgers, I'm nothing like them.” 

Ellen scoffed, “Shift MD doesn’t tell you shit. I did it once and it said I was a salmon. I'm a grizzly bear, I eat salmon for breakfast, I don’t turn into one.” 

Dean laughed, “I can't picture you as a salmon.” 

Jo smiled and hugged her mom from the side, “You'll always be my mama bear.” 

Ellen smiled at her and ran her hands through Jo’s hair, “To the moon and back, Baby Girl.” 

Dean finished up his food and threw a twenty on the counter, “Thanks for the food, guys.” 

Ellen nodded and pocketed the bill, “No problem, kid. Tell you mom I said hi.”

Jo nodded, “And bring Sam next time!” 

Dean chuckled and nodded, “Sure thing.” 

He looked over at the pay phone hanging on the wall near the back of the bar, “I’m just going to make a call and then head out.” 

Ellen waved dismissively as she went back to work, cleaning the counter, “Take your time.” 

Dean nodded and hopped off the bar stool, making his way to the pay phone. He took Michael’s business card out of his pocket and took a deep breath. He dialed the numbers fast and sure, his stomach churning in nervousness. He almost regretted eating before doing this.

“Hello?” Michael picked up after two rings. “May I ask who this is? I don't recognize the number.”

Dean took a breath, “Uh, Michael? It’s me...uh...Dean Winchester. We um...you kissed me in the scrap yard?” 

A pause and then happy recognition, “Dean! It’s good to hear from you! I thought you might have lost interest.” 

Dean chuckled awkwardly, “Uh no...just...nervous I guess...” 

Michael chuckled, “Well that’s okay. What’s up?” 

Dean leaned up against the wall, the business card suffering the wrath of his nervous fingers, “I was wondering if you...well I was hoping that you would...umm...would you like to go on a date with me?” 

Michael’s voice was calm and sincere, “I’d love to Dean. How does next Friday sound? I can pick you up somewhere; take you for dinner, maybe a movie?” 

Dean nodded, even though he knew Michael couldn't see it, “That sounds good. But uh, could we maybe meet there instead?” 

Michael’s voice continued to be calm and gentlemanly, “That’s alright, Dean. Are you calling from your cell phone?” 

Dean shook his head, “No, it’s a pay phone. I can give you my cell number though...if you want it.”

“That might be a good idea, that way I can text you the address of the restaurant. I had lunch at this great little place the other night and it made me think of you. If you're open to trying it that is,” Michael sounded hopefully and it was actually really sweet,

“Uh, yeah sure. That sounds good,” Dean was happy his nervousness was starting to slip away. 

“I look forward to seeing you again, Dean,” Michael’s voice sounded all smiley and happy; it made Dean smile. 

“Yeah, me too...to see you...not me...yeah,” smooth move, Winchester. Dean inwardly groaned at his own awkwardness. 

“I'll text you later, Dean. I would talk more, but I have a call in ten minutes and have to prepare,” Michael replied, unphased by Dean’s fumbling. 

“Alright. Later then...” Dean answered as a goodbye.

“Good night, Dean,” Micheal hung up the phone.

Dean placed the pay phone back on the receiver and headed out of the bar. He had a big goofy smile on his face as he headed home; somewhere in his mind another brick dropped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the cheesy fake-out the beginning but it amused me to now end when I wrote it. (plus I did warn you it would be a cheesy fic)
> 
> Please leave comments! They make me SUPER HAPPY!!!!


	10. My Big Gay Jewish Lover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end for Hebrew Translations.

“Do you want butter?” Charlie asked as she dug around in her Avenger’s purse. 

“Of course, I want butter! What am i? Some sort of savage?” Dean placed his hand over his heart.

Charlie laughed as the three of them stood in line at the movie theatre on Tuesday night. Movies were always cheaper on Tuesday so they often ended up there when homework wasn’t too heavy. 

“I’m sorry, how foolish of me to ask,” Charlie rolled her eyes and smiled. 

Dean nodded his head firmly and Benny chuckled, “You could skip the butta’ but I doubt it would taste as good.” 

Charlie shrugged, “Well, if you’re planning on dumping a shit lot of candy in it like last time then get your own. I swear I could feel my teeth rotting last time.”

Dean waved his hand and in a grand gesture, “That’s the whole point.” 

Benny smiled at him in affection, obvious to Charlie and oblivious to Dean, “I’m with Charlie on this one, Brother.” 

Dean shrugged, “Hey, more me right?” 

The person in front of the left the counter and Charlie ordered popcorn for her and Benny to share, “Oh, and a cheery coke too.”

Charlie turned back to Dean and Benny as the guy working the counter went about filling the jumbo bag with salty, buttery, amazing popcorn. Dean didn't know why, but theatre popcorn was always 100 times better than anything he made at home.

“So did you hear about Carol?” Charlie had that look on her face that meant she was about to dish out gossip.

“That shiftless freshman?” Benny raised his brow. Of course everyone knew that Carol was shiftless. She had made a big scene about it at a school assembly when school started. It was pretty embarrassing. Dean remembered wishing -in that moment- that the girl shifted soon, because that was a nightmare. 

“Well I hear she finally shifted,” Charlie smirked. “She’s a killer whale.” 

Dean laughed, “Wow, that’s not at all surprising. Girl is cute, but vicious.”

Benny chuckled, “How’s that gonna work? I mean, Lawrence don't exactly have the best sea facilities in the world.”

Charlie shrugged, “I don’t know. I think her family might move her to the coast.”

That was the thing about the sea-shifters, they had strong instincts to spend time in the water, so if you couldn't fit in a home tank or go to a sea-shift facility that provided larger, communal tanks, then you had to move to the coast. 

Dean frowned, “That would suck. Having to move just because you can’t shift in your home.”

Charlie nodded, “Yeah. But it’s reality for a lot of people. We're lucky that our backyard has such a big field for Chuck. He spends most of his time between books just wandering around. He’d go crazy without it.” 

Dean laughed, “If he’s sane now, I'd hate to seem in a bad mood.”

Charlie rolled her eyes, “He speared a scarecrow on his horns once.”

Benny’s eyes widened, “Where on earth did that buffalo find a scarecrow in the first place?” 

Charlie shrugged, “It’s not like there aren't fields around. My uncle owns a wheat field just outside of Topeka.” 

Benny nodded and motioned for Charlie to turn around when the cashier placed her found on the counter, “Anything else?” 

Charlie shook her head, “Nope. That’s it.” 

The guy punched something into the till and it made a little dinging noise, “$17.67”

Charlie handed him the twenty and told him to keep the change. She turned to Dean, “We’ll get seats and meet you there, okay?”

Dean nodded, “Yeah, okay.” 

She smiled and grabbed Benny’s hand, dragging him away. 

Dean stepped up to the counter and looked up at the menu board, “Yeah, I’ll get a medium popcorn, extra butter, and a root beer. Oh, and give me a package of M&M’s, a package of twizzlers, and a bag of gummy stars.” 

The guy raised his eyebrow at the amount of candy but Dean didn't give a shit what the oily-faced kid thought about his dietary decisions. He went about getting Dean’s food while he puled out his wallet and threw two twenties on the counter. He’d had this order before so he knew it cost 37.60.

“Dean? Is that you?” Dean turned around and came face-to-face with Aaron Bass.

“It is you! Whatcha doin here all alone?” Aaron smirked at him. There was a massive guy standing behind him, an uninterested expression on his face and a black Kippah on his head.

Dean sighed, “I’m not alone. Charlie and Benny are in the theatre.” 

Aaron grinned, “The rest of the Destiny’s child couldn’t wait?” 

Dean gave him an amused smile, “Does this mean I’m Beyonce?” 

Aaron’s eyes widened comically in amusement, “Don’t flatter yourself, Dean. Arrogance isn't a good look for you.” 

Dean smirked, “I think I’m adorable.” 

“Stop flirting with this Gamad,” the big guy behind Aaron grunted and wrapped his arm around the much smaller boy’s frame.

“Yeah yeah. Leh timzoz,” Aaron growled, annoyed. 

“Maybe later,” the big guy raised one eyebrow, but other than that his expression stayed neutral. Aaron rolled his eyes but patted him on the shoulder.

Dean stared at them for a minute when the cashier handed him his food, “Thanks.” 

He stuffed the candy bags into his jacket pockets and picked up the drink and popcorn before turning back to Aaron and the mysterious boulder of a man. 

“So this is...” Dean fished for a name. 

Aaron grinned, “Oh, this is my big gay jewish lover. Otherwise known as Golan.”

Dean’s eyes widened a little. There had to be at least a two feet height distance between the two of them. The dude was at least 6’5”. 

“How does that even work? Do you like, get a step stool or something?” Dean chuckled but stopped when Golan legit, fucking growled at him. 

Aaron smirked, “He doesn't like you.” 

Dean swallowed, he didn't feel like getting beat up today, “Yeah, sorry man. So what’s your shift anyway? It’s gotta be crazy, with your size and all...” He was curious but he didn't want to get punch for insinuating anything.

Golan grunted, his arm tightening a little further around Aaron as the three of them moved out of the way of the concession counter. He could practically wrap the entire thing around Aaron’s soft waist, “I am a Kodiak.” 

Dean grunted in amusement, “It suits you.” 

He rose one brow, “Thank you.” 

Aaron rolled his eyes, “Come on you big teddy bear, let’s go get our seats before the movie starts.”

“Alright, Neshama,” Golan was rubbing his large hand over Aaron’s chest affectionately. 

Aaron blushed, “Oh my god, you fucking sap. I’ll see you later, Dean. If I don’t go know, clay-head over here will molest me before the commercials even start.”

Golan grunted and Dean laughed, “Have fun then?” 

Aaron shook his head and they left. Dean chuckled as heard Aaron scolding his boyfriend about PDA.

Dean made his was over to the movie theatre that Charlie and Benny were with and sat down next to them in the big plush seats of the vip cinema. They had splurged on a platinum membership when they realised it would save them money with the amount of time they spent there. 

“Hey. What took you so long?” Benny looked relieved and worried all at once and Dean found it odd. 

He shrugged, “I ran into Aaron and his massive boyfriend.”

Charlie smiled, “Yeah, he told me he met someone at hebrew school or something. He said he was like this really spirtual guy. Which is surprising considering I know for a fact that Aaron uses his Torah for rolling joints.” 

Dean laughed, “Yeah, he was speaking hebrew to the guy too. Guess he’s a good influence on the guy.” 

Benny chuckled, “That’s only mildly surprising.” 

Charlie grinned at the two of them. They had arrived early and still had ten minutes before the commercials would even start, “So speaking of good influences, guess who’s got a date with a swan?” 

Dean beamed at his friend, “No way! High five man! Gilda is a babe!” 

Charlie laughed and high-fived Dean from across Benny’s lap, “Thanks! And God, I know. She’s perfect.”

She sighed dreamily and Benny ruffled her hair with his palm, “Congrats, Red.”

Charlie smiled, “So what about you two?” 

Dean furrowed his brows, “What do you mean?” 

Charlie rolled her eyes fondly, “How are your love lives going?” 

Dean chuckled awkwardly, “About that...” 

Charlie raised her brows, “Dean?”

Benny put a comforting hand on Dean’s shoulder and gave him a comforting smile that Dean returned. 

Charlie gasped suddenly, “Oh my god! You assholes! Why didn't you tell me! I mean, I suspected but I didn't think Dean would get over his internalized self-denial so quickly! I'm so happy for you!” 

Charlie threw her arms around the two of them and kissed both their cheeks. Dean’s face was riddled with confusion, “What on earth are you talking about?” 

Charlie pulled away with a smile, “You two are dating now, right?” 

Benny opened his mouth to speak but Dean threw his hands up, “Woah! No, no! We...” he gestured between himself and Benny, “Are not dating.”

Charlie blushed, clearly embarrassed, “Oh. Shit. Now I feel really stupid. Benny you have to take away my gay card now, I think my radar is broken. I was sure I was feeling some sort of sexual tension between the two of you.” 

Dean blushed furiously and looked away. Charlie’s eyes widened and Benny chuckled. 

“Oh wow. So something did happen then?” Charlie’s voice was calm and reassuring. 

Benny shrugged, “We made out in the woods.”

“Benny! Don’t tell her that!” Dean’s face was red as he protested. 

Benny chuckled, “Sorry brother, but you know she would have found out anyway.” 

Dean huffed, resigned because Charlie had ways of getting information that was spectacular and scary, “I guess.”   
Charlie hummed in thought, “So...are you gay then? Or was it just experimental?” 

Dean shrugged, not looking at either of them as he replied, “I don’t know. My new shift therapist thinks I might be. He says I need to work on ‘breaking down the wall one brick at a time’. He thinks if I have more experience then I can accept myself and my shift will happen. Or...something like that.” 

“He kissed a man last week aparently. Made out with him in the scrap yard,” Benny filled in, “He didn't want more experience with a stranger so I offered to help out.” 

Dean was probably indistinguishable from a tomato at this point. “He had a nice car,” he mumbled.

Charlie laughed, “Of course he did. Cars turn you on more than sex itself.” 

Dean smiled despite himself, “Oh shut up.” 

Charlie grinned, “So what where you going to say before...you know, before I assumed you and Benny were sticking it to each other.” 

Dean coughed on air, “Oh my god, don’t ever say ‘sticking it to each other’ again.” 

Charlie laughed, “You’re such a prude for a guy who keeps a stack of ‘Busty Asian Beauties’ under his bed.”

Dean frowned, “How do you know about that?” 

Benny chuckled, “Dean, the whole world knows about that.” 

Dean held up his hands in mock hurt, “Well I’m sorry that I’m not quite at the super gay level yet.” 

Charlie smiled, “So you admit you’re at least Bi?” 

Dean rolled his eyes, “Eat your popcorn, Bradbury.” 

Charlie chuckled, “Answer my other question then.”

Dean sighed, “I have a date on Friday. With Michael. The uh...the guy I made out with in the scrap yard.”

Charlie smirked at him, “GAYYYY!”

Dean stuck his tongue out at her but Charlie left him alone as the commercials rolled up on screen. 

Dean set about pouring his gummy stars and M&M’s into his popcorn. He ripped open his twizzlers and offered one to Benny, knowing they were his favourite, “Want one?”

Benny smiled at him, “Thanks, Brother.” 

Dean nodded.

They enjoyed the movie in silence. The mind-numbing action proved to require little brain power as a tiger-shift ripped open another tiger’s throat. It let Dean’s mind wander to other things. Like the the fact that this wall wasn’t going to hold forever, and the fact that maybe he wished it would. 

Somewhere in his mind another brick splintered and an animal could be heard behind the wall, scratching to be let out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hebrew Translations: 
> 
> Gamad = Short Man (meant to be insulting)  
> Leh timzoz = Go suck a dick.   
> Neshama = Soul; or Darling. A common endearment. 
> 
> Don't ask me why I wanted to make them a couple. I'm not even sure. (BTW; Golan is a Hebrew name meaning "A Place of Refuge"; I picked it cause it sounds like Gollum, but the name actually works really well in meaning too.
> 
> Anyways! I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Next chapter is CASTIEL!!!! WOAH!!!! You've all been very patient!


	11. Birds and Bees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really struggle on how I wanted to write Cas. In the end I got this. (cheesy title is cheesy)

Dean arrived at the school early to meet Castiel. He wasn’t sure what this guy was going to be like but in his mind he pictured a smaller version of Garth. Only with brasses and pizza acne. Dean didn't care either way what the guy looked like or how he acted, he was just supposed to show him around. He didn't have to be friends with him afterwards.

Dean sat outside on the old park bench in front of school. They were going to meet there at 7:30 per Garth’s specific instructions. Dean was pretty sure that Garth had a fetish for micromanaging based on the amount of call he had received from his disgruntled teacher over the past few days. ‘I just want him to be happy,’ was the reply Dean got when questioning Garth about his worries.

Dean sighed and chanced a look at his watch; 7:27. Okay, so it wasn’t like the guy was late, but Dean had been sitting here for fifteen minutes already and he was never known for his patience. 

He groaned and decided to stretch out on the bench. If he could cram in three minutes of sleep he would be grateful. Not even his medication had help him sleep last night, his mind had been jumping back and forth between brick walls the entire time. 

He flung his legs over the edge of the bench haphazardly, a hand flung across his face to shield the morning sun from his eyes. It was a beautiful day outside, the sun was shining and the sky was a bright with puffy white clouds. It was the sort of sky that all kids drew when asked to draw the sky. A fee of the bee shifters were out in the school’s dewy gardens. Several of them perched he and there on flowers. 

Normally inscect shifters didn’t change their form in public. Being so small it wouldn't be hard for them to accidently get squashed. But Dean never knew a bee who cared. There were plenty of regular bees buzzing about with them and Dean remembered a conversation in Garth’s class about shift-to-animal communication. 

Supposedly a shifter could communicate with animals in the same form as them as well; an example being that bee shifters could talk to bees and bat shifters could talk to bats. Dean wondered vaguely if that meant that Sammy could communicate with all regular dogs, or just boykin spaniels.

As Dean let his mind wander he almost didn't notice the deep cough beside him, “Ahem.”

Dean turned his head to see who had made the noise, and what he saw was a pair of pale, shaved legs and the edge of either a skirt or a dress. He grinned, “I’m sorry; would you like to sit down?”

The legs shifted a little and Dean caught sight of this girl’s shoes. They were huge! This girl had to have at least a size 9 in men’s shoes. He pushed himself up onto his elbows so he could make room for her and also so he could actually look at her face. 

Upon sitting up straight, he rubbed the tiredness from his eyes, not fully looking at the girl yet, “So what’s your name, beautiful?”

“It’s uh...It’s Castiel,” shit. That voice was not female. 

Dean finally looked at the girl and realised, that the girl was in fact, not a girl (at least biologically from what Dean could tell). He was surprised by himself when no freaking out occurred. A couple weeks ago he might have been weirded out; but after having met Rachel and learning more about stuff like that he didn't even blink twice. 

“Castiel! Hi! Sorry that you had to find me knocked out, I had late night,” Dean smiled widely at the girl in front of him. She was shorter than Dean by the looks of it, with dark scruffy hair that curled slightly at the ends. 

Castiel tilted her head to the side, his eyes narrowing slightly so that Dean had a hard time knowing if she was confused or concentrating; “You’re Dean then?” 

Dean smiled, “Oh, sorry. Hey, I’m Dean. Nice to meet you.” 

He offered Castiel his hand and the girl held it in a handshake that was firmer than he had expected. 

“So do you want to talk a bit before I show you around? We still have an hour until school starts,” Dean motioned to the seat beside him.

Castiel nodded once and placed herself beside Dean on the old park bench. 

The silence that followed was tense and slightly awkward. Dean hadn't been expecting Castiel to be the quiet type. He had been expecting some sort of mini Garth who was personable to the point of unbearable. This however was a whole new ball park. Dean was normally the quieter one in social settings, his lack of shift causing him to retreat from most social interactions outside of immediate friends. 

He looked over Castiel once more and decided that this girl could only be described as dorkishly cute. 

The skirt she was wearing was pink with a floral pattern on it; her shoes were a pair of converse in a deep wine colour. Cute. 

The shirt she was wearing was a plain white button-up with buttons in the wrong holes. A tie the same colour of his shoes hung around her neck in a loose, untidy knot. Dorky.

Dorkishly Cute. 

Dean smiled despite the awkward silence, “So, I like your skirt.” 

Somehow that was the right thing to say. Dean watched in amusement as Castiel went from socially awkward to blushing and happy. 

“Really? That’s such a relief to hear. I was afraid you might judge me for it. Uncle said you wouldn't mind but I still worried,” Castiel smiled brightly at him. 

Dean didn't bother quelling the bright feeling he got from it. She was a girl after all, so it wasn’t gay, “What’s there to judge? I mean, there’s another trans girl in the GSA. I don’t like her too much because she’s sort of annoying, but who knows, maybe you could get along.” 

Castiel laughed, “Oh! I’m not transgender.” 

Dean furrowed his brows, “You’re not? Then why are you wearing a skirt?”

Castiel shrugged, “I like the way it makes my butt look. Plus wearing clothes that aren't traditionally masculine is just one of the ways I’m sticking it to the man.” 

Dean blushed furiously, he shouldn't have assumed that Castiel was transgender, “Oh. I’m sorry.” 

Castiel shook his head and smiled, “It’s okay Dean.” 

Dean nodded then, an awkward cough escaping him, “So uh. How about I give you the grand tour then?” 

Castiel smiled, “Sounds great.” 

Wow this guy was pretty smiley once you cracked his shell. 

Castiel followed Dean through the front door of the school and through the hallways, stopping when Dean pointed out a bathroom or a water fountain that didn't work. Dean showed him the auditorium, the office, the guidance office, the gym, the cafeteria, the swimming pool. He stopped them near the music class rooms where the band geeks were already playing some awful classic. 

“So what’s you’re first class?” Dean asked during a brief pause in the trombone. He suddenly wished he’d stopped them somewhere else. 

Castiel smiled, “Photography with Ms. T.R. Eaper”

Dean nodded and lead Castiel to the third floor where Ms. Eaper or Tessa as she liked to be called (what was it with the teachers and first names in this school?) taught senior photography.

Castiel smiled as he peered inside an empty darkroom, “Wow! It’s so much bigger than my one at home!” 

Dean raised his brow, “You have a darkroom?” 

Castiel’s smile didn't leave his face, “Yeah. The house we moved into is really old, a prohibition house. It has all these weird little hiding places where they used to store booze. The cool thing is that there’s an entire second room attached to my new one, so my mom let me turn it into a dark room.” 

Dean grinned, “Dude that sounds awesome. Like a puzzle house or something.” 

Dean was genuinely fascinated by the idea, and it mostly had to do with his love of the Untouchables and an admiration for Eliot Ness that Charlie insisted had everything to do with Kevin Costner and nothing to do with the actual man. 

Castiel chuckled, “I suppose it is rather interesting.” 

Castiel’s throaty laugh was a pleasing sound. Dean didn't think too much of it; a lot of people have nice laughs. 

“Well, we have ten minutes. Anywhere else you want to see?” Dean offered politely.

Castiel hummed and thought for a minute, “I’m okay right now; but would you be willing to tell me how to get to Uncle’s class? I have it next period.”

Dean smiled, “Why don’t I come and get you? We can go together.”

Castiel blinked before grinning widely, “You have it second period too? That’s good. If I had to go it alone I’m sure Uncle would smother me.” 

Dean laughed, “Yeah, that lanky dog is a bit of a puppy sometimes.” 

Castiel laughed with him, “He really is. Speaking of shifts, what’s yours?” 

Castiel was smiling at him so innocently, it was practically angelic. If Dean had not been so sledgehammered by the sudden question he might have wanted to kiss the boy. As it were though, Dean was a bit panicky. 

“Um, you see, the thing is that lately I've been....that is to say...” Dean was stuttering. His heart was pounding. Why was he reacting like this? He had always been touchy in this area, but he had never acted this idiotic. God, it was like Cassie all over again. The beautiful black girl that Dean fumbled over in seventh grade had laughed at him.

To his surprise and relief Castiel shook his head, “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me. I understand. Did you know that in some countries like India they only shift in the presence of family and doctors?”  
Dean shook his head, still slightly panicked, “No, I uh...didn't know that.” 

He swallowed, “But uh, actually I don't have a shift yet.” 

Castiel made a sound of recognition, “Oh! My mistake. You know, my grandmother didn’t shift until she was sixty.” 

Dean coughed on dred, “Sixty? What was wrong with her?” 

Castiel frowned, “Nothing. At least not physically that is. She had a mental wall, it’s common in trauma victims. My grandmother carried the weight of a sexual assault for forty-five years. She hadn't told anybody until the day she turned into a dove.” 

Dean frowned, the air growing solemn, “I’m sorry about what happened to her.” 

Castiel nodded, “Me too. But she was a happy woman once she let go of it all. I’m happy she got to enjoy a few years with wings before she passed away with pneumonia.” 

Dean nodded, not really sure what to say.

Castiel gave Dean a small half-smile, “Well, I’m sure you’ll get your shift quicker than that.” 

Dean nodded, “Let’s hope so. These symptoms are really screwing with me.” 

Castiel chuckled, “I remember my first symptoms. Mother was furious when I made a nest in her linens and gathered every shiny object in sight. She likes to keep a clean house and a nesting pre-teen wasn’t on her list of approved things.” 

Dean laughed, “So you’re an air shifter than?”

Castiel nodded, “A western scrub jay.” 

Dean crinkled his forehead in confusion, “I’ve never heard of it.”

Castiel smiled, “Well, the native jays are from California. So there’s not many wild ones in Kansas. If you’d like I can show you?”

Dean looked at Cas and found he would probably die if he didn't see Castiel shift, “Yeah. I’d love it.” 

Castiel raised a brow and then the familiar crack of bones and a brilliant light wrapped around his human form. Dean had seen other shifts that looked like light, hell Sammy looke like light, but this was not comparable. 

Castiel’s shift looked like a street lamp on a cold dark street, it looked like a warm fire on a long winter’s night, it looked as though if Dean were to touch Castiel in that moment, he wouldn’t ever need the sun. 

It ended all too abruptly as Castiel reemerged in the form of a bird that could fit easily in his palm. He tittered softly at Dean. 

Dean smiled, “Wow Cas. Can I call you Cas? Your feathers are really blue.”

They were really blue. In fact all of Cas’s wing feathers were blue. He had light beige underbelly, and a dark beige spot on his back. There were a few white feathers on his neck as well as just above his small dark eyes. It somehow fit the boy; even though Dean didn't know him all to well yet, he knew that he wanted to. 

Cas tittered again, stretching his wings and flying up to perch on Dean’s shoulders. It was strange, and slightly intimate. Air shifters did not perch on those they did not know or trust, and certainly not on those they just met. Dean had a feeling that Castiel’s social skills were a bit rusty; he didn't mind. 

Dean smiled and reached his hand up to Castiel, his forefinger brushing against the bird’s head lightly. Castiel tittered happily before nipping Dean lightly and flying back to the ground. 

He shifted in another warm light and Dean found he was blushing. Castiel had for all intents and purposes nibbled on his finger. A picture of Castiel’s human form sucking gently on his fingertips crashed into his mind like an uninvited party guest.

Castiel smiled, “I take it you approve?” 

Dean nodded, “Yeah. You’re beautiful.” 

Cas blushed and smiled happily, Dean returned the gesture tenfold at seeing the other boy ruffle under his praise. 

“Am I interrupting anything?” Dean was pulled out of his little bubble by a shock of red hair in his peripheral vision being her usual self. 

Charlie was grinning like an idiot, he eyes darting back and forth between Dean and Castiel. 

Dean sighed, he had to bit this in the butt before she got any ideas, “Charlie this is Cas. Cas this is Charlie. I’m helping Cas learn the in’s and out’s of this...fine learning establishment.” 

Charlie grinned, “We’re the best people you’ll ever meet. I’ll make you a map of the cafeteria.” 

Dean and Cas both raised a brow. “What?”  
Charlie rolled her eyes, “Mean Girls? Lindsay Lohan? Ugh...uncultured men.” 

Dean shrugged his shoulders, but Castiel looked genuinely distraught, “I don’t understand that reference.” 

Charlie smiled, “That’s okay! We’ll have to watch it some time!” 

Dean saw the exact moment Charlie’s eyes saw Castiel’s skirt. She grinned, “You are rocking that skirt dude. It looks great!”

Castiel smiled, “You think so?” 

Charlie grinned and did in a mini fist-pump, “Hell yeah. It make’s you’re legs look longer. Shows off your butt.”

Dean snorted at Charlie’s choice of words before he noticed the tears in Castiel’s eyes. 

“Cas?” Dean walked the three short steps to him and placed his hands on his arm, “Cas, are you okay? What’s wrong?” 

Cas shook his head, a smile on his face, “I've never been so accepted before. I’m happy.” 

The bell rang, class was starting but Dean didn't care as students pushed through and around them to get to first period. He smiled at Castiel, “I’m happy for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The crossdressing is a bit of Misha peeking through there. (also it's going to help dean. I thought 'what a great way to ease Dean into his bisexuality'.)
> 
>  
> 
> http://geraldsfuller.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/jay-12-06-2007.jpg (Castiel's Shift)


	12. Dioramas and An Unsettling Amount of Determination

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments you guys have been leaving! It really motivates me to power through any writer's block I get!

Dean waited outside the photography class as students flooded out of it’s door in a wave of various animals and people. He wasn’t sure why so many students were in shift; it wasn’t allowed in school. Not that it didn't happen, but the school board had some sort of archaic idea that students became infinitely dumber in their shift. It was a rule that hadn’t been changed in decades.

Dean looked for a mop of dark brown hair, expecting to see Cas in human form. He was mildly surprised when he felt a sudden weight on his shoulder. 

‘Screee’ Castiel squawked by his ear and Dean winced.

“Not so loud Cas!” He tried to turn his head to look at Cas without knocking him off. It was difficult so eventually he lifted out his arm for the boy to perch on. He had done it a few times with Benny.

Castiel chirped in what Dean assumed was a thanks, and jumped over to the bare wrist of Dean’s arm. He was happy Cas didn’t have talons. Dean smiled when Castiel stretched out his wings, the tips of them brushing his fingers.

“Do you want to shift back or should I just carry you? Two for carry, one for walk,” Dean shook his fingers a little and Castiel let out two short chirps.

Dean smiled, “Alright. But just this once.” 

He said that but he was pretty sure it wasn’t true. He had told Benny the same thing.

Dean walked quietly through the halls, Castiel perched happily on his wrist. They made it to Garth’s class relatively fast and Castiel hopped off his wrist at the door. The same warm light flooded around him and he stood in place as a human again. 

“Thanks. I've been flying all period so I’m a little sore,” Castiel smiled at Dean as they walked into class. 

Dean rose his brow, leading Castiel to the two desks where normally there was only one. The eccentric man had attached a second desk to Dean’s own. Obviously intending for the two of them to sit next to each other. He swore that Garth didn't understand the definition of subtle sometimes.

They sat down and Dean turned back to Cas, “Why were you flying?” 

“Oh, the class was doing motion studies. Taking pictures of shifts in movement; so me in flight, the cheetah girl running. Stuff like that. We’re taking turns, tomorrow I’ll be shooting and someone else will be flying,” Castiel replied.

Dean noticed that he indeed looked a little tired, “So it was more like a gym class then?”

Castiel chuckled, “In a way it was, I suppose.” 

Dean smiled lightly, “Well, now you can rest.” 

Garth walked into the room then, launching straight into welcoming Castiel to the class. There were a few grumbled hellos and then the lesson started. Dean didn’t pay much attention as Garth started talking about hoarding habits. Dean had experienced that first hand so he didn't really care. 

He doodled in his notebook instead, the image of a bird taking form in half-ass scribbles. It was Cas, but his beak was to long and his legs were too short. It was all in all a terrible rendering. 

Castiel chuckled beside him, his eyes not leaving the front of the classroom and Dean wondered if Garth had told a joke or something.

He doodled Benny next. His bat ears were to small, his snoot to big, and his wings looked like something dragged out of hell. Another chuckle from Castiel; Garth must be really witty today. 

As he started drawing a goofy otter a tap on his shoulder alerted him to the Bat he had forgotten sat behind him, “Hey, Brother.”

Dean turned slightly, his voice lowered, “Hey Benny. Sorry I didn't say hi.” 

Benny smirked, “To busy flirting with birds to pay attention to me?” 

Dean scoffed, “Cas? I just met him!” 

A wiser person would have realized Castiel was listening to every word said, but Dean was not known for patience and he was not known for wisdom, “Besides. I told you. I’m not gay!” 

Benny chuckled, “Brother, you are so far in that closet I’m surprised you aren't in Narnia.” 

Dean huffed and was about to retort when Garth sent them a warning glare, “Boys. How many times do I have to tell you not to talk in class?” 

“Sorry, Garth,” It was a well rehearsed line. 

Dean mimed texting with his thumbs and Benny nodded. They both pulled out their phones. 

‘Stop pushing the gay thing’ Dean texted.

‘I’m not pushing. I’m helping.’  
‘Right...suggesting I like a guy I JUST MET, is helping.’  
‘He is cute though.’

Dean didn't really know what to say to that. Did Benny like Cas? Not romantically or as a person, but did he have some sort of attraction to him? Is that why he had asked?

‘Why? Do you want go out with him or something?’

Dean furrowed his brow, and texted a second question. 

‘How did you know he was a bird?’

His phone vibrated. 

‘Brother, I saw you walking to class with him perched on your arm. Awfully intimate for a first meeting.’ 

Dean blushed a little.

‘You didn't answer the first question.’

Benny chuckled behind him.

‘Don’t worry Dean; I won’t touch your man. I actually have a date on Saturday.’

‘You do? Who with?’ 

‘The angel fish, Angela. From trig. You don’t know her.’

‘Well congrats then.’

They didn't send anything else and the rest of the class went by quickly. At the end of it Garth handed out a paper to everyone, “Alright. I want you to work in pairs for this assignment. You're job is to recreate the native habitat of you’re partner in diorama form.”

The entire class groaned. Bela, a particularly annoying siamese cat shifter spoke up, “Aren't we a bit old for dioramas?”

Garth smiled, “You’re never to old! Would you rather do a six page essay on it instead?” 

The class shouted a few no’s and Garth smiled widely, “Alright then. Now I've already picked the pairs. I wanted you to have something as different as you could to your own. So for example, Benny you’ll be paired with Meg; A bat’s habitat is vastly different from a russian blue.”  
Benny groaned behind him and Dean didn't blame him. Meg was a bitch. 

Garth continued, “Gordon and Thomas, Amelia and Frank, Jonah and Austin, Dean and Castiel, Aaron and Ruby...” 

The list went on but Dean ignored it in favour of smiling as Castiel, “I gotta hand to Garth. I’m almost 100% sure this assignment was just an excuse for you to come to my house and meet some people.”

Castiel sighed but smiled, “It does appear that way. Although i'm not sure how I'm going to create a model of your shift’s habitat when you don't have one.” 

Dean frowned, “You could do a mini version of my bedroom?” 

Castiel laughed, “That could work. The natural habitat of the mysterious Dean.” 

Dean laughed, “Yeah. And you can give me pointers on constructing a nest, because I have no idea how to go about doing that.” 

Castiel smiled, “I’m sure I could handle that. In fact I saw some nice scrubs on the walk to school. We could go by tomorrow and I'll show you.”

Dean smiled, but quickly frowned, “I can’t. I’m busy.” 

Castiel nodded, his smile still there, though not as bright, “Oh? Do you have work?” 

Dean shook his head, “No. I uh...I actually have a date.” 

Castiel’s smile was gone and Dean wasn’t sure what to think about it, “Oh. I bet she’s very pretty.” 

Dean felt the blush on his cheeks. All this blushing lately was seriously damaging his macho creed, “It’s uh. I actually have a date with a man.” 

Castiel tilted his head to the side, his eyes narrowing; Dean thought maybe it was a habit, “Garth never told me you were gay. He said you were a straight ally.” 

Dean shook his head, “I am. I’m not gay. I like girls.” 

Castiel blinked, “So your’e bisexual then?”

Dean shook his head, “No! No...I’m 100% fully straight.”

“Yet you are dating a man,” Castiel had a confused yet determined look to his face. 

Dean shrugged, the blush on his face spreading to his collar bone, red peeking out from under his metallica shirt, “Well yeah, but...” 

Castiel shook his head, then smiled. His eyes held a determination that Dean had never seen in anyone before, “I’m going to help you Dean.” 

“What?” Dean furrowed his brow. He vaguely registered Benny’s muffled laughter. 

“I’m going to help you pull down that wall inside your head,” Castiel smiled and Dean was pretty sure he was fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Castiel is up to no good ;) Next chapter is another Stockholm chapter and then it's Michael and Dean's first date! Whooooooo! (just so you know the explicit rating is going to live up to it's name in that chapter...but nothing too big.)


	13. From My Head Down to My Toes

Dean woke up the next morning in the middle of the forest. He groaned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. The chirping of native birds could be heard as they flew about. A native squirrel crawled up a tree somewhere. The forest was awake but Dean didn't care much about it; he only cared about why he was there. 

“What the hell?” he looked around the small clearing he was in; a small patch of dead leaves, covered by a thick, nearly impenetrable underbrush. 

He was still in his boxer shorts and his t-shirt that he had wore the night before, but his arms were covered to the elbows in a layer of thick black mud, as if he had been digging the entire night.

He belatedly realised there was now mud smeared all across his face, “Shit. What the hell happened last night? Where the hell am I?” 

He stretched his arms out and sniffed the air on instinct. Pine trees, wet pavement, the industrial cleaner that the school janitors used, “Why am I in the woods behind the school?” 

He rolled over onto his stomach and wormed his way out of the underbrush where he must have gotten in. He scratched his legs a few times on wayward sticks and thorns, but otherwise made it out unscathed. 

Looking around Dean realized he had no clue which direction to go in order to get out of the forest, “Okay. That’s a problem.” 

He sniffed the air again. His sense of smell had been improving, but he still didn't trust it enough to get himself out of the forest.

A soft rustling noise turned his attention to a patch of shrubs nestled beneath a nearby pine tree. The shrubs shaked and Dean’s eyes narrowed as a native mouse scurried from the bushes. He had a strong urge to catch it, but fought the instinct to snatch the thing in his jaws. 

He sighed, he supposed it was up to the few basic survival tricks that his dad had taught him from his time in the army. He began searching out any moss, something to give him a bearing on direction. He couldn't see the sun through the dense of the trees so that was no good. 

Eventually he stumbled upon a mossy rock and followed it to the south where he knew the school would be. He was happy for once that John had felt the need to teach him these things when his shift never came.

After a half hour of wandering south Dean came out on a familiar trail. He sighed in relief, “Thank god.”

Dean yawned and made his way towards the school. Now that he knew where he was he allowed himself to feel the tiredness in his bones. He was always tired during the day, but without his nocturn he felt like he was about to keel over.

Finally he stumbled out onto the field behind the school. He carried himself slowly, mud clinging to his arms and face, his feet by now sodden and wet. He was probably dirtier in that moment than he could ever remember being. 

A loud screech sounded out above him but he didn't look up. He walked a little further before it sounded again. He blinked towards the sky in time to see a swirling mass of blood land in front of him. 

Benny materialized in front of him, his eyes worried and relieved, “Dean!” 

Benny threw his arms around Dean, clutching him like he'd never see him again, “Brother ,where were you? Why are covered in mud? Your family is worried sick!” 

Dean slumped against Benny heavily, “Benny.”

He wrapped his arms around his friend’s back, too tired to stand properly as his legs gave out. Benny’s hold held him up, but he would have been on the ground otherwise, “Christ, Dean. You're limper than a noodle. Almost like you shifted or something.” 

Benny bent his knees, picking Dean up easily, “Come on. Your family has been sniffing around town since Sam found your bed empty. Even Charlie and Becky have been out searching.” 

Dean groaned, his arms wrapped around Benny’s neck as the Bat carried him. He rested his head on his shoulders, “What time is it?” 

Benny chuckled, “It’s four in the morning.” 

Dean groaned. He could hear a faint barking in the distance, “Sammy?”

Benny shrugged, his body moving under Dean’s arms as he walked, “I think so. But I don't know their sounds like you do.” 

Another bark again, then a different one. The sounds of a worried pack running towards them.

“DEAN!” Sam’s voice echoed through the field but Dean was too tired to look up.

Soon he was handed over to someone, his body based like a rag doll despite his weight. The familiar scent of John passed over him and he buried his face in his father’s shirt. 

John sighed, his arms wrapping tightly around Dean, “I haven’t carried you since you were four. You've gotten heavy.” 

Dean grumbled, not paying to much attention to the conversation that followed. 

“Where did you find him Benny?” John asked. 

“He was wandering out of the forest, covered in mud and about to fall over from exhaustion. I’m not entirely sure, but I think he shifted,” Benny’s voice was a mixture of shock and confusion.

“It would explain why his scent went cold. If he shifted, his scent would have as well,” Bobby’s voice was gruff and slightly annoyed. Most likely at having to be up so early. 

“It’s a good thing Sam thought of your echolocation,” Mary’s voice was shaky with her worry, and firm in her pride for Sam. 

“I’m just glad he’s okay,” Dean vaguely registered Sam’s hand running over his face, wiping the dirt from his eyes before he was dead to the world. 

:::

The next time he woke up it was eight. The alarm clock on his nightstand seemed far too bright, and a heavy weight pressed down on his chest. He looked sleepily at Sam curled around his middle, “Sammy?” 

Sam woke up slowly, turning his eyes up at Dean, “Dean! You’re up!” 

Dean laughed, “Yeah I’m up. Why are you in my bed?” 

Sam frowned, “I was worried, and Dad thought it might be best if someone stayed with you.” 

He frowned, “I was in the forest....” 

Sam nodded, “Yeah. You're still covered in dirt by the way. We wiped most of it off with a cloth, but you'll probably want to shower before school.” 

Dean groaned, “They're still making me go to school?”

Sam nodded, “Yeah. Mom thought you should stay home but Dad insisted you couldn't miss a day.” 

Dean rolled his eyes, “Figures.” 

Sam sighed, “Yeah.” 

Dean yawned, stretching his arms above his head and jostling Sam off of his chest, “Better get ready then.” 

:::

Charlie stuck a little closer to him than usual. Her worried looks completely obvious as they walked towards Castiel’s photography class. He hadn't seen him before school but he told the boy he would walk with him to second period. 

“You know I'm not going to fall over and die right?” He rolled his eyes as Charlie wrapper her arms around his left bicep, clinging to him in a rather comical manner. 

Charlie huffed, “You scared the shit out of me! Let me cope okay?” 

Dean sighed, but let the redhead weigh him down. They walked awkwardly to Ms. Eaper’s class and waited for Castiel. 

Charlie whistled a bored tune as students milled about. Their teacher’s had let them out early in order to engage in an illicit affair in the janitor’s closet. It was no secret that Gadreel from the tech department and Abner from the art department were fucking. Apparently some freshman girl had caught them in the act the year before and suddenly everyone noticed the looks they gave each other in passing wasn’t entirely malice. Dean didn't think Gadreel was that bad of a teacher, but in terms of personality, he was morally lacking. 

Charlie’s whistling stopped in favour of her favourite pastime of prying into Dean’s love life, “So, Castiel huh? You ask him out yet?”

“What?” Dean looked at her incredulously.

Charlie smirked, “Oh come on. I saw you sitting with him at lunch yesterday. You had pie yesterday and you GAVE it to him. You never give away your pie.”

Dean blushed, “He’d never had banana creame pie before! Can you imagine what a lowly existence he must have been living! I was doing god’s work Charlie.”

Charlie laughed, “Right. For a guy who doesn't believe in god, you seem awfully religious today.” 

Dean huffed, “I believe in god. I just don't think he believes in us.” 

Charlie frowned, “Okay socrates, let’s not get too heavy before lunch time.” 

Dean shrugged, “You brought it up.” 

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel smiled at him as he exited the class. “Charlie. It’s nice to see you again as well.”

Charlie grinned, “It’s good to see you too!” 

Cas smiled. He was wearing pants today; tight black leggings that clung to skin and left virtually nothing for Dean to imagine. He was wearing a blue t-shirt with another shirt over top that was a shimmery black satiny thing that hung over only one of his shoulders, reminding Dean of a those togas angels wore in the old books Bobby had lying around his house. 

He looked damn good and Dean was unintentionally gravitating towards him, “You ready to go then?” 

Castiel nodded, “Yes. I am ready.” 

Dean smiled, “Just let me get rid of the weasel first.” 

Charlie scoffed, “Excuse me? I'm an otter, you ass.” 

Castiel chuckled, “I like you.” 

Charlie beamed at Castiel and stuck her tongue out at Dean, “I like you too Cas. You watch after him okay? The stupid boy got lost in the woods last night.” 

Cas raised his eyebrow at Dean as Charlie disappeared down the hallway, “You got lost in the woods?” 

Dean sighed, reaching out to put his hand on Cas’s shoulder, steering him towards class, “It’s a long story.” 

Castiel nodded, respecting Dean by not asking more questions.

::::

They spent the entirety of Garth’s class filling out question sheets about their habitats for their partner. Castiel snorted in amusement when he read Dean’s, ‘I like that you build your nest out of blankets and duct tape. You should make me a pillow fort sometime, Dean.’ Dean had blushed and mentioned that it was more comfortable than twigs and mud.

Dean had filled Castiel in on his late night sleepwalking adventures and Castiel had seemed amused but slightly worried. Dean didn't think too much of it as he led Castiel to his first meeting at Stockholm. 

“I have to warn you; these guys can be a little weird,” Dean thought it only just to give the guy fair warning.  
Castiel smiled, “I'm sure we'll get along fine. We queer folk have a habit of sticking together even if we don't like each other too much.” 

Dean thought that was kind of nice. A big gay, rainbow family. Of course the sentiment was hindered by the fact that Crowley insisted that the group was more like a captive situation than a familial group, “Don’t hold your breath with all of them though.” 

Castiel nodded and Dean pushed open the door to the portable. 

“DEAN-O! My baby! My precious muffin!” Gabriel flung himself on top of Dean before he could even make it halfway across the room, causing him to fall down and a chorus of laughter to fill the room as he planted a big wet kiss on Dean’s cheek. 

Dean growled and pushed Gabriel off of his lap, sending him flying onto his butt, “Get off me, you stupid bird!” 

Gabriel laughed, his bones cracking as he shifted in a sugary swirl and flew off to land on Balthazar’s shoulder. The magpie chirped in laughter, it’s head tilted back and bobbing in amusement. 

Castiel offered Dean his hand, pulling him back to his feet with an eyebrow raised in questioning amusement.

“Who’s this then?” Crowley looked over Castiel from his spot lounging on the teacher’s abandoned desk. A king on a self-proclaimed throne.

“This is Castiel. He’s new to the school,” Dean didn't realize his hand was one the small of Cas’s back until the boy moved away to shake Crowley’s hand.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Castiel smiled politely. 

Crowley smirked, “Well it’s always a pleasure to have another bird around. I’m Crowley.” 

Balthazar rolled his eyes as he walked over to Cas, Gabriel still perched on his shoulder, “Don't let him stick his filthy cat claws into you Castiel. He’s a lousy shag.” 

Castiel blushed and let go of Crowley’s hand. 

Crowley scoffed, “As if you’d know, bird brain.” 

Balthazar chuckled, extending his hand to Castiel as Dean sat down in an unoccupied chair to watch the exchange unfold, “I’m Balthazar, and the idiot on my shoulder is Gabriel.” 

Castiel smiled, shaking Balthazar’s hand gently, his eyes roaming up the british boy’s body in a way that made Dean very uncomfortable, “It’s nice to meet you both.” 

Gabriel let out a squawk and Castiel laughed, “No.” 

Dean wondered what the sugar plum fairy had said.

Rachel stood up next, offering her hand to Castiel as well, “Rachel.” 

Castiel smiled, “Nice to meet you. Another bird?” 

Rachel rose her brow, impressed, “A martial eagle.” 

Castiel grinned, “Western scrub jay.” 

Gabriel hopped of of Balthazar and quickly shifted, a smile on smirk on his face, “Finally! Another corvid! I was starting to get sick of all the raptors.”

Balthazar rolled his eyes, “Like you don't love my talons.” 

Gabriel blushed, “That’s something else entirely.” 

Castiel laughed, “I imagine size can be an issue sometimes.” 

Gabriel pointed a finger at Castiel, “Yes! Exactly! I can't exactly roll around with you can I? You’d crush me!” 

Dean rose his brow, “Roll around?” 

Castiel turned to look at Dean and smiled, “Corvid air shifters are very social, playful people. We like to roll around together in our shifts. It helps relieve stress and provides a bonding experience.”

“Hmm,” Dean didn't like the idea of Castiel ‘rolling around’ with Gabriel; social instincts be damned.

Anna laughed from her spot on a nearby desk, “Don't worry Dean. It’s not sex.” 

Dean blushed and glared at her. She ignored him in favour of introducing herself to Cas. The other’s in the group that hadn't been there slowly started to trickle in through the door, all introducing themselves to Cas before sitting down. Eventually everyone except Benny was there.

Crowley sighed and got up off the teacher’s desk, “So, you've all met Castiel. We're happy to have him. Today’s first article of business is the annual aid bake sale. It’s in two weeks and not all of you have signed up for something yet. We need posters, and buttons, and obviously baked goods. Plus someone had to make an announcement at next week’s talent show.” 

The group launched into a debate about who was going to make what and what their duties were. Eventually Charlie roped Dean into doing the announcement because lord knows his baking skills were almost as abysmal as her drawing skills. 

“If it’s okay, I’d love to bake some pies. My grandmother gave me her pecan pie recipe before she passed away,” Castiel smiled as he wrote down his name on a list that was being passed around. “And my mother has a peanut butter creme pie recipe she sometimes makes.” 

Charlie laughed when Dean looked at Cas like he was the sun, “You can make pie?” 

Cas smiled, “Yeah. I’m okay at it.” 

Dean whined unintentionally and Gabriel laughed, “Have a hard on for bakers, Dean-o?” 

Dean glared at him, “No. I just happen to appreciate anyone who can make the world’s perfect dessert.” 

Castiel smiled at Dean as the rest of the group changed topics, “If you want, I could show you how sometime.” 

Dean grinned, “I’d like that.” 

The rest of the meeting went by in the same manner; Castiel smiled, Dean melted, Gabriel laughed, and more and more bricks fell from Dean’s crumbling wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, all of the weird sleepwalking will be explained in the next two chapters. Also, bake sale, cause fuck it. I wanted an excuse for Dean and Cas to bake pie together. Also, for some reason Dean covered head to toe in mud is very appealing to me.


	14. Abandoned Parking Lots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter has explicit sexual content. Be warned or excited.

Dean ruffled around in his dresser for something to wear. What do you wear on a date with a guy anyway? He sighed; with a girl it was easy. He would just wear what he always wore, nice jeans, t-shirt. He never needed to dress up before. Realistically he knew Michael probably wouldn't care. He had been in worn out dirty clothes when they met and the man still made out with him. He knew this, but he was also pretty sure that Michael’s taste ran a little finer than the cheap burgers he was used to. Hell he didn't even know if Michael ate meat. He should have asked before hand.

Michael had texted him the address to somewhere in the downtown core of Kansas City. Not a long drive, but far enough from Dean’s home in the west end of Lawrence that it might take him an hour to get there.

He shoved his hands into the drawers and pulled out his best jeans. They were a dark stone washed pair that he got for christmas one year from his grandfather. Henry hadn't approved of the ‘brutish clothing’ his son chose to clothe his children in and bought Dean and Sam both very expensive outfits. He didn't wear them much. The gift from his feline grandfather soured by the memory of his long absence from their life. But it was the only thing he had that wouldn't look ridiculous if Michael did end up taking him somewhere upscale. 

He pulled them over his hips and grimaced at their tightness. They were a bit older and he had grown. They still fit him, but the legs were decidedly more form fitting than he was used to. He riffled through his closet next; in search of a halfway decent shirt that didn't have a band logo or awkward stains on it. 

He groaned in frustration as he came up short.

“Having troubles?” Sam chuckled from the top of the stairs.

Dean whined that stupid whine of his as Sam laughed, “Shut up Sam. It’s not funny.”

Sam shrugged, “What are you doing anyway?” 

Dean huffed, “I have a date tonight and I don't have a shirt to wear.” 

Sam raised his brow, taking in his older brother’s jeans, his shower-wet hair and the awkward tilt of his bowlegs that suggested he was very uncomfortable, “A date? You're in here groaning like you’re being murdered because you have a date?”

Dean frowned, “Yes. Now shut up and help me or get lost.” 

Sam rolled his eyes but walked to Dean’s closet and began pushing through the mess of clothing. He pushed hanger after hanger to the side while Dean dug through the baskets on the top shelf. 

“So what’s her name?” Sam pulled a plain black tee out of the closet before shaking his head and throwing it aside. 

Dean frowned slightly, “His name is- I mean HER name is...uh... Michelle.” 

Sam raised his brow, a thin smirk on his face, “I’m sure he’s wonderful.” 

“Shut up, Bitch,” Dean blushed.

“Jerk,” Sam grinned. He didn't say anything more and Dean was grateful. 

Eventually Sam agreed that Dean had nothing suitable and suggested they raid John’s wardrobe instead, “You’re almost the same size. Dad is a little broader in the shoulders but I think he has some old button-downs from his army days in a box under the stairs.” 

Dean shrugged, “Worth a look.” 

They climbed the stairs out of Dean’s basement room to rifle around in the upstairs closet. As they pulled out an old box labeled ‘John’s Clothes’, the man himself clicked past them, his claws scrapping against tile as he walked. They didn't often see John in his shift, the man spent most of his time in human from for a reason they weren't sure of.

The doberman sniffed the air and let out one loud bark that sounded far too intimidating to Dean. But Sam smiled and shrugged, his inner dog translating for him, “Dean has a date. We were thinking he could use one of your old button-downs.” 

John barked again, a lower pitch than a slightly higher one, before trotting away. Dean looked at Sam with a raised brow, “What did he say?” 

Sam shrugged, “He said don’t get stains on it.” 

Dean chuckled, “I’ll keep them clean!” 

He pulled the box tabs open to reveal a neatly pressed and folded stack of crisp white button-down shirts. He moaned, “Doesn't he have anything but white?” 

Sam laughed, “Here, actually look would you?”

Sam pulled out shirt by shirt, each one white until the very bottom where a satiny green shirt lay. Dean quaffed, “This one looks like it belongs in an antique pimp museum.” 

Sam laughed, “I don’t know, Dean. I think it would look good on you.” 

Dean blinked at his sincerity, “You’re joking right? This thing?” 

Sam nodded, holding the offending object up to Dean’s chest, “You should try it on. It would make your eyes pop.”   
Dean rolled his eyes, “I’m not looking to make my ‘eyes pop’. I just want something that’s a bit dressy but not so dressy that I’ll look like a butler.” 

Sam sighed, “Fine. Wear a white one and then wear this over top.” 

Dean raised his brow as Sam dug an old military jacket from a second box, an old formal suit that Dean recalls their father wearing to navel balls, “Why that?”

Sam slapped Dean’s arms, “Just put it on. I’m getting tired of you being a primadonna. I’m sure this guy won’t care either way.” 

Dean whined but acquiesced, “Fine.” 

Dean grabbed one of the white shirts and slipped it over his naked chest ungracefully, at this point not caring. His ire showed in the way he raised his shoulder blades, almost like a dog preparing for a fight. 

He slipped the jacket on next and Sam smiled, “You look good. Jess says military fashion is in right now.” 

Dean raised his brow, “Oh, Jess is it?” 

Sam grinned, “Shut up.” There was no malice in it. Dean envied the maturity of his younger brother. The kid was too calm and collected for thirteen. 

John wandered back into the hall then, his human form newly shaven and an appreciative smile on his face, “You look good son. Probably better than I ever looked in that thing.” 

Dean smiled at the genuine praise from his father, “Thanks Dad.” 

John smiled, “So who’s the lucky girl?” 

“Her name’s Michelle,” Sammy answered for him, a sly wink to Dean as he took his leave.

Dean nodded awkwardly, “Yeah, she’s uh, from Kansas City. I fixed her car.” 

It wasn’t a lie technically.

John nodded before glancing around. Once satisfied that the area was devoid of spying thirteen-year-olds, he pulled a couple of small foil packets from his pocket, “Now, I expect you to be a gentleman on the first date, but times are changing and I know kids nowadays are all...hormonal and what not. So take these just in case alright?” 

Dean stared wide-eyed in abject horror as John placed a condom and a small packet of lubricant in his hands, “What? Dad I don’t need these!”   
John frowned, “Dean, I will not have you impregnating some girl or catching some disease. You will take these and you will use them if need be. Am I clear?” 

Dean laughed awkwardly, “That is so not what I meant.” 

John raised his brow, “Take them anyway. I didn't have anything but a large but that should be good enough right?” 

Dean blushed and nodded. He wasn’t about to tell his Dad that he needed a medium sized condom. That conversation was not one he was willing to have, “Yeah Dad. Okay. Bye.” 

He shoved the condom and lube into his back pocket and grabbed his keys and wallet from the table by their door and escaped into the forgiving dark of night. 

::::

He pulled up to ‘Shelby’s Diner’ with confusion. This was the right address but it couldn’t be the right place.

He hopped out of the impala and strode into the greasy diner with trepidation. To his surprise and relief he saw Michael sitting in a booth near the back, a smile on his handsome face as he waved Dean over to the red leather seats.

Dean sat down across from Micheal and looked around nervously, “So uh. A diner huh?” 

Micheal smiled, “Not my usual taste, but you struck me as a man who would prefer this over a five star restaurant.”

Dean smiled at Micheal as a waitress in a god-awful bell skirt made her way over, “Yeah. Good call.” 

Micheal was wearing a pair of nice jeans and a tight-fitting black t-shirt. Dean felt wildly overdressed.

The waitress rolled his eyes at them, “What can I get you?”

Micheal looked at the small six item menu bracketed to the wall of their booth, “I’ll have the Carnivore’s Delight.” 

Dean blinked, so carnivore obviously. He looked over the six meals the small diner offered, “I’ll have the Omnivore’s Burger Chow Down and a root beer.” 

The waitress nodded, “Anything else.”

Micheal smiled, “Oh, I’ll take a chocolate milkshake as well.” 

The waitress said nothing and left. 

Micheal turned back to Dean, “So an omnivore? What’s your shift?”  
Dean blushed nervously, “I uh. I don’t have one yet.” 

Micheal raised his brow in interest, “Oh? Why is that?” 

Dean sighed, “Late bloomer I guess? I’m seeing a shift therapist for a mental block,” 

Micheal nodded, “I see. One of my co-workers had a mental block after she had a child. Postpartum depression is an awful thing.” 

Dean didn't really now what that was but decided he would look it up later, not wanting to look stupid in front of the other man, “Yeah.” 

Micheal smiled, “Well, I’m a Brahminy kite; a raptor.”

Dean nodded, “So a bird of prey like your brother and cousins?” 

Micheal nodded, “You mentioned knowing my brother; but you didn't mention my cousins. How do you know them?” 

Dean blushed, “I uh. Go to the GSA with them.” 

Micheal smiled, “Ah, I see. It’s good to have supports. I tried to offer Lucifer the support he needed when he was living with me, but he’s stubborn in his best moments and often refused my comfort. I’m glad he’s joined the group. He seems better than he was.” 

Dean had a hard time believing the offstandish vulture could get any worse than he normally was. He decided that he would try really hard not piss the guy off, “Yeah. I joined when my friend came out. For support you know?” 

Micheal raised his brow, “I assumed it would be because you yourself are gay.” 

Dean let out a frightened whine without realizing it, “I uh. I’m not...out.” 

That was the right thing to say right? It must have been because Micheal smiled sympathetically, “I get it. It’s rough. I didn't come out until college, and even then I didn’t kiss a man until I was 25.” 

Dean blinked at that, he thought michael was 25 now! “Wait, how old are you exactly?” 

Micheal chuckled, “I’m 28.” 

Ten years. This man was ten years older than Dean. Granted Dean didn't care when he thought it was seven, but somehow double digits made the age gap more menacing.

Dean swallowed his nervousness, “Ah, okay. At least your not forty or something.” 

Micheal laughed, “I’d be pretty in shape for a forty-year-old don’t you think?” 

He reached across the table to place his hand over Dean’s, his thumb rubbing a light circle on his wrist. Dean nodded, the tension easing slowly from his shoulders as the disinterested waitress returned with their food. 

A rather sizable steak, extra rare sat on Micheal’s plate, the warm blood pooled on the plate, soaked up by mashed potatoes. Dean grinned happily at his own plate, a big burger with fresh lettuce and tomatoes stacked in between.

“This looks great. Thanks,” Dean smiled at the waitress who shrugged and walked off. 

Micheal frowned, “I am not tipping her well.” 

Dean laughed. 

:::::

They ate their food and chatted amicably about school and work and about their hobbies and interests. Dean found out that Michael liked to cross-country ski in the winter and play soccer in the summer. He found out Micheal’s favourite movie was ‘The Soloist’ because he liked RDJ and his favourite book was ‘Little Woman’ because he insisted classic writing was more sophisticated than ‘today’s horrendous excuse for literature’. 

They had a nice time and Dean smiled happily as Micheal drove them to the movies in his Aston Martin, “So what movie should we see? The new marvel movie looks good.” 

Micheal smiled, glancing over at Dean, “Actually I had something else in mind.” 

Dean raised his brow, “Oh? Like what?” 

Micheal grinned wider, “There’s a little indie theatre that’s having a gay couples night. They’re showing all LGBTQ short films tonight. I thought you might like to try it.” 

Dean furrowed his brow. Gay movies? He didn't even think there were gay movies. I mean, he knew about brokeback mountain but that was about it, “I don’t know.”

Micheal continued to smile at him sweetly, “It’ll be great. I promise.” 

Dean sighed, “I guess. Nothing ventured nothing gained I suppose.” 

He didn't even feel the cracking brick inside his mind. 

::::

The movies turned out to be great. A lot of the films were funny and made Dean laugh, whereas others were sad. The one about two birds caged in the holocaust made him righteously angry. Than others were hot and heavy, leaving Dean blushing as he watched two men rock against each other on a kitchen counter. He didn't know that they were allowed to make something so graphic for public consumption (outside of straight-up porn).

He smiled at Micheal as he drove him back to his car at the diner, “I had a good time tonight.”

Micheal smiled, “I did too. Your very good company, Dean.” 

Dean noded, silence drifting over them as they pulled up beside the impala. 

Micheal turned to Dean, “I’d like to see you again Dean.” 

Dean blushed, “Uh. Yeah.” 

This was when you normally kissed right? Dean’s mind wandered unbidden to the condom still tucked away in his back pocket. Did you even need a condom for...for gay sex? Dean didn’t want to think too hard on that thought. 

“So uh...I guess I’ll talk to you later then?” Dean stuttered, going for the handle of the car when Micheal placed his hand on Dean’s chin.

“Don’t run away Dean,” He smiled softly, his lips moving in and Dean swallowed as they pressed against his. 

It was like the first time they had kissed, soft, unhurried, almost chaste. Dean kissed back slowly, like a question he wasn’t aware he was asking. Micheal seemed to know the answer, his hands twisting into Dean hair making him moan. 

He wasn’t thinking about girls this time. He wasn’t comparing it to Rhonda Hurley as Micheal pulled at his hair, he didn't compare it to Cassie as he nipped at his lips; but he did compare it to Benny as Micheal man-handled him to sitting on his lap, his knees digging into the car’s leather seats. 

“M-Micheal, what...” Dean gasped, his breath coming out in harsh pants as the man below him moved his lips towards his neck. 

“Shh, just relax Dean,” Micheal attached his lips to Dean’s jaw and sucked playfully. 

Dean whined, his arms instinctively wrapping around Michael’s neck, drawing him closer as his body sagged against his chest, “God.”

Micheal chuckled, his hands roaming freely over Dean’s back, “You are so beautiful, Dean.” 

Dean blushed, the words were not something he was used to hearing, “I don't know about that.” 

Micheal kissed his neck gently and pulled back to look at his face, “You are so beautiful.” 

Dean didn't really believe him. Micheal seemed unperturbed though, as the next minute his hands move to the buckle on Dean’s belt, undoing it swiftly. Dean blushed, his hands going to grab Micheal’s, “I don’t... I mean I’ve never...I’m not...”

Micheal smiled knowingly, “You’ve never been with a man before.”

Dean blushed, “Uh, no. Not...not like that. Not like this.” 

Micheal dragged his hands away from Dean’s belt, instead dragging soothingly across his chest, “If you don’t want to continue, I won’t force you.” 

Dean shuddered as Micheal’s fingers rubbed over his chest. Did he want to continue? He could feel his cock hardening in his pants; a realization that surprised him. He had never been turned on like this before, not at least with a man. Benny was a good kisser sure, but he hadn’t stirred this kind of arousal in him. 

He wasn’t gay...but maybe he was bisexual...he didn’t know. His mind forgot about the drag of Micheal’s hands as it plunged into self-denial and introspection. He whined softly, the scratching in his mind growing louder, more pronounced, as Micheal’s hands removed themselves from Dean’s chest to remove his jacket. 

“Dean? Are you alright?” Micheal looked at him worriedly, his hands stilling in their undress of the boy. 

Dean blinked, remembering exactly where he was, “I’m uh. I’m fine.” 

Would it really be so bad? To be bisexual? Dean thought of Benny, and his life. Benny never seemed anything but normal. He wasn’t unhappy, or even conflicted in his sexuality. Could he ever be that way? So sure of himself?

He looked at Micheal, the man’s lips still swollen from their earlier kisses. He was a handsome man. His dark hair wasn’t styled in the same gelled back way when they met, but he still looked incredible. His blue eyes were soft, gentle, and understanding in his nervousness. He wasn’t rushing Dean, he wasn’t aggressive like he had somehow expected.

Dr. Mortis’ words pounded violently in his mind, ‘Experience’. 

This would be an experience. Another experimentation seen as therapeutic only. He smiled at Micheal, “Keep going.” 

Micheal smiled back, “Tell me if you need to stop.” 

He pushed the last of Dean’s jacket over his shoulders and began working at the pearl buttons of his father’s old shirt. Dean was nervous. How could he not be? He had been shirtless around other guys, he had been naked around Benny before too; but those times had been different. There was no intimacy, no rush of hands sliding over his back, pulling him down against an erection that wasn’t his own. 

Dean whined, almost startled at the feel of Micheal’s cock pressing against them through their jeans. Micheal chuckled. 

Dean decided he would distract himself. He leaned forward to catch Micheal’s lips in a bruising, demanding kiss while the man pulled the rest of the buttons open on his shirt. Their tongues swirled around each other, stabbing and taking what they needed unapologetically. Micheal moaned, his hands stripping the rest of Dean’s shirt off. 

Dean groaned, pulling away from the kiss to bury his head in the older man’s shoulder. Micheal had begun to palm his erection through his too-tight jean’s. A friction that was pleasing and all-together too good to come from another man, “God, Micheal.”

Micheal chuckled, his hand continued to push against Dean’s cock, “It’s good?” 

Dean laughed, “Yes. Wasn't it obvious?” 

There was that old bravado. He was relaxing now, the hazy fog of lust obscuring any and all inner turmoil that he was currently feeling. 

Micheal grinned, his lips brushing against the juncture of Dean’s jaw, “Let me show you how good it can be.” 

The hand that had been palming his cock slipped up to undo the zip on Dean’s jeans, the metallic sound it made was an awakening for Dean. This was happening. He could back out now, but what would that say? Dean Winchester was no coward! What kind of man shied away from a bit of sex? 

He let Micheal pull his jeans and boxers down over his ass, falling just below the swell of rounded flesh. Dean was flushed, his erection pointing at Micheal almost accusingly; you did this!

Micheal moaned, “You are too perfect, Dean.” 

Dean chuckled, leaning back to look more fully at Micheal. Apparently had leaned back to far, as his back collided with the car horn, causing a loud blaring sound to startle him forward again, “Shit!” 

He fumbled, his half-off pants working against him as he fell forward onto Micheal, his legs sliding off the seat and onto the car floor. His face fell unceremoniously on Micheal’s lap and the man laughed, “Are you okay?” 

He was still chuckling at Dean as his hands wound their way into Dean’s hair. Dean blushed in embarrassment, his cock pressed against the cool leather of the seat, “Sorry. That scared the crap out of me.” 

Micheal chuckled, “I don’t think you need to be sorry. I kinda like this positon.”

Dean looked down at Micheal’s pants, only then realizing his mouth was mere inches from the other man’s erection. He blushed, “Oh, I uh...” 

Micheal ran his hand over Dean’s neck, “It’s okay Dean. Come, sit back up.” 

He opened the door of the car, allowing Dean to crawl into the abandoned parking lot. He made to sit back over Micheal the same way he had before but the man reached out to stop him, “Face the other way.” 

Dean rose his brow but nodded, sitting down over his lap and leaning his back against the older man’s chest, “Like this?” 

Michael wrapped his arms around Dean’s naked chest tightly, “Perfect.” His lips began sucking a bruise on Dean’s jaw. 

Dean moaned, pushing hips hips down unconsciously, “You...you’re too good at this.” 

Michael chuckled, “I haven’t even touched you yet.” 

Dean’s moans broke off into high-pitched whines as Michael spit into his palm and wrapped his warm, soft hand around his cock, “Oh god.” 

Michael stroked him him slowly, then faster, twisting his hand in a way that suggested nothing but experience as Dean sagged against him, too focused on the feel of it all to pay any attention to the scratching in his mind. To busy kissing Michael's throat to pay attention as the older man took his own cock out of his pants.

“Dean, I’m not going to enter you. Though trust me, I want to,” Micheal moaned. 

Dean blinked lazily as he looked at the man still stroking him expertly, “What?” 

Then he felt it, the warm head of Micheal’s cock rubbing against his crack, not pushing in, just grinding there. Dean shivered, a wave of pleasure rushing through him. 

“Oh god,” he didn’t know why he did it, but he rolled his hips against Michael, the heat and pressure against his ass an entirely new feeling that he was shocked to enjoy. 

Michael groaned into Dean’s neck at they rocked against each other, “Dean, you have no idea what you do to me.” 

Dean wasn’t paying attention to his words. He barely registered that this was a person beneath him, with thoughts and feelings; he could only focus on chasing that oncoming pleasure. That hazy white that came with orgasim. 

He didn’t have to wait long, his orgasim hitting him with all the force of a tidal wave, he cried out, shuddering against Micheal as thick white ropes splattered across the expensive dashboard of the Aston Martin. Dean would have thought it a shame to dirty such a beautiful car if it had not been for the warm, thick wetness that splashed against his back and ass. 

A broken moan, more bird than human crackled in his ear as Michael came all over him, “Dean, christ.” 

Dean panted, reality setting in as he shifted uncomfortably, “Um...”

What the fuck was he supposed to say? Thanks for the hand job, gotta run? What was the etiquette for this kind of thing? 

Michael sensed his unease, smiling against his neck and pulling Dean’s pants up again. Dean winced at the wet sticking feel of Micheal’s come squishing against his underwear, “So uh...”

Michael chuckled, “It was good.” 

Dean nodded, “Yeah.” 

Michael handed Dean his shirt and he took the opportunity to slip out of the open car door and shrug it over his shoulders, not bothering to do it up, “Can you pass me my jacket?” 

Michael smiled and handed Dean the jacket, “I had a good night, Dean. I’ll text you later?”

Dean nodded, flushed as he realized Michael had yet to push his cock back into his pants, “Yeah...uh, text you later.” 

Micheal smiled, shut his car door and drove off, leaving Dean in an abandoned parking lot, come on his back, and a sense of regret washing over him. 

He felt strangely like a cheap whore. The condom in his back pocket felt almost mocking as he drove home and snuck through the basement window and into his room. 

What a fine mess his mind was in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it is! Poor Dean. Michael isn't as sweet as he seems.


	15. Twigs and Mud and Scathing Hatred

“Have you thought about what I said?” 

“Yes.”

“Did you act on it?” 

Dean was reluctant to tell Dr. Mortis that he did in fact act upon his...what? Homosexual urges? That didn't sound right. It didn't matter whether he told him though; he had let him in once, there wasn’t anything stopping Dr. Mortis from prying through the back doors of Dean’s mind.

“Yes,” he said simply. Short, to the point, no specifics.

Dr. Mortis looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “Your mother informed me you had an...incident, the other day.” 

Dean sighed, stretching his body out further on the small couch in the therapist’s office, “I uh, I woke up in the woods.” 

“What did you see in the woods Dean?” Dr. Mortis was calm; his voice held all the sweetness of a scalpel.

Dean thought for a moment, “I don’t know...I saw trees; I saw native animals; I saw bushes and thorns and mud under my feet, caked under my nails...”

“Like you had been digging?” Dr. Mortis scribbled something illegible on his note pad. 

Dean sighed and lifted his hand in offering, “Yeah, sure. Like I had been digging. Benny thought I might have shifted, but I don’t think that’s what happened. I don’t feel any different.”

Dr. Mortis hummed thoughtfully, “Actually it’s a probability. If your subconscious is struggling to pull down the wall in your mind it might very well be seeking an outlet in which to relieve any tension it may be harbouring. It is uncommon, but not rare, for a victim of trauma to experience sleep-shifting.” 

Dean groaned dramatically, “I’m not a victim of trauma though! No one touched in me in any bad places, I've never been skydiving, the whole upstairs is in check!”

Dr. Mortis looked at him skeptically, “You may not be a victim of physical trauma, Dean; but trauma does not have to extend from outside influences. The human brain is capable of creating it’s own trauma through anxiety disorders, mood disorders, and a whole number of other means.” 

Dean raised his eyebrow, “So what? You think I’m anxious? Depressed? I don’t know if I fit the bill there doc.”  
Dr. Mortis gave Dean an annoyed look at the belligerent abbreviation, “No, but you do show characteristics of both.” 

He folded his hands over his lap neatly, his hands looked like too little skin stretched over fragile bone. Like a pale skeleton, his pallor too white. Dean shuddered to think about it. 

“I’m going to give you something to help with the sleepshifting. With luck, the next time you shift you will be fully aware,” He turned to his desk and scribbled something unintelligible onto a small prescription pad, before ripping of the sheet and handing it to Dean.

Dean sighed, “Thanks.” 

Dr. Mortis smiled, all toothy and unnerving, “Don’t worry, Dean. I sense you are very close to an end.” 

Dean only nodded, their session coming to a close, and his mind flayed and laid open as he left the quiet of the good doctor’s office.

::::

Dean was in a foul mood. He woke up on the front lawn, his shower was too cold because Sam used up all the hot water, his favorite shirt got turned pink in the wash; everything was going horribly. 

He growled as he stalked his way towards stockholm with Charlie on his arm.They didn’t normally meet on Monday, but Crowley wanted everyone there to make posters for the upcoming bake sale. 

“So...what’s got you all growly? Did your date not go well?” Charlie asked nicely as they exited the back door of the school. 

Dean whined, “It was fine. Great even; until he left me in the parking lot like a two-dollar whore.” 

Charlie winced, “Ouch. Have you spoken to him since?” 

Dean sighed, even more agitated and bummed out at the thought of Michael, “No. He said he was going to text me but he never did.”

Charlie frowned sympathetically, “I’m sorry, Dean.” 

Dean waved his hand dismissively as they made their way to the portable, “It’s fine. I mean, he was nice, and uh...attractive...but he wasn’t all that special I guess. Anyway, enough about me. How’s it going with you and Gilda?” 

Charlie smiled salaciously, “Oh it’s great. You'd think she was a rabbit and not a swan.” 

Dean choked, “Oh my god, I didn't ask for that much information.” 

Charlie laughed and smiled, “What? It’s true. Just ask your friend, Jo.” 

Dean shook his head, “I’m not getting into that. Besides, she’s a Brown Hare, not a rabbit.” 

Charlie scoffed as she opened the door, gesturing Dean to step inside, “It’s basically the same thing.” 

As they made their way to the rearranged desks (a bizarre square this time) Dean caught sight of Castiel and Anna talking at one of the corners. He made his way towards them; his overwhelming sense of responsibility and underlying attraction to Cas pulling him forward.

“So he told me, and I quote ‘I wish I got more out of him, but it was his first time and I wasn’t in the mood for hand holding.’ God, he’s such a jackass,” Anna frowned in frustration. 

Castiel furrowed his brow, “I’m inclined to agree with you.” 

Dean sat down next to Castiel, his brow raised a little at the snippet of conversation he caught, “What are you guys talking about?” 

Anna turned to Dean and sighed, “My cousin, Michael. He came to visit last night and told me, Lucifer, and Rachel all about his ‘sexual exploits’.” 

Dean swallowed, a rock dropping inside him, making him sick with dread, “O-Oh yeah?”

Anna nodded, “Yeah. My parents were out so he came over to cook and told us all about some guy he fucked in a parking lot. The stupid rich prick. He does this all the time; he treats some poor guy super nicely, takes what he wants and never calls them back. ‘The thrill of the chase’ he says.” 

Dean’s hands clenched against the desk, anger broiling through him, lighting up behind his eyes in a flash of angry red, “He sounds like a real asshole.” 

Castiel sighed, “It’s horrible. I remember my first time with a boy; his name was Jake Talley. He was a nice guy with plans to join the army and save the world. He would take me out to nice places and give me gifts, and each time he would ask to sleep with me. I said no. Everytime I said no, until I said yes. Then he dumped me. He didn't call me back, he didn't even look at me when we passed in the halls. It was like I was a ghost. If the man your cousin slept with was here, I’d tell him that guys like that aren’t worth his time, and that he can do so much better.” 

Dean blinked at Castiel, his hand relaxing only just, “Really?” 

Castiel looked at him and smiled softly, “Of course. He deserves someone who will make him happy. Someone who won’t leave him.” 

Anna nodded in agreement, “Yeah. No one deserves that. Especially for their first time.”

Dean relaxed, somehow knowing that they sympathized with him, even if they didn't know it was him, was a comfort, “Yeah.” 

Castiel smiled at Dean and he felt the air in his throat catch. Castiel seemed so nice. Granted he had just met the guy, but he was so genuine. He didn't seem fake, he was just nice. Sincerity in it’s purest form.

“So I was thinking, if you're free tonight we could go to those scrub bushes after school?” Castiel smiled, the little dimples in his cheeks crinkled with mirth. 

Dean smiled back, “Yeah. That sounds good.

Dean hardly payed attention as Crowley shoved a box of markers and poster board in his face, “Get drawing, Winchester. You can make goo goo eyes at the birdy after this bake sale is over.”

:::::

Dean walked with Cas down the familiar path in the woods. Cas had informed him he lived just on the other side of it.

“It’s a pleasant walk at least. Plenty of room to think,” Castiel smiled, his shoulders brushing up against Dean on the narrow path.

Dean chuckled, ignoring the warmth radiating from his shoulder, “Sometimes I think I have too much room.” 

Castiel hummed thoughtfully, “You must have heavy thoughts then.” 

Dean sighed, “I guess so.” 

They fell into a comfortable silence as they walked through the tall pines and oaks. The two trees warred against each other on either side; their roots tangled in an underground struggle. Dean felt a resonating familiarity to this forest. 

Castiel smiled excitedly as they neared a patch of scrub bushes and thorns, “Here it is!”

Dean watched as Cas flitted towards the foliage, his blue striped hoodie slipping from his arms as he ran. 

Dean chuckled, “They're just bushes, Cas.”

Dean looked at him skeptically as he met the other boy near the plants, “These have thorns in them.” 

Castiel nodded and smiled, “I know. Native scrub jays wouldn't usually pick this spot for a nest, but this is the place I’ve chosen. I've made a deliberate path to the inside of the bushes where I built a nest. The thorns act as an extra layer of protection. They aren't too common in this forest, but native predators are something to be wary of.” 

Dean nodded, “I see. So where’s this path anyway?” 

Castiel smiled and pointed to a small hole in the thick of the bushes, just big enough for a bird to fly into, “If you kneel down you can sort of see my nest. It’s not ready yet of course. It’s just rods and pins right now, but I don’t always have to time to come over. My mom built hers in one of the pines. She’s a Harbinger Falcon, so she needs a much bigger nest.” 

Dean chuckled, “So all air-shifters really do that then? Make nests?” 

Castiel blushed and shrugged, “Not all of them. Some of us are perfectly content with our houses; some build nests in their houses, and some of us have to strong of a nesting urge to ignore.” 

Dean nodded, “I get that. Like sea-shifters need the water, or dog-shifters need a pack. Just another instinct.” 

Castiel nodded, “Exactly. Here, see those twigs up there, hanging off that low branch?” 

He pointed to a few twigs, snapped in the wind maybe. Dean nodded, “Yeah?” 

“Those are the kind of twigs I look for when building a nest. They are loose and easy to free, but they are new growth, so still soft and easy to bend into shape,” he reached up on his tip toes and plucked them from the tree. 

“Once I bend them into place I use my beak to scoop up mud to hold it together,” Castiel smiled.

“Okay, so like cement?” Dean watched as Castiel twisted the twigs in his hand and nodded.

“Yes. Once the structure of the nest is finished I’ll line it with moss and soft leaves. Again, it’s something native scrub jays don’t particularly do, but I find it adds comfort,” he scratched his nails against the twigs, peeling back light bark to reveal bright green wood.

“Yeah, I can't imagine twigs are too comfy by themselves,” Dean grinned happily. 

Castiel smiled, “Here, these will get you started. If you need help weaving them together you can call me.” 

He placed the twigs in Dean’s hand, his fingers brushing lightly over Dean’s wrist as he pulled them away.

Dean furrowed his brow, “Thanks. But I don’t have your number.” 

Castiel made a small ‘oh’ sound before pulling a marker out of his black leather purse, “Here, give me your hand.” 

Dean stretched his arm out to Castiel and the other boy scrawled his number into his skin, “There. Now you have my number.” 

Dean looked down at the pink sharpie etched into his skin, something warm and sharp bleeding through him at the sight. 

“Thanks, Cas,” he smiled.

“Your welcome, Dean,” Castiel led them back to the school, his shoulder brushing seemingly closer to Dean’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, Micheal's a douche. AND CASTIEL IS A PRECIOUS BABY! Also Charlie getting all the lesbian sex cause SHE DESERVES IT!!!
> 
> Next chapters will be more of a Dean introspection Chapter, followed by one-on-one with Castiel, then some trio fun, and on from there. But that's a look. 
> 
> This is a slow burner, you should all be aware of that by now. 
> 
> And for those wondering about Dean's shift, you'll be waiting a little bit longer, cause it's not gonna happen for at least, like, ten chapters, or something equally ridiculous. I didn't mean for this fic to be that long, but this is where the characters have led me so oh well. You can wait! 
> 
> But there are SEVERAL hints hidden in the story. So I dare you to guess the shift!


	16. Saturnalia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saturnalia was an ancient Roman festival in honor of the deity Saturn, held on 17 December of the Julian calendar and later expanded with festivities through to 23 December. The holiday was celebrated with a sacrifice at the Temple of Saturn, in the Roman Forum, and a public banquet, followed by private gift-giving, continual partying, and a carnival atmosphere that overturned Roman social norms: gambling was permitted, and masters provided table service for their slaves. The poet Catullus called it "the best of days."

Apparently nest building was not as easy as it looked. 

Dean spent the better part of an hour scrapping his way up trees to reach soft twigs, a small jar of mud abandoned at the foot of a tall pine. Cas had left shortly after giving Dean the small glass object, a reverent promise that he'd help Dean if he needed.

He should have taken him up on it, but his pride, as always, got the better of him. 

“Damn it!” He cursed as his ass hit the ground with a hard thud. “This would be so much easier with a set of wings.” 

He found himself whining in frustration; a sound that he was now used it hearing slip from his throat. He pulled himself to his feet again, a steadfast determination to not let a pine get one over on him. 

He stretched his arms out to the thick bottom branch again, his feet braced on a rock close by. He pulled himself over the branch and sat there. He had gotten this far four times already, but all new growth was up on the next branch, a feat he had not yet made. 

He growled, his arms grabbing the trunk of the tree as he stood on shaky feet. He curled his toes over the harsh bark, having discarded his shoes on the third try in an attempt for better grip. 

He slid his arms slowly up the trunk to grab onto the thinner branch above him. With a careful, somewhat calculated swing, Dean pressed his thighs to the tree, attempting to find purchase as he hauled himself over. 

But his feet slipped again, his thighs weren't strong enough to push him over, and he fell. Short, and fast, and on his back in three seconds. 

He groaned, frustrated and sore, “Screw this.” 

He glowered at the thick canopy of pine branches above him, “I bet you feel so smug right now. The big stupid tree that kicked Dean Winchester’s ass.” 

A long sigh past through him. He was reluctant to try again and instead decided to lie there.

He looked at the twists and turns of branches and twigs and imagined the push and pull of blue wings as they manouvered through them. Castiel was probably an expert flyer. Dean had only seen the boy shift once, but the image was still ingrained in his mind. Castiel’s wings seemed strong. Though they were small they could no doubt carry his body more than effectively.

Dean wondered if Castiel flew often. If he had a sky roof in his home for him to fly in and out at leisure. He wondered if Castiel preferred flying over driving like he knew Benny did not. 

He wondered at Castiel’s wildness. 

It was a simple term, with a simple meaning. In the world there were people who were more wild than others; those who were more animal than human. 

Dean had once read something about the wolf-shifters of Chernobyl; a group of people who never shifted to their human forms, preferring to stay wolf in a land that was no longer kind. Dean remembered another article about the Goat-shifters in the swiss mountains; spending their days in their shift in order to easily move over the rough terrain in which they lived. Or the seal-shifter tribe of Ireland; migrating through the waters of the atlantic, changing their form only when necessary. 

He wondered at Castiel’s wildness. Was he the kind of person who only stayed human in public? Did he turn into a bird the moment social custom dictated he could? No, dean had a feeling that Cas was not wild like that. He had a fire in his eyes, but not one that ached of wilderness.

Dean sighed, he had sometimes wondered about his own wildness. When he finally shifted would he be so elevated that being human again would seem like an affront to his nature? Or would he finally shift only to find that it didn't suit him? 

He couldn't be sure of anything. 

He pushed himself out of the dirt and dry leaves, gathered up his things and headed home with only a meager pile of twigs to show for all his efforts.

::::::

There was a small tapping on his window that night. Fast, and loud and extremely irritating. Had he not already been awake it would have woken him up.

“What the hell?” Dean pushed back from his desk where a half-finished nest slumped pathetically against a shoe box. 

He opened the latch on the small basement window and pushed it open, the breeze whipping coldly over his bare chest. A blur of black and white pushing past his face in the next instant; a magpie and a bat flew into his room and landed on a small bird’s perch he kept in the corner. 

“Benny? What the hell? Is that Gabriel?” Dean scowled at Benny hanging from the perch, his bat wings flapping stupidly as he screeched. 

The magpie, that Dean assumed to be Gabriel, screeched in amusement, his head bobbing up and down and his wings ruffled. 

“In english morons,” He growled and the two of them flew to the floor, shifting in swirls of blood and sugar.

“Get some clothes on, we’re going clubbing,” Gabriel smirked, his arms folded over his chest. He was wearing some god-awful floral thing that made him look like a pimp. All he needed was a cheest mustache. 

“You want to go clubbing? Now?” Dean looked at the clock, it was only ten, but still.

Benny chuckled, “Come on brother, it will be fun. Gabe set up with some of the other’s from Stockholm.” 

Dean frowned, “Since when you were all buddy buddy with this guy?” 

Gabriel rolled his eyes, “Please, stop pretending like you don’t love me.” 

Dean raised his brow, “I really don’t.” 

Benny laughed at Gabriel’s put upon face. He himself was wearing a plain white t-shirt underneath a tight-fitting leather jacket, “Come with us Dean; Crowley, Lucifer, Anna, Gilda, Charlie, Rachel; almost everyone is going to be there. I think Lisa and Kevin are the only ones who aren’t.”

Dean sighed, casting a cursory glance at the decaying nest on his desk, “Fine. I’ll go.” 

Gabriel grinned, “Awesome! Now get something on, cause as much as it would pain me to see those gorgeous abs of yours covered up it’s apparently one of those no shirt no shoes places.”

Dean rolled his eyes and turned his back on his friends to riffle through his closet. He pulled a dark green flannel shirt from it’s hook and slung it over his shoulders before slipping into a pair of jeans.

Gabriel raised his brow, “Really, Dean? Flannel?” 

Dean glared at him, “It’s better than looking like a pimp from a 90’s porno.” 

Benny laughed at the two of them, “Let’s just get going before the two of you wake up the rest of the pack.” 

Gabriel shrugged, shifting on the spot and flying back out Dean’s window. 

Benny clapped his hand on Dean’s shoulder, “We'll meet you at the car. It’s parked on the corner of the street.” 

Dean nodded and Benny shifted, following Gabriel out the window. He sighed, grabbing his wallet off the table and shoving into his back pocket before hoisting himself through the small window with a little struggle. 

“Ugh, I’m way too big to be doing this,” He groaned, his butt brushing the framing of the window as he shoved himself through. 

He meandered his way out of the side yard and onto the street. He groaned at the sight before him, “Really, Gabriel?” 

Gabriel smirked from behind the wheel of his lime green lincoln continental with gold fucking rims, “My bastard father sends me allowance for my silence.” 

Dean rolls his eyes and opens the back door, “So you buy a fucking pimp-mobile. You are the skeeviest.” 

Benny doesn't say anything from the passenger seat, just smiles as he listens to the two banter as Gabriel drives them too the club. 

“At least i’ll be getting some action tonight!” Gabriel accuses, starring Dean down through the rear-view mirror.

Dean scoffs, “Yeah, not with that shirt.” 

Gabriel glares, “There is nothing wrong with my shirt.” 

Dean laughs, “Yeah, okay pal.” 

Gabriel hums in annoyance as he drives them the rest of the way. He pulls into a little parking lot across from a booming club that Dean’s never been to before. The kids from Lawrence tend to hang out at this place called ‘Insomnia’ when they venture into KC; but Dean has never seen this place before. 

They pile out of the car and head across the road where Dean spots Crowley, Aaron and Golan hanging around outside, waiting in line to get it. A small glowing sign above the doorway announces the club’s name as being, ‘Saturnalia’. 

Crowley notices Dean’s staring as they approach, “It’s fitting isn't it? Nothing says ‘Gay Bar’ quite like a bit of debauchery.” He smirks and pats Dean firmly on the ass as he stops beside him.

Dean smacks his hand away, “Stop that. And a gay club! You didn't tell me we were going to a gay club, Benny!” 

Benny shrugged, “I thought it would have been obvious.” 

“Yeah, Dean!” Aaron chuckled from where he and his big ass boyfriend were leaning on the brick wall, “Where else would a bunch of homo teenagers go?” 

Dean shrugged, he had a point.

Charlie pulled up in her volkswagen beetle soon after, Gilda on her arm as they made their way over to the six of them, “Hello, boys. You guys miss us?” 

Crowley gave her a little smirk, “As always, darling.”

Charlie rolled her eyes, “So where are the others?” 

“Well, Kevin had some extra credit thing so he’s not coming. Lisa is sucking face with her boyfriend so she’s a no show. Anna and Rachel are already inside. Lucifer is inside too I think. Balthazar is on his way with homemade cookies. I swear, the guy acts more gay than I do,” Crowley waved his arms a little as he talked, the black suit jacket he wore bunching up at his elbows just slightly. 

Dean hummed, “Okay.” 

He wondered if anyone had thought to invite Castiel. He said as much as they moved along in the line, the pink sharpie on his arms somehow burning distractingly.

“Castiel? The new fellow you're so fond of?” Crowley asked, his smirk still held firmly in place. “I must admit that you have good taste, the boy is quite the enigma.” 

Dean frowned, “So no?” 

“Course not, it’s not as if any of us have his number,” Crowley scoffed as they moved further along in the line.

Dean rolled up his sleeve, revealing the hot pink numbers scrawled on his forearm, “Here. We should invite him along.” 

Benny slung his arms around Dean’s shoulder and chuckled, “Look at you! Blossoming like a spring flower under the attentions of a blue bird.” 

Dean blushed and scowled, “Shut up and give me your phone.”

Benny chuckled, pulling his smart phone from his jacket pocket and placing it in Dean’s hand, his arm not moving from his shoulder.

Dean didn't shrug him off as he dialed. The phone rang through twice before a soft, sleepy voice answered, “Hello?”

“Cas? It’s Dean,” he supplied.   
“Oh! Dean! Are you having trouble with the nest?” Castiel’s voice perked up a little.

Dean laughed in a self-deprecating manner, “Oh, I'm having heaps of trouble, but that’s not why I called you.” 

“Oh?” Castiel’s voice was curious and a tad excited as well. “Why are you calling, Dean?” 

Dean smiled, “I was wondering if you wanted to come out tonight? A bunch of us from Stockholm are at this gay club in Kansas City. I thought it would be a good way for you to meet some more people.”

Castiel sighed, “I would Dean, but I can’t.” 

Dean frowned, the happy feeling that he was unaware of in his stomach suddenly turned sour with disappointment, “Oh.” 

Castiel sighed again, “My mom needs my help with unpacking still. We've been at it since I got home and I'll probably go to bed right after. Maybe next time okay?”

Dean nodded, “Yeah, uh. Okay. Talk to you later then.” 

“Good night, Dean,” Castiel hung up the phone.

“So?” Gilda smiled from where she leaned against Charlie’s side, arm around her waist, “Is he coming?” 

Dean sighed, “No. He’s not.” 

:::::

Once they were in the club Dean ordered a couple shots of lower shelf whiskey and downed one easily. He didn't drink often, but his familiarity with Bobby’s liquor cabinet gave him a certain ease to spirits that most his age would be shocked at. Bobby had shared more whiskey and cheap beer with Dean through the years than anyone would think decent to provide a minor. Of course, now that he was eighteen it was all perfectly legal. The U.S had taken to lowering the drinking age to similarly match their brothers to the north.

Dean looked around at the swarm of gyrating bodies on the dance floor, looking around at his friends scattered about the place. They had come together but they certainly hadn't stayed that way. When they had entered they met Anna and Rachel at a large booth, their home base for the night, but soon after they dispersed. 

Anna was laughing cheerily with a group of guys at the end of the bar, obviously straight and just happy to be around people it seemed. 

Rachel was plastered against a stranger in their booth, her sharply angled lips slotted against his roughly. 

Balthazar had dropped a basket of cookies on the table when he arrived before throwing himself into the throng of bodies, grinding filthily against Crowley as the other brit pulled a strange boy towards his own hips. It was like some dirty dancing three-way. 

Charlie and Gilda were dancing too, no less urgent than the others, but less filthy and more tender in their movements. 

Golan had Aaron pressed against a wall in the back, his large hand lower below the waist than Dean was willing to look.

Gabriel was flirting shamelessly with the bouncer near the door, hanging off him and complimenting his muscles. 

Dean sighed. 

“Come on now, Dean. Don't let something little like Castiel not coming ruin your night,” Benny slid into the stool next to him with a beer and smile.

“I’m not-” he began to say.

“Yes you are. I know you're not much of a dancer, but at least try to have fun,” Benny slapped his arm on Dean’s shoulder like he always does. “Go flirt with somebody, break a few more bricks in that wall of yours.” 

Dean sighed, “I’d rather not Benny. I still haven't recovered from the last time. A day isn't really enough time.” 

Benny frowned, “What do you mean?” 

Dean sighed, turning towards his friend, “I mean Michael is a douche bag. I was talking to Anna at lunch and she was saying that her cousin just uses people for what he wants and drops them like a sack of yesterday’s potatoes.” 

Benny frowned in sympathy, “I’m sorry brother,” 

Dean turned his eyes away from him, “Yeah well...” he downed another shot. 

Benny rubbed his hand over Dean in a comforting circle, “You're too good looking for him anyway.” 

Dean snorts at that, “Gee, thanks. That makes me feel loads better.” 

Benny laughs, “What? It’s true. If that little thing between us had worked out you’d have had me begging on my knees for your cock right now.” 

Dean’s eyes widened in mortification, “Oh my god...”

Crowley slipped into the stool on the other side of Benny then, a wicked smirk on his face, “Don’t traumatized the poor boy.”

Benny chuckled and Dean glared at Crowley, “You stay out of this.” 

“What? I’m helping! Besides, it’s not like I wouldn't kill for a similar position,” Crowley racked his eyes up and down Dean’s body and he shivered. 

“What is this? Make Dean as uncomfortable as possible night?” he whined, tipping another shot of whiskey down his throat. 

“Does the idea of a blowjob upset you that much?” Balthazar had somehow wound his way into the conversation, placing himself on Dean’s other side. 

“When it’s from a guy it does!” Dean scowled. 

“What about from Cas?” Benny asked.

Dean’s face was blank with surprise, “What?” 

Benny shrugged, “You've only known the guy three days but you look at him like he’s some god-sent gift.” 

Dean blinked, the thought of Castiel’s lips flashed through his mind. He imagined them mouthing at his thighs, sliding over him as he-

He shook his head, a blush across his face, “I hardly know him.” 

Balthazar pointed at him accusingly, “You don’t have to know him to be attracted to him.” 

Dean didn't reply. The words heavier than they seemed. Was he attracted to Cas? Sure the guy had nice eyes, and soft looking hair, and plush lips, and....fuck. 

Yeah. He was attracted to Cas. 

Another brick crashed violently in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's the next chapter! It took me a while cause I was drowning in feels at the upcoming season finale and had to weep and slap myself to finish this. So yeah! I hope you enjoyed it. This is one of the big steps for Dean. Now all he has to do is say to himself, and preferably out loud that he is Bisexual!


	17. Apple Pie

Dean had managed to make a decent enough nest with Castiel’s help. It was a little wobbly, and he ended up using a glue gun, but he got the job done. 

Castiel smiled at Dean as he poked at the mossy mess on his desk, “It’s good Dean. I’m sure you’ll get a good grade on it.”

Dean shrugged, “I don’t know about that. I like yours better.” 

Castiel had reconstructed his bedroom almost perfectly in miniature size, right down to the dirty socks. Apparently Cas had a photographic memory and only needed to see his room once to remember every detail about it. 

“Do you do that stuff for a hobby or something? Cause you are like...van gogh good at miniatures,” Dean leaned over to inspect the small painted numbers on his mini-room’s alarm clock. 

Castiel smiled sheepishly, “No I, uh, I just like making things in general I guess.”

Dean nodded, “Yeah. Okay.” 

Cas swatted his hand away when he went to poke at the little bed, “It’s very delicate.”

Dean moved his hand away, blushing like a scolded child, “Sorry.” 

“Alright! Hand in your projects. Just put them on the table in the back and then turn your books to page 401,” Garth boomed across the classroom, his eyes shallow and dark, he looked like shit.

As the class shuffled to the back to place their projects on the back table Benny slid up to Dean’s side, “What do you reckon is up with Garth? The guy looks like someone threw him through a woodchipper.” 

Dean shrugged, “I don’t know, beats me.” 

“He was out drinking with my mom last night,” Castiel came to his other side, “He’s a light weight. I’m guessing he’s just hungover.” 

Dean made a small ‘huh’ sound , “Didn't take him for the type.” 

Cas nodded, “Yes. He doesn't normally drink much, but my mom had a bad day at work and convinced him to go out with her. My mother is...well she’s a bit of an alcoholic. She works for big pharmaceutical company so she’s no stranger to self-medicating.”

Dean only gives Cas a sympathetic smile as they head back to their desks. He remembers how his dad used to get when he drank. For awhile when he was a bit of an emotionally abusive alcoholic. It wasn’t until Bobby and Mary sent him to rehab after one too many stints at the local bar that he turned himself around. Now he only drinks on weekends or if Bobby comes over. It’s better than when he was getting blitzed at three o’clock on a Tuesday. 

Dean sat down in his seat next to Cas, paying a modicum of attention to the discussion about half-formed shifts. He didn't care about being stuck half-way through a shift since he didn't have one yet. 

Benny leaned over his shoulder, his head resting between his and Castiel’s faces, “One of my sisters half-shifted once. She had bat-wings instead of arms for an entire month. It would have been funny if she hadn't had such a temper about it. 

Castiel frowned, “That doesn't sound fun at all. What good is it to have your wings if you cannot use them? I could think of nothing worse for an air shifter than not being able to touch the skies.” 

Benny hummed, “I suppose. But then again I've never been a fan of flying. It’s who I am I suppose, but I like to keep my feet firmly planted most days.” 

“I don’t think I’ll become an air shifter, so no worries on my end,” Dean took to scribbling as they talked in hushed tones to avoid Garth noticing.

“Why is that Dean?” Castiel frowned.

Benny chuckled, “The guy hates flying. Can’t stand airplanes.”

“Airplanes crash okay! They’re flying metal death traps and not to be trusted,” he scowled. 

Castiel chuckled, “You know planes are very safe, Dean.” 

Dean frowns, “That’s just what they want you to think. Besides, I've felt phantom paws before, so no way I’m a bird.” 

Benny nodded, “He’s probably some kind of dog, or at least something in the dog family. With that whine of his though....” 

As if prompted just at the mention of it Dean let out a whimpering whine, something akin to an embarrassed yelp. He scowled and placed a hand over his mouth while Benny laughed. He was well and truly offended by his anatomy at this point.

“Yeah that’s the one!” Benny slapped Dean on the shoulder and leaned back in his seat to listen to the lesson. 

Dean growled, “Shut up you screechy bastard.” 

Castiel smiled, his hands tugging at the hem of his light blue sundress as he looked at Dean, “I think it’s kinda cute, actually.” 

Dean blinked and looked over at Cas in disbelief, “Really?”

Cas nodded, “Yeah, It’s unique....very...you.” 

Dean let the small acceptance seep in and he smiled, “Uh, thanks Cas.” 

Cas smiled wider, “Your welcome, Dean. Um...I was wondering...the bake sale is in three days and I need to make the pies the night before. Would you come help me?”

Dean grinned, “Yeah, Cas. I’d like that.” 

::::

Dean rang Cas’s doorbell on the Thursday. He wasn’t sure how big of a help he was going to be, but he still wanted to know more about Cas. He was still relatively a stranger, having only known him for a month or so, but he was starting to realise his attraction to the other boy more and more. He liked his hair; the way it always seemed carefully ruffled but was more likely just excessive bedhead. He liked the confidence he had in his wardrobe; the fact that Castiel wore skirt and dresses without caring about what others said too much (and they did say things; Dean had nearly decked a guy for calling Cas a fag). He liked his eyes; they always seemed a different shade of blue, as if every angle he looked at them revealed another layer. He liked his smile; the way his lips crinkled at the corners and his eyes squinted until you cold hardly see them, so full a smile that it took up his entire face. He really liked Castiel, despite knowing barely anything about him. He seemed delicate; feminine.

He heard a shuffling behind the door and the lock jiggling as Castiel opened the door. He stood in front of Dean, a pair of worn jeans on his hips and an old beatles shirt on his shoulders. He had a frilly red apron tied around his waist.

Dean looked at the flour smeared on Cas’s face and laughed, “You lose a fight with the blender?” 

Castiel tilted his head to the side, “Did I what? I don’t understand, why would I be fighting an inanimate object?” 

Dean rolled his eyes with a smile, stepping past Castiel and into the house. He kicked off his shoes and threw down his bag as Castiel closed the door, “Just an expression, Cas. You have flour on your face.” 

Castiel blushed as Dean pointed to a spot just under his left eye, his hand immediately wiping it away. 

Dean smiled, “Better. So....where do you want me?” 

Castiel coughed awkwardly, “Uh...the kitchen is this way.” 

He pointed down the hall and Dean dutifully followed.

::::

Castiel sprinkled flour over the large marble island in the middle of his kitchen, his hands looking almost ghostly covered in the white powder. 

“Why are you doing that?” Dean leaned over Cas’s shoulder as he smoothed the flour over the stone surface.

Castiel smiled, “I made the dough this morning so it would have time to chill. All we have to do is make the fillings and roll out the crust. But in order to roll out the crust you have to spread flour out so the dough doesn't stick to the counter.” 

Dean nodded, “Okay. So what should I do?” 

Castiel slapped his hands together, the excess powder on his fingers flying in the air like fairy dust. He turned and wiped his hands on his apron, “You are going to make the apple pie filling. Start peeling and cutting that crate of apples over there.” 

He pointed to a crate of apples sitting on a stool in the corner. There had to be at least 40 of them. Dean let out a low whistle, “Damn. That is a lot of apples.” 

Cas chuckled, “And that’s just the apple pies. We also have the pecan, strawberry-rhubarb, and the savoury meat pies for the carnivore crowd. Those we’ll do last.”

Dean’s eyes widened a little, “You sure your not...I don’t know...biting off more than you can chew?” 

Castiel shrugged, “Not really. I like baking. Besides, I have you here to help me, right?”

His smile was crinkly and sweet as he pulled a massive tub of pie dough from his fridge and set it on the counter. Dean was happy that Castiel’s mom seemed to be well off enough to afford a near industrial sized kitchen. 

“So your mom like to cook? Your kitchen is huge!” Dean took the peeler and knife that Castiel offered him and set to work on the apples.

Castiel scoffed softly, “No, uh. My mother is not the cooking type. She’s more the, work till midnight, sleep at the office type. She’s not home often. No, Naomi Novak is ever the career woman.”

Dean hummed in acknowledgement, unable to offer words of comfort or sympathy in a situation where he wasn’t sure it qualified. 

Castiel sighed and smiled, “But she’s not a bad mother most days. She loves me enough, she even moved us out here when I was getting beat up too often at school. She doesn't care that I’m gay, doesn't care what I wear. As long as I get good grades and stay off drugs she’s amicable.” 

“Free reign as long as you benefit the company?” Dean rose his brow.

Cas shrugged, “More or less.” 

Dean nodded, slicing the first apple and throwing them in a large pot on the stove.

:::::

They worked well together. A well-oiled pie-making machine. They had made at least three dozen pies in total. It was one in the morning when they finished, a pile of pies stacked in boxes for the bake sale.

They collapsed beside each other on Castiel’s couch, tired from kneading dough and warm from the heat of the ovens. Dean sighed, “Ugh, I think I’ll stick to just eating pies from now on.” 

Cas laughed happily, his head resting near Dean’s on the back of the couch, “I think the amount of baking we did would put anyone off of it for a while.” 

Dean nodded, “Oh yeah.” 

They sat beside each other, arms spread out, legs dangling closer to the other’s than either realized. And unitentionally intimate entanglement that neither had instigated. 

Dean yawned, aware of the time, yet reluctant to move. They had spent much of the afternoon and night focused completely on pie; he hardly got to know anything about Cas. 

“So...um...what’s your favourite movie?” Dean asked sheepishly.

“My favourite movie?” Castiel crinkled his brow. 

“Yeah,” Dean shrugged, his shoulders brushing against Cas with the small movement, “I mean... I want to get to know you. You’re a... You’re a nice guy, Cas.” 

Castiel smiled, “Thank you, Dean. I’d like to get to know you too.” 

Dean smiled, “Great! And ugh, mine is The Untouchables.”   
Castiel chuckled, “I always was fond of Costner.” 

Dean grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is total filler.... but i'm sick....so sick...but i needed to update... for you.... you guys owe me....also pie.....


	18. Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS FUCKING CHAPTER I SWEAR TO GOD. I rewrote this thing like... four time until I was satisfied. But here it is! Finally, after a week of cursing at my word processor. Also I wanted to thank everyone who wished me get wells! I'm not sick anymore so yay!

Dean had trouble keeping his eyes open as he and the rest of Stockholm sold their frankly ridiculous amount of baked goods. The pies they had made were going fast, some students buying entire pies and others just buying slices. Either way it was going great. 

But Dean was dead tired. He had forgone his nocturn to help Cas bake and by the time he got home it was too late to take them. He found himself drifting slowly as he leaned his head against the brick wall of the foyer.

“Dean! At least try and stay awake!” Charlie slapped him lightly on the knee.

He batted her away, “Shhhhhh...sleepy.”

Benny, who had been handling the till chuckled, “Aw, let the boy sleep, Red. He was up all night sweet talking the birdie over there.” 

Benny shrugged his shoulder in the direction of Cas; slicing up pies and smiling like the sun. 

Charlie chuckled, “And did you get anywhere with that Dean?” 

Dean groaned, only half paying attention to what his friends were saying, “What?” 

Charlie rolled her eyes, “Did you ask Castiel out yet or what?” 

Dean whined, an aggravated yipping sound that made Gabriel cackle from his perch. They were allowed to shift during breaks, so a lot of the group was in animal form except for the ones with allocated tasks. 

Crowley for example insisted on staying human so he could bark orders. Gabriel and Balthazar had dragged a large perch to their stand and were now nattering away in their heads. Charlie herself had her hands full of swan feathers as she preened her girlfriend’s feathers. Dean thought it a bit intimate an act for the hallways, but Charlie had always been.... ‘sexually progressive’. 

Benny slapped Dean on the shoulder, “So?” 

Dean rolled his eyes and straightened out his back, “No man. I didn't ask the guy out. We did talk a lot though.” 

Benny rose his brow with a smirk, “Oh? What about?” 

Dean shrugged, “I don’t know man. Stuff.” 

Dean chanced a look at Castiel. He was handing some girl a slice of pecan pie with a big bright smile on his face and thumbs up for good measure. He was cute today; a pair of ill-fitting slacks and a rumpled button down made him look like a shrunken businessman. Even the backwards blue tie was endearing to Dean.

As if he knew Dean had been staring, Cas looked over at him and gave a little wave. Dean grinned and waved back sleepily. 

Charlie chuckled wholeheartedly and Dean turned his attention back to her. Gilda had shifted on her lap and was now kissing her cheek affectionatly. 

It made Dean’s heart ache in a weird way.

Benny rose his brow, “What kind of stuff?”

Dean shrugged, “You know, just random crap you ask to get to know one another; like his favourite book is Harry Potter, not because he likes the plot but because he likes the fact that it’s inspired so many people; or that his favourite snack is pork rinds and he’s not even a carnivore; and he likes to wear feminine clothing as a way to ‘stick it to traditional gender roles’ and the ‘feel of stockings is life changing’.” 

Benny snorted in amusement, “Life changing huh?” 

Dean lifted his hands in dismissal, “Apparently. He’s a dorky guy. A weird....dorky, little guy.” 

Benny hummed, “Sounds like you like him.” 

Dean shrugged, "Yeah. He's cool." 

Benny smiled, "You should ask him out." 

Dean spluttered and blushed, "Dude! No! I mean...he's good looking...but no." 

Charlie and Gilda laughed, apparently catching enough of the conversation for the redhead to comment, "Dean, you look at the guy like he's made of sunbeams and unicorns."

Dean huffed, "Have you seen him shift? It practically is the sun!" 

Charlie laughed again and Benny joined in, "Brother you are so whipped." 

Dean scowled, "I am not whipped." 

"Dean?" Castiel seemed to come out of nowhere and Dean jumped in surprise. 

"Cas! Don't do that! You scared the crap out of me!" Dean sighed, "What's up?" 

"I was wondering if you wanted to take home some leftover pies? The bake sale will be over in ten minutes and I have a feeling that forty pies might have been too many, " Cas frowned at the stack of pies with a frown. There had to be at least a dozen left. 

Dean smiled, "You must be an angel, Cas. A pie angel. Yes. Yes, I am totally taking those pies." 

Cas smiled one of those crinkly smiles that lit up his entire face, "I can help you carry them home if you like?" 

Dean nodded, "Thanks, Cas. That would be great." 

Cas nodded and left. Benny chuckled and Charlie cracked the air with her imaginary whip. Dean refused to acknowledge them. 

::::

As he and Castiel walked to his house with six pies each in hand he took the time to think in their companionable silence. 

He was attracted to Cas. He'd accepted that. He accepted that his feelings toward him might not be entirely based just in friendship alone. After the bar, and after last night he had begun thinking of Castiel in the way he had let himself think of Benny or Michael (who still hadn't called; the bastard.) He thought of how it might feel to kiss Cas. 

Granted they were short musings, often overthrown by other, bigger worries such as a phantom itch near his tailbone or the increasingly annoying sleepshifting that had him waking up in the front yard covered in dirt. He really had too much on his mind to be thinking to hard about the fact that he was likely bisexual and certainly attracted to the scrub jay. 

Castiel hummed as they walked together, a slight bounce to his step. He seemed happy. 

Dean smiled, "So what's got you so cheerful?" 

Castiel smiled, "Hmm? Oh, I'm just in a good mood I guess."

Dean nodded, "That's good, I guess." 

They continued walking in silence until they reached Dean's house and had placed all the pies in the fridge.

Dean smiled, "Thanks for helping me bring these home. It would have been hard to carry them home myself. Of course, I could have always turned Charlie into a pack otter." 

Castiel laughed, "It wasn't a big deal. I'm sure Charlie would have preferred this option anyway." 

They were alone in his kitchen. Sam was at some study group and his parents were still at work. Dean stared at Cas. He was wearing a tan trench coat over his suit and looked more masculine than Dean had ever seen him look. He even had the beginnings of stubble forming on his jaw. It struck Dean then; that for all his attraction to Castiel when he wore his skirts and dresses, there was no mistaking him for anything but male; and he was still attracted to him.

He swallowed, thought of Charlie, thought of Benny, as he looked at Castiel's lips. Would Cas even say yes if he asked him out? Was Cas even attracted to him? God, he was not good at this whole gay-bi-whatever he was-thing. He coughed awkwardly, "Ugh, Cas? Can I ask you a personal question?" 

Cas tilted his head slightly to the side and Dean had to fight the thought that it was fucking ridiculous and he should not find it adorable.

"What is it you wish to ask?" Castiel didn't seem opposed, just curious. 

Dean offered him a chair at the breakfast island before sitting down in one himself. They leaned over the island together and Dean asked his question, "Are you, I mean are you attracted to a certain type of guy? I mean, I know I have a type when it comes to girls; usually brunette, blue eyes, kinda tall. I was just wondering if you had a type too." 

Castiel blinked, "I don't know. I've had a few boyfriends in the past. My last boyfriend looked a bit like Balthazar actually. Only less hair gel and no accent. And then there was Samandriel; he was kind of short and cute. A bit shy; blonde, green eyes. The only other one was a guy I met in Chicago when I visited my grandfather; he was a tall, large black man named Uriel. He was kind of rough with me though, so I don't think I'd call him my type... I don't know. Blonde I guess is historically accurate." 

Dean whistled, "Wow okay. So Blonde, huh? Is it true that they have more fun?" 

Castiel chuckled, "I don't know, Dean. You're sort of blonde. what would you say?" 

Dean shook his head, "Nah, I'm not blonde. More of a dirty chestnut than blonde." 

Castiel hummed, "It depends on the light."

Dean laughed, "You've been looking at my hair in different lights?" 

"You're very pleasing to look at," Castiel stared at him with total seriousness.

Dean blushed, "Um..thanks?"

Castiel smiled, "You're welcome." 

Dean swore internally as Castiel changed topics then to something else; Dean wasn't sure what cause he wasn't listening. So, obviously Cas thought he was good looking. He outright said it. Maybe he should ask him out...It couldn't hurt right? And if he said no they could still be friends right? 

"Dean?" 

That wouldn't be awkward...he and Benny were still friends. But they had known each other longer...would Cas feel the same? Was it worth the risk? Should he-

"Dean, please stop thinking so loudly," Castiel had placed his hand over Dean's shoulder. 

Dean looked at Cas, smiling in amusement, "Sorry...what were you saying?" 

Cas chuckled, "It doesn't matter." 

Dean nodded, blushed and embarrassed. 

Cas smiled, "I better get going. I have a big photography project to work on. I'll see you on Monday, Dean." 

Dean nodded, "Yeah. See you Monday."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Progress progress, finally some progress. Next Chapter we see Dr. Mortis again! Then I'm thinking Dean FINALLY asks Cas out. So yeah, expect the Destiel to shine through the next few chapters.


	19. Depreciation

These appointments were getting repetitive. Granted he'd only had maybe four (this being the fifth) but still; there was only so much poking and prodding he was willing to take.

“Doc, can’t you just prescribe something for the phantom limbs and then let me go? You've been looking at me head for half an hour and I promise you nothing has changed,” Dean grumbled and prostrated himself even further on the uncomfortable couch. 

Dr. Mortis’ hands left his temple slowly, the second presence in his head retracting with them, “Dean; I can assure you that your mind has most definitely changed.” 

Dean huffed, “Changed how?” 

The doctor moved around from the back of the chaise to sit elegantly at his desk, a long drawn out sigh at the folly and stubbornness of children accompanying his movements. 

“Dean, whether you feel it or not, the wall in your mind is all but rubble. You have made tremendous progress these past weeks. What concerns me, is the last stubborn brick that refuses to fall. Clearly you are repressing something, something that is too deeply seated for the wall to fall completely,” Dr. Mortis’ eyes were judging and kind all at once; an oxymoron that unsettled Dean. 

“Yeah okay...so what do I do about it?” Dean sat just a little straighter in his chair. 

Dr. Mortis raised one brow, “I sense that you’ve come to terms with your attraction towards men. Is this correct?” 

Dean whined softly; the topic was still fresh and uncomfortable. He thought briefly of the day before.

::::

 

“Sammy! Stop jerking off and help carry in the groceries!” Dean yelled up the stairs as he hefted a large package of meat to the kitchen. 

Mary rolled her eyes at her eldest son, ignoring him in favour of packing cartons of fresh milk into fridge. 

Sam’s barking yelp could be heard as he bound down the stairs on four paws, shifting almost lazily by Dean’s feet. He huffed, “I wasn’t jerking off, Dean. Why would I do that in my shift?” 

Dean smirked and shrugged, “I don’t know, dog hump pillows don’t they?” 

Sam glared, “Jerk.” 

“Bitch,” it was automatic at this point and Dean forgot his mother was standing right there.

“Language. Sam go get the vegetables out of the car. Dean put the meat away before it spoils,” Mary sighed at the two of them but they obeyed. 

Dean placed the meat in their deep freezer beneath the counter. It was a luxury that not many had; most families had no need for large amounts of meat, and so no need for a place to put it all. 

It had been lamb that his mother brought home from the government regulated meat market. Almost an entire lamb in fact; ribs, loins, mutton, tongue, sausages from the guts. No part of the animal went unused, anthing inedible was used for other things. 

Dean liked lamb the best. It was the flavour he guessed, soft and tender to his pallette. His family on the other hand always seemed to prefer chicken or duck; it most likely had to do with the dog-shift’s natural prefrence for waterfowl. Dean wasn’t sure what that said about him. He liked chicken too of course, but lamb always felt like a treat to have once in a while; something to be savoured.

“Dean, you’re drooling,” Sammy laughed at him. 

Dean shook his head, realizing he had been lingering at the freezer, “I’m not drooling.” 

Sam laughed, “I like chicken and lamb as much as the next guy, but I hate to break it too you, it doesn’t love you back.” 

Dean huffed, “Yeah, yeah. Go piss on a fire hydrant or something.” 

“Dean!” his mother chided.

“Sorry. I think I’m going to go take a nap or something. I didn’t get any sleep last night,” Dean didn’t mention it was because he forgot to take his medicine while he was too busy obsessing over the fact that Cas might say yes if he asked him out. 

Mary smiled and sighed, “You get some rest then.” 

Dean nodded, heading out of the kitchen and descending into his room. There was something comforting about being underground. 

He stumbled down the stairs and threw himself onto his bed haphazardly. He sighed in contentment, burrowing into his blankets more for the feel than for actually warmth.

“God, why is it that beds are alway more comfortable when you shouldn’t be in them?” He groaned to himself. Not expecting Sam to trot down the stairs and answer him. 

“Probably because your nocturnal, so anything must feel like heaven this time of day,” Sam chuckled, crawling onto the bed beside his brother. “Push over.” 

Dean sighed, making room for his dog of a sibling to shuffle under the covers beside him, “Don’t hog the blankets.” 

Sam snorted, pulling the black covers over his small frame and burying his face in the pillow near Dean’s head, “mphmmmph.” 

Dean rolled his eyes, “I can’t hear you when your face is stuffed full of fabric, Sam.” 

Sam lifted his face a little, just enough so that he could speak, “I said, ‘I’m having girl troubles.’” 

Dean raised his eyebrow, “Girl troubles? Sam, you’re thirteen. What troubles could you possibly have?” 

Sam frowned, “My school is having a dance next week and all my friends are bringing dates. I want to ask Jess to go with me, but I’m scared she’ll say no. ?” 

God, if the kid only knew, “Yeah Sammy. I think everyone has felt like that at some point; even me.” 

Sam frowned, “But you’ve always been so good with girls.” 

Dean laughed, “Yeah, girls I’m okay with. But uh...other areas not so much.” 

Sam lifted his brow, eyes narrowing in the way that Dean knew meant his brother was thinking. Shit. 

“Sam?” 

“So you’re okay with girls...but you still get scared...with guys?” Sam looked at his brother questioningly.

Dean cursed, “Sam, it’s uh...it’s...fuck. Yeah okay, you’d have found out eventually I’m sure. I can’t keep anything from you it seems.”

Sam sat up in the bed, a big smirk on his face, “So? You’re gay then?” 

Dean furrowed his brows, “No, god no. I mean...I like girls and guys... At least, i’m pretty sure I do.” 

Sam hummed in thought, “So, bisexual then?”  
Dean blinked, “How do you even know that word?” 

Sam shrugged, “I read Dean. They teach you shit all in sex-ed, so I took out a library book.” 

Dean sighed, “Yeah okay...I’m...” 

It’s a big step. Admitting out loud to someone when you’ve hardly admitted it to yourself. 

“I’m bisexual,” Dean breathed out. 

Bricks crashed. Dean felt an overwhelming sense of dread. He was bisexual. He was bisexual. He is was bisexual, and fuck, he didn’t want to be. 

Sam smiled, “Well, glad you came out to me. I take it you haven’t told mom and dad?” 

Dean’s eyes widened, “No! And you can’t tell them Sam. You can’t tell anyone okay?” 

Sam frowned, “Dean, you know they won’t care right?” 

Dean shook his head, “Promise me Sam.” 

Sam sighed, “I promise, Dean.” 

::::: 

 

Dean sighed, “Yeah. Yeah, I kinda have.” 

Dr. Mortis nodded, “So you admit to being bisexual?” 

Dean shrugged, “Sure.” 

The doctor raised one brow, “I need to hear you say it.” 

Dean groaned, “What difference does it make? I’m bisexual okay! I’m attracted to guys, okay! Dean Winchester, homo on campus?” 

Dr. Mortis was very calm as he addressed Dean, “Dean, are you homophobic?” 

Dean’s eyes widened, “What? No. That’s ridiculous; and a bit hypocritical don’t you think?”

The doctor nodded, “Forgive me, but I’m trying to understand why the last block remains in your mind. If you have accepted what you are, you should be able to shift by now. I suspect, that you don’t like what you are.”  
Dean frowned, “I like myself okay? I’m awesome. Best ever.” 

Dr. Mortis sighed, “We both know you don’t believe that Dean.”

Dean rolled his eyes, "Look Doc, I'm fine. Great even! If you could just fix me than I could get on with my life!"

"Fix you? Dean, there is nothing to fix. Walls to be brought down, yes. But nothing to fix. You are not broken," Dr. Mortis frowned in pity at him. Dean didn't want his pity.

"Shut up! Do you think I asked for this? To be the only one I know that can't shift? To be the only one in my family with no paws to run? No tail to wag? The only one in my family who's never truly been part of the pack? Then, to top it all off, I'm bi! The icing on the cake! One more thing to make me different from the world! I've seen how my friends are treated! Everyone from the GSA always has stories about the hate they face! Fuck, even Lucifer has suffered hate crime; and he's the scariest guy I've ever met! I don't want that for myself! I don't want to give the world one more reason to stop and stare! One more reason to think I'm a freak!" Dean was shouting now. People could probably hear him in the waiting room. He didn't care. 

Dr. Mortis sighed, "That's why you can't shift Dean. How can your body accept a shift when you cannot even accept yourself?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Dean. He's still got that self-deprecation. (some things from cannon can't change.)


	20. Throw Me Down and Knock Me Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, another chapter finished! Hope you enjoy it!

Dean kicked his left leg around Dorothy’s shin, pulling back and locking his arms around her arm and shoulder as he threw them back onto the mat with a loud thunk.

“Ugh, dammit Dean! You don’t have to be so rough you know?” Dorothy groaned as she shoved him off onto the Judo mat.

He hadn’t been to the dojo in weeks since his whole identity crisis got worse; but now he just really needed to throw around with Dorothy. It was an outlet for frustration and Dean was lucky that his Judo team was lenient with his lack of recent attendance. 

Dean chuckled, “I thought you liked it rough?” 

Dorothy rolled her eyes, “Not from you, asshole.” 

Dean shrugged, still lying on his back while sweat beaded on his forehead. They had been at it about an hour now and Dean was winning 10-6. 

“You’re sloppy tonight. Normally I’d be flat on my ass with a 0-12 loss and a wounded ego,” Dean chuckled as he rolled onto his stomach and pushed himself up. 

Dorothy huffed, “It’s hard to beat a man with load of anger and no qualms about holding back.”

Dean offered her his help getting up but she pushed it away, “I’m fine. But what’s got you so worked up anyway?” 

Dean sighed, “Nothing; just random crap.”

Dorthy raised one neat eyebrow but didn’t push the subject. That’s what Dean liked about her. She didn’t care if he took out his issues on the mat; the whole feelings thing was more of a courtesy than anything. 

“Well. I’m done. You win, hot shot. Now it’s your turn to buy me a pity coffee,” She smirked happily and began undoing the black belt on her judogi.

Dean did the same, the two of them stripping to their undershirts. They had gotten dressed in the same space so many times that no delicate sensibilities were involved in the dojo. (Dean still remembers his shock the first time he saw girls and guys stripping down in the main room.)

“I’ll buy one coffee, but that’s it,” Dean sighed, digging his jeans out of his duffel and switching them for the cotton pants of his judogi. He threw his stuff into his duffel and slipped on an old metallica shirt. 

Dorothy didn’t take long to get dressed either, a pair of jeans and a white button up were thrown on with little care. Dean had never known her to be sloppy, but she was also very laidback around the dojo; the few times they met outside the building she was always impeccably dressed. 

“Ready to go?” Dean asked, throwing his duffle over his shoulders. 

Dorothy nodded, her mouth occupied with a hair tie as she twisted her hair back in a loose bun. 

As they were leaving it was around ten at night, the streets dark and the faint glow of the streetlights illuminating the path to the parking lot. 

“So you wanna go to Freddie's? It’s probably the only place open right now,” Dean opened the door to the impala and waited for Dorothy to hop in beside him. 

They pulled their seat belts on and she shrugged, “Freddie’s is fine. I would actually love some fries.” 

Dean made a weird face, “Coffee and fries? Really?” 

Dorothy rolled her eyes with a smile, “Shut up and drive. I’m hungry.” 

Dean sighed and started up the car, driving the two of them to Freddie’s diner just down the street from the Dojo. It was a bit shady, but it was 24hrs and close to where they were.

It didn’t take more than ten minutes to get there and Dorothy kicked open the door even before he had come to a full park. 

“God, have you not eaten today or something?” Dean laughed.

She growled, “I’m sorry if I’m accustomed too...faster travel.” 

Dean raised his eyebrow, “It’s not cheetah speed, but I can’t exactly go 30 over speed limit.” 

Dorothy huffed, “I suppose. Now lets eat.” 

She pulled Dean’s arm and dragged him into the empty diner with enthusiasm, sitting him down at the not-so-stainless steel bar.

The woman behind the little kitchen window sighed and pushed her way through the door to sigh even louder at them. Talk about service with a smile. “What can I get you?” 

Dorothy spoke with too much conviction for a food order, “Large fries, and an extra large coffee, two creams no sugar.” 

The woman gave no notice of recognition other than looking at Dean and raising a brow, as if to say ‘And what do you want, asshole?’

Dean narrowed his eyes at her, not really in the mood to tolerate her; Dorothy was different because she was a friend and not being extremely rude. 

“I’ll have a medium coffee, decaf, two sugars, one cream....and a slice of the pecan pie,” he pointed at the round pies stacked neatly in a round display case. They looked store bought, but hey, pie was pie. 

The woman nodded, punching numbers into the till, “12.30.”

Dean fished a twenty from his pocket and accepted the change he was given. He didn’t put a tip in the jar as the woman walked back to the kitchen. 

Dorothy sighed happily, leaning back on the stool and smiling, “Ahh, pity food. I should lose more often.” 

Dean chuckled, “Please don’t. My pockets can’t afford it. Just keep kicking my ass and buying me burgers.”

Dorothy smirked, “Sure thing.”

The woman arrived with their food and coffee and left within three seconds of setting it down. Dean was thankful she left if only so he didn’t have to look at her miserable ‘I-wish-I-was-anywhere-else’ face.

As they sat and ate their food and drank their coffee and talked about Judo, Dean was finally starting to calm down. His anger from early was beginning to disapate. He hadn’t been too happy with Dr. Mortis that morning.

It wasn’t that he disliked the doctor himself, it was more that he didn’t like what he was saying. Sure he wasn’t his own biggest fan, but he doubted the normal amount of self-loathing that any teen experienced was the cause of his shift problems. 

But then again, was there really any other conclusion to be drawn? Dean wasn’t stupid; he was in denial. 

He sighed, the thought started to make him sad now instead of angry; the white hot rage dissipating into cold embers and suffocating smoke. He poked lazily at his pie, it was suddenly all-too sweet and yet not sweet enough. 

Dorothy seemed to notice his change in demeanor and huffed angrily, “Oh for god’s sake!” 

She slapped him hard on his back and he had to place his hand on his chest to keep from choking on the pie still in his mouth. He swallowed quickly, “What the hell?” 

Dorothy growled, “You’re no fun when you’re acting like a kicked pup. What the hell is the matter with you?” 

Dean sighed, “I don’t want to talk about it.” 

Dorothy leveled a glare at him, “Well you’re going to. So spill.” 

Dean glared at her, “Fine. My stupid shift therapist says I’m not shifting because I hate myself and can’t accept being bisexual.” 

Dorothy rose her brow, “Really?” 

Dean narrowed his eyes, “Yeah? There a problem with that?” 

Dorothy shook her head, “No. Have you come out? When I was still in the closet I hated myself too. It wasn’t until I got the acceptance of my parents that I was able to like myself again.” 

Dean’s eyes softened a fraction, “You never told me you were gay. I’ve only told my brother. You never told me you were gay.”

Dorothy shrugged, “Never came up in conversation. It’s not something that defines who I am. I mean, yeah, I could be labeled a lesbian, but It’s only part of who and what I am; not all of who I am.” 

Dean frowned, “I don’t get it.” 

Dorothy sighed, “Dean, you being Bisexual doesn’t change you. You still like cars, you still play judo, you still do all the things you’ve always done. Realizing you like dick as well as vagina’s isn’t going to change the rest of you. You don’t have to introduce yourself as ‘Dean the Bisexual.’ You just have to be...well, Dean.” 

Dean thought about it for a moment, “I guess.” 

Dorothy smiled, more gentle and sympathetic now, “Try coming out to your parents and the people you love. Sometimes it takes another’s acceptance to accept yourself. It’s not the ideal, but it’s the harsh truth.” 

::::

The next day was a Monday, so Dean was already pessimistic about the day. Unfortunately pessimism wasn’t a valid excuse to stay home and skip school according to his mother.

So he sat down grumpily in his seat and waited for the rest of the students to flow into Garth’s classroom.   
Garth was scribbling in his usual too-elegant script on the blackboard. Apparently the newest topic was the dangers of sex in shift. Dean really wasn’t sure he wanted to know about that. 

He sighed, flipping his notebook open to add to his endless amount of doodles. He began forming the gentle curve of a beak, the slope of a feathered back, the tips of wings and- FUCK. He messed up the feet. They looked like someone replaced Castiel’s slight bird feet with two lumpy slingshots. 

He cursed under his breath and scribbled it out, starting over again. A beak, a back, a wing, a foot, and FUCK. He messed up the eye. Castiel’s little black pearl of an eye looked like a horrid pancake that had been left in the pan too long. 

He sweared louder this time, crossing and recrossing the second drawing until it was all but unrecognizable. He was so focused on the redraw of the scrub jay that he didn’t notice the drag of the metal chair across linoleum as the subject of his failed art sat down beside him. 

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel smiled gently and Dean looked up. 

“Hi, Cas,” he didn’t smile back at the other boy when he normally would have beamed. He just turned back to his paper and began drawing again. 

A beack, a back, a wing, a foot, an eye, and- FUCK. He messed up the tail. Castiel’s fanned tail looked like a demented stick bug. Dean groaned, throwing his pencil on the table and ripping the page from his book. He tore it in two before crumpling both bits and shoving them into his bag. He lay his head on the desk in defeat, a small whine escaping his lips.

“Dean? Are you alright?” Castiel’s hand found it’s way to his back, a tentative touch between his shoulder blades. 

Dean sighed, blinking up at Cas as he smiled calmingly, “I’m fine. I just suck at drawing, that’s all.” 

Castiel didn’t laugh at him, only nodded in understanding, as if getting so mad at a simple doodle was commonplace, “What were you drawing?” 

Dean huffed, his back shifting underneath Castiel’s hand, “I was trying to draw a scrub jay. I was trying to draw you.” 

Castiel blinked once before smiling widely, for some reason he seemed extremely happy, “You’ve only seen my shift a handful of times. Not nearly enough to commit it to memory.” 

Dean scoffed, “Says the guy with photographic memory.”   
Castiel chuckled, “I admit to my unfair advantage in that respect.” 

Dean sighed, sitting up when he heard more people coming in. Castiel’s hand didn’t leave his back like he expected it too; instead it just moved with him, coming to a rest near his hip. He didn’t say anything. 

::::::

Most of class was spent with Castiel’s hand on his back; rubbing softly and slowly and keeping Dean well and thoroughly distracted from the lesson he didn’t care about anyway. He heard Benny snicker behind him a few times but he didn’t have the nerve to confront him, afraid of Castiel removing his hand if he shifted.

Dean wasn’t stupid. He looked at Castiel half-way though the class, a brow raised in question. The bird had just grinned and winked awkwardly. It was downright adorable and should not have been as endearing as it was. 

After class Castiel’s hand moved away from Dean and he was left wishing it was still there. 

Benny slapped a hand on both their shoulders as they got up from their desks, “So, I don’t know about you two, but I’m in the mood for chilli-cheese-fries.” 

Castiel smiled, “I’ve never had them before. But I like chilli, and I like fries, so it stands to reason that I’d like a combination of the two.” 

Benny gave Cas a toothy grin, “Then chilli-cheese-fries it is! Let’s go get Red and then we can head off. Dean, you okay to drive? My car is in the shop and we can’t fit on Charlie’s bike.”

Dean nodded, “Yeah no problem. The burger joint isn’t too far anyway.” 

Benny smiled and they headed off towards Charlie’s AP Calculus classroom.

::::

They crowded into the too-small booth together, Benny and Castiel squished in on one side, and Dean and Charlie on the other. 

“God, why can’t they make these things bigger?” Charlie wiggled her butt around and pushed Dean a little farther into the wall. 

Dean huffed a bit in annoyance but didn’t say anything. 

An overly smiley waiter dropped menus down in front of them and prattled off their specials. Dean was seriously annoyed with him. No one should be that happy.  
Castiel seemed to like him though, smiling right back and laughing at some cheesy small talk about the weather. Dean hated the guy even more. 

“I’ll have the daily special, then,” Castiel smiled happily as the waiter wrote down his order with a flourish. 

“You won’t be disappointed; they don’t call it the Moaner for nothing,” then the guy actually winked. Fucking winked at Castiel. 

Dean rolled his eyes, “I’ll have whatever comes with bacon.” 

The waiter smiled at him full on and Dean wondered if he was genuinely unaware of the hate rolling off him in waves, “Well our Market burger comes with two slices of back bacon and a fried egg on top. It’s a house specialty.” 

Dean waved his hand, “Sure, whatever.” 

The guy nodded, fucking smiled, and then took Charlie and Benny’s orders. Dean growled lowly as he walked away.

Charlie smiled at him knowingly, “Getting territorial are we?” 

Dean blinked, “What?” 

Charlie smirked, “Oh come on! The total alpha-male vibe you were just giving off? Like the waiter was moving in on your turf or something!” 

Dean scrunched up his brows in thought; had it really been that noticeable?

Castiel gave him a look that said ‘yeah-it-was,’ all over. Dean blushed slightly.

Benny laughed, “It’s okay, Dean. You know I only have eyes for you!” 

Dean rolled his eyes and kicked Benny under the table, “I’m flattered, but I’ll pass this time.”

Castiel tilted his head to the side, “This time?” 

Dean looked away from Cas; not wanting to address it. Unfortunately, that was bad manners so Benny jumped in, “Dean and I made out in the woods once. It was all of two minutes and an experiment on his part. How’s that going by the way?” 

Dean sighed; now or never, “I’m Bisexual.” 

Charlie looked over at him, eyes wide and smiling, “So...this is you coming out?” 

Dean rolled his eyes and nodded, “Yeah. This is me coming out. Congratulations, you homosexual bastards.” 

Benny and Charlie laughed loudly and offered Dean congratulations while Castiel smiled quietly at Dean, almost hopeful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, dean is a little grumpy in this chapter, and hey look, it's dorothy! Not sure exactly how the next chapter is going to go down, but probably something along the lines of dean agonizing some more, and likely more Castiel :)


	21. Hell is Empty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are going to like this one ;)

Thursday night found Dean and Charlie sitting on the hood of the impala, a case of beer between them as they watched the waves wind sway the trees of the forest.

Dean sighed happily, “I love the forest. There’s something so calming about it, you know?” 

Charlie tipped her head to the side and shrugged, “Not really. I prefer rivers. I’m not just a land-shifter remember? I crave water as much as any sea-shifter.” 

Dean hummed and nodded, “Must be good to have the choice though. Land or Sea.”

Charlie took a swig of her beer and smiled, “Yeah I guess it is. Land or Sea; Privilege or struggle. It’s not really a choice for me. I’m both, but at the same time I’m neither. A hybrid of the two, and on a completely different plane at the same time.” 

Dean shrugged, “I suppose that makes sense. Though I can’t really claim to understand; I’m not an otter after all.” 

Charlie smiled, “No. You’re not.” 

Dean smiled though his limbs were growing stiff. He made a small groan as he stretched his arms above his shoulders and sprawled himself out on the hood of the car.

Charlie scooted back a bit, laying her body against the windshield, “So. Have you given any thought to coming out to your parents?” 

Dean sighed, shaking his head. When Benny had asked at the burger place he had dismissed the idea instantly. He didn’t want to admit he was scared. He was sure his mother wouldn’t care; in fact she’d be supportive. It was his father he was worried about. 

John Winchester hadn’t voiced any opinions on gay people, so Dean didn’t know where he stood. He wasn’t sure if his father was a secret homophobe that burned pride pamphlets out of spite, or if he was just a guy who couldn’t care less. If he was anything like his father he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. 

Dean let out a breath of air with a full-bodied sigh, “I don’t think I’m ready to tell my Dad. I can tell my mom maybe...but not my dad.” 

Charlie frowned slightly, “I know your dad can be a bit of a hard-ass sometimes, but he loves you. I’m sure he’d understand; and if not understand, at least tolerate it.” 

Dean shrugged, “Maybe. What about you? You going to tell Becky and Chuck?” 

Charlie shrugged in return, “I will eventually...I just don’t want to have that conversation alone. I mean, someone has to stand behind Chuck in case he faints, and then someone else has to make sure Becky’s restraints don’t come loose. It’s a tag team job.”  
Dean laughed loudly, “That’s an operation alright. You need a hand, you call me. I might not be strong enough to hold back Becky, but I can catch Chuck just fine.” 

Charlie laughed along with him, “I’d like that actually.” 

She sat up then, turning to him and leaning over, bright red curls falling around her face. She had cut her hair recently, a short bob that wasn’t quite the same as before, but still distinctly...Charlie. 

“Tell you what; you and Benny help me come out to my parents, and we’ll be there for you when you come out,” Charlie smiled. “We can set dates if that would make it easier? I know that I get shit all done unless I’m given a deadline.” 

Dean furrowed his brows. He wasn’t sure about the whole, ‘set a date’ thing; but he actually found he really wanted - hell, even needed- the support of his friends. 

He sighed, “Yeah. That’d be great.” 

Charlie grinned, “Great! We’ll have to plan it out or something. I’m not coming out in some boring way. I want like a rainbow cake or something else as equally memorable.” 

Dean snorted, “And you think your parents are the theatrical ones.” 

:::::::

As Dean made his way to Stockholm an obnoxious heckling sounded above his head. He looked to the sky to see a black and white blur heading towards him. He groaned, “Fuck. Gabriel! Don’t you fucking dare!” 

Dean threw his hands up to cover his face as the large magpie dropped out of the sky to crash into his chest, shifting as he collided with his muscles. Dean felt his back bend backwards as he struggled to hold the full weight of the boy in his arms. 

Gabriel had his legs wrapped around Dean’s waist and his arms around his neck. He laughed loudly, “Dean-o! I heard you’ve boarded the dude train! Congratulations!” 

Dean groaned, his arms straining against Gabriel’s thighs as struggled to keep his legs on solid ground. Gabriel might not look like much, but hell, the guy was built like a rock.

“Gabriel, I appreciate the thought, but get off before we both get acquainted with the pavement,” he shifted his hand to Gabriel’s knees and tried to lower him slowly. 

Gabriel hummed in disappointment before lowering his legs and letting go of Dean completely. Dean sighed with relief that he didn’t go ass up on the ground, “Don’t do that ever again. I can’t hold your bizarre weight like Benny can.” 

Gabriel shrugged, “Whatever. So you’re Bi huh? Not much of a surprise to be honest. The way you’re always making goo-goo eyes at Castiel.”

Dean ignored his taunt as Gabriel wiggled his eyebrow suggestively, “Whatever, how did you find out anyway?” 

Gabriel scoffed, “What? Like it’s hard to coax the bat into spilling his guts? Offer the guy a hand job and he’s all bark and no bite.” 

Dean furrowed his brow in disgust, “Gross. I thought Benny was with that Andrea girl, why is he accepting handjobs from someone like you?” 

Gabriel placed a hand over his heart, walking backwards towards the portable, “Ouch, you wound me, Dean-o. Didn’t Benny-Boo tell you they broke up? Like two weeks ago? Apparently he caught her doing the nasty with another bat; specifically his older brother.” 

Dean frowned, “Why didn’t he tell me?” 

“Because you were going through your own shit. You didn’t need to be bothered with my crap,” Benny had wandered up behind him in a totally cliche, caught red-handed, moment.

Dean turned to look at his friend who shrugged. He frowned, “You could have told me you broke up at least. It’s not like I was so broken as to be useless you know.” 

Benny put his hands up in defence, “Hey, you’re the one who always said ‘no-chick flick moments’. Besides, you did help me; remember when we went to Saturnalia? That was the night I found out.” 

Dean tilted his head in thought, “Huh, so that’s why you two wanted to go drinking on a school-night.” 

Gabriel scoffed, “Please, if it were legal I’d be chugging from a flask in the hallways.” 

Dean rolled his eyes and Benny chuckled, “Relax, Dean. It’s fine. I’m fine.” 

Dean sighed and shrugged, “Well, as look as you’re good, then good. But really? Him?” 

Benny laughed sheepishly, “Yeah...that uh, wasn’t exactly planned.” 

Dean raised his brow, “So are you two dating now or something?” 

Gabriel practically cackled, his voice taking on bird-like qualities in his amusement, “God, no. I’d call it mutual masturbation, or fuck buddies at most.” 

Benny looked to the sky as if he was praying to gods for mercy, “Dear lord, you’re an ass.” 

Gabriel winked seductively at Benny and Dean shivered in discomfort, “Yeah okay, enough information. Let’s go inside so I can blow the lid on this whole coming out thing and finally get that victory pie I was promised last night.” 

Benny raised his brow, “A victory pie?” 

Dean grinned, “Charlie said she’d buy me a pie if I came out to the group today.” 

Gabriel snorted, “Pie? Really, Dean? That’s all it takes to get into your knickers?” 

Dean rolled his eyes, “Shut up, you lollipop.” 

::::::

Crowley sighed in a way that made it seem as if the whole world was full of idiots and he was the only sane one, “I’m not going to bother adding structure to this meeting, as I spent all of last night drinking daiquiris and sleeping with a vixen from Topeka. I’m still, miraculously, hungover. So if any of you have ideas, go ahead and voice them.” 

Charlie jumped up excitedly, her face split into a wide grin and her hair bouncing about as she did, “Dean has an announcement!” 

Crowley raised on brow in utter disdain for the loudness of Charlie’s voice, “What did I just say?” 

Charlie grinned sheepishly, “Sorry.” 

Crowley rolled his eyes and turned his eyes lazily to Dean. He looked rather ridiculous with his face all squished up from where he leaned on his fist. 

Dean took a breath and Charlie motioned for him to stand up. He shook his head, “I can do this sitting down.” 

Charlie sighed but acquiesced, “Fine, fine. Do it your way.” 

Dean rolled his eyes before taking a quick look around the room. Everyone was looking at him. Most with smiles, some (Crowley) with disinterest.

He spoke two words, direct, unyielding, and confident (and also completely rehearsed in the bathroom mirror), “I’m Bisexual.” 

The response was immediate. Words of praise and congratulations filled the room. His friends patted him on the back, gave him hugs, it was an overwhelming flood of support and emotions that Dean wasn’t sure what to do with.  
“Dean! I’m so happy you told us! You were so shy at the beginning; I’m glad you’ve come out of your shell,” Lisa smiled warmly at him. 

“Yeah, it’s great, Dean. I’m really glad you felt you could share this with us,” Kevin smiled down at Dean from where he stood beside his chair.

“You ever need the style advice of a completely straight metrosexual, you give me a call,” Balthazar grinned.

Gabriel laughed at him, “Now we just have to get you to admit you’re a homo!” 

Balthazar rolled his eyes, “Darling; I keep telling you I’m as straight as flag pole.” 

Underneath his breath Gabriel whispered to Anna who sat behind the desk he was currently sitting on, “Straight like a cinnamon bun, more like.” 

Anna snickered, “He is rather sweet isn’t he?” 

Balthazar rolled his eyes.

Things sort of fell into place after that. An easy conversation about coming out and the origin of cinnamon buns. It was mundane, but Dean found that he wouldn’t trade it for anything. These were his friends now, and he was happy for everyone of them (even the hungover, Crowley.) 

Dean laughed along with everyone as Aaron made a joke about something or another, then looked to where Cas usually sat, wondering about the other boy’s thoughts on the crude gesture that accompanied most of Aaron’s words. To his disappointment the scrub jay was not there. 

He frowned, “Hey; where’s Cas?” 

“You’re birdy boyfriend? He wasn’t in photography; which means he’s probably sick. That boy is obsessed with the dark room, doubt he’d miss a chance to muck about with the free chemicals,” Crowley offered up lazily. 

Dean frowned, “Yeah, okay.” 

Crowley raised a brow at his put-upon face, “Don’t be so glum. Drop buy, bring him some soup, kiss his cock; he’ll be better in no time.” 

::::

Dean did bring Cas soup, but he had no intention of ‘kissing his cock’. 

Castiel hummed happily as he spooned himself a mouthful of tomato soup. Dean had given him some crackers as well which he had crumbled up and dropped in the thick, red broth. 

Dean smiled as Cas ate happily in his mess of a bed. Dean assumed it was owing to instinct that his bed looked more like a nest than anything else. An old, wrought iron bedframe with a lumpy matress and a blue and white stripped duvet complimented the absurd amount of mismatched pillows that cocooned him. Dean had noticed several other nests -ones made of twigs and mud- sat high on along a shelf in his room. 

“I take it you like the soup?” Dean smiled. 

Castiel hummed and nodded, not putting down his spoon as her smiled at Dean, “Very much. Thank you, Dean. It was rather thoughtful of you.” 

Dean shrugged, “It’s no problem; Crowley mentioned he thought you might be sick.” 

Cas nodded, spooning more of the soup into his mouth. 

Dean tapped his hand on the armrest of Castiel’s chair, an ergonomically correct office chair for his little desk in the corner. He watched Cas for a while before turning his attention towards his surroundings. 

He had been to Cas’s house only the one time, and they had spent the entirety of it in the kitchen or the living room, never even venturing upstairs. Now that he was in Cas’s room he found it to be entirely Castiel’s style. 

Besides the bed, Castiel had two other pieces of furniture; a wal-mart desk, and a deep mahogany wardrobe that looked antique and likely inherited. On top of all that there were various nick-nacks; things like snowglobes, action figures, jewelry boxes, candles, and pocket knives. There was also a startling amount of film rolls scattered about, stacked on nearly every surface. A few clothes hung on hooks and the wardrobe seemed to be slightly over-flowing with them. 

Even if with all the stuff, Castiel seemed to keep it miraculously tidy. It was probably partly owing to the sheer amount of shelf space that was a full-walled book shelf. Dean remembered Castiel saying that the entrance to his dark room was behind the shelf. 

“So how do you open the dark room?” He looked at the shelf, trying to find any groove or object that might trigger the door, but whoever crafted the house had been meticulous in their design.

Castiel looked up from his soup and grinned, “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.”

Dean furrowed his brow, “What?” 

Castiel chuckled, “It’s a line from the Tempest. The book is the lever.”  
Castiel pointed to the second last shelf to the bottom where a book that looked slightly older than the others read ‘The Tempest by William Shakespeare’, in gold inlay along the spine.

Dean sat up from the chair to inspect it, pulling the book forward and grinning stupidly when an entire section of the shelf clicked and popped out of place, “That is awesome.” 

Castiel smiled as Dean clicked the door back into place, “Yes. It is rather unique.” 

Dean smiled, noticing that Castiel had finished his soup and so he took the styrofoam bowl from him and threw it in the brown bag it had come in. He threw the bag to the side and sat down at the end of the bed by Castiel’s feet. 

“So, what do you have anyway? Nothing I can catch right?” Dean raised a brow, not actually caring in the slightest is he got sick from this visit. 

Castiel shook his head, “No, noting contagious. Just a bit of shift cramping this morning. Nothing too serious.” 

Dean nodded, “My mother has them sometimes. It’s odd for a guy to have them isn’t it? I thought it was tied into hormones?” 

Castiel shrugged, “It is and it isn’t. It’s more likely for women to get shift cramping along with their menstrual cycle, but men can get them too. It often occurs during times stress, or other emotionally extremes.” 

Dean rose his brow, “You were so stressed that you started hurting during your shift?” 

Castiel shook his head, “No; while that’s the general concept, I wasn’t stressed. I was more...overwhelmingly excited.” 

Dean laughed at that, “Of course, only you could be so happy that it would actually hurt. What were you excited about?” 

Castiel coughed lightly, a red blush creeping up across his cheeks, “I um. I was excited for you. That you had come out, I mean.” 

Dean stilled, their faces suddenly matched in their hues, “Oh. Well, I’m glad I brought you soup then...seeing as I’m the cause of...all this.” 

Castiel nodded, “Yeah. I’m glad you came too.” 

Dean simply stared at Castiel. He was pretty sure the boy would say yes if he asked him out right then and there. It wasn’t hard. He has asked out people before. So why was he hesitating? 

He swallowed, preparing to voice what he had been thinking of (if not completely consciously) since the day he met the blue-eyed boy. 

But Castiel didn’t give him a chance, “Dean?” 

Dean blinked, “Yeah Cas?” 

“I’ve been thinking...and I’ve decided that...well, now that you’ve officially come out of the closet...I was hoping you’d agree to go on a date with me?” Castiel smiled, awkwardly and full of hope. 

Dean blinked again at Castiel’s rosy, anxious face and laughed. He laughed loudly and happily, “Yeah. Yeah, Cas. I’d like that.” 

Castiel grinned goofily, slipping slightly out of his blanket and pillow nest to slid up next to Dean, “I’d like to kiss you now. If that’s alright?” 

Dean nodded, no nervousness, no hesitation, no thought; and then Castiel had one hand on Dean’s shoulder, and the other on his cheek as he leaned in. 

Dean met his lips half way, his own hand coming up to cradle Cas’s cheek as they kissed. It was a simple kiss; no tongue, no teeth; just a simple drag of lips that lasted seconds and left Dean feeling giddy as they pulled away. 

They smiled against each other’s lips and Dean laughed, “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.” 

Cas chuckled with him, “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOT WHOOT!!!! Destiel at last!!! I hope you guys are enjoying this story! There's only going to be a few chapters left (3 or 4 at most and an epilogue). So I hope you stick around!
> 
> (P.S. I'm thinking of maybe doing a sequel of Cas and Dean in college; same Au. Not sure. What do you guys think?)


	22. Star Trek is Camp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly a filler chapter, but there's still cute destiel awaiting you!

“So, explain to me again the reason you spent fifty bucks at kinkos for this?” Dean frowned at the over-the-top rainbow banner with ‘Guess who’s gay, bitches?!’ printed in big bold type.

Charlie grinned stupidly as she directed him and Benny in the placement of the banner, “It seemed like a good investment. There’s always going to be people coming out at Stockholm; I figured I could pass it on. A gay family heirloom, if you will.” 

Benny laughed, “Red, if there’s ever someone else willing to use this thing I will not only be shocked, but surprised.” 

Dean crossed his brows, “Dude, those are the exact same thing.” 

Benny shrugged, “Whatever, Chief.” 

Charlie rolled her eyes, “I don’t care what you say; this is an awesome idea. Now hurry up, I have the cake in the oven and we can’t let it burn.” 

Dean sighed, “Can’t we just slap it up here? Does it have to be perfectly symmetrical?” 

Charlie sighed, “Well, no. But this is my moment, so chop chop!” 

She grinned and Dean groaned as she commanded he adjust it three inches up and one inch down. It took ten more minutes until she was completely satisfied with her ‘Coming Out Party’ decorations. 

Benny and Dean had come over to help with the banner, balloons, streamers, confetti, and basically every other rainbow/star trek themed party supplies that Charlie had kicking around her house. 

“So no offense, but why star trek? I mean, I get the rainbows, but where do the spock napkins and Captain Kirk paper plates fit into this?” Dean fingered one of the napkins in amusement. 

Charlie shrugged, “Have you seen the original series? That shit so camp.” 

Dean shrugged, he had to concede her point. 

“So when is everyone getting here?” Benny asked as he flopped lazily onto the couch. 

Charlie had invited the members of Stockholm to her ‘Coming Out’ party. The idea was to have her parents come home to be literally surprised by the big news. Dean wasn’t sure how Chuck would fair with the onslaught of teenagers, but he wasn’t going to complain when the plan included cake. 

Charlie checked her phone for the time and smiled, “Should be about ten minutes actually. It’s a good thing Chuck had that meeting with his editor today.” 

Chuck normally worked from home, typing away in his study and only leaving for food and the relief of bodily fluids. It was a miracle and a blessing that he happened to have a meeting at all.

Charlie excused herself to ice the rainbow tiered cake and Dean flopped down on the couch beside Benny. 

Benny yawned, looking tiredly at him, “So; anything new on your end?”

Dean shrugged, a smile on his face as he thought of his visit to Castiel’s the night before, “I have a date...with Cas.” 

Benny grinned stupidly at him, “That’s great Dean! When did that happen?” 

Dean smiled, “Last night. I went over to his place with soup and he asked me out.” 

Benny’s grin turned lecherous, “So did you kiss him?” 

Dean snorted at his friends face but smiled, “Yeah, we kissed. It didn't go any further than the one time though. I left pretty soon after so he could get some rest. He said he’d be here tonight though.” 

Benny smiled, a big hand coming down to clap Dean on the back, “Good for you! I’m telling ya, those stupid goo-goo eyes of yours were starting to get creepy. Though you owe me ten bucks.” 

Dean furrowed his brow in confusion. 

Charlie arrive in the living room then, a big frosted cake with rainbow sprinkles in her hands. She smiled and placed it in the middle of the dining table they had dragged into the room. Among the cake they had scattered various bowls of chips, candies (all rainbow colored of course), and several bottles of pop next to a stack of star trek plastic cups.

“Did I hear that right from the hallway? Does Dean Winchester actually have a date with one Castiel Novak?” Charlie smirked, an absurd twinkle in her eyes. 

Dean grinned stupidly, “You bet your ass I do.” 

Charlie laughed happily, “So who made the first move?” 

Dean shrugged, “Well, I was going to ask him but he beat me to it.” 

Charlie smiled wickedly, “Ha! The pot is mine! To split four ways of course...” 

Dean narrowed his gaze at Charlie as she laughed, “Pot? What pot?” 

Benny sighed as he dug out his wallet and handed Charlie a ten, “Stockholm has been betting on which of you would make the first move. My money was riding on you. Only Charlie, Crowley, Lucifer, and Gabriel bet against you.” 

Dean frowned, “Damn. You should have told me or I would have had you place a bet for me.” 

Charlie chuckled, “Hey, that would have been tipping the favour.” 

Just as Dean was about to argue that that was the entire point, the doorbell rang. 

Charlie raced to the door to let the guests in and Dean was unsurprised to see that Gilda, Lisa, and Anna were first to arrive. The three girls had grown up together and often travelled in a group. 

Charlie grinned stupidly at her girlfriend, kissing her squarely on the lips as Lisa strolled over to them on her four paws, lounging happily on the large cushions Charlie had laid out (special cushions usually kept for four-pawed friends.) 

Anna was in human form and she followed Lisa’s lead, sitting gracefully on the loveseat across from Dean and Benny, “This is quite the set up.”

Dean nodded, “Yeah. Spent a good hour on it. The cake took longer though.”

Anna nodded with a smile.

Charlie and Gilda rejoined them in the living room and Charlie announced that Anna owed her the twenty for the pot, “Castiel asked Dean out, pay up.” 

Anna smiled at Dean, and handed Charlie her twenty bucks, “I’m happy for you Dean. But next man up so I don’t lose.” 

Dean stuck out his tongue with a smile.

Soon the others arrived as well; Dean found it utterly bizarre when Crowley trailed in through Becky’s dog door after an irate-looking kevin swished his fluffy tail in his face. 

“What’s with them?” Dean pointed to Kevin and Crowley as the savannah cat pushed his face into the red panda’s fur with a huff. 

Benny chuckled, “Oh that; apparently Crowley has been trying to get into Kevin’s pants for a while now. Every now again the guy gets desperate. You didn’t hear that from me though.” 

Dean chuckled, “Since when are you such a gossip?” 

“Must be the awesome fucking he’s been getting from your’s truly,” Gabriel swooped down onto Benny’s lap out of seemingly nowhere, his legs resting against his lap as he placed a kiss on the bat’s cheek. 

Dean groaned, “Eww, gross.” 

Gabriel laughed, “Jealous?” 

Dean scoffed, “Please; I’ve got better things going.” 

Gabriel raised his brow, “Like what exactly?” 

Charlie threw Gabriel a wad of bills with a grin, “Guess who won the pot?” 

Gabriel grinned in amusement, “Dean-o! My man! I’ve never been so happy to know such a wimp!” 

Dean scowled, “Hey! I would have asked him! He just beat me to it!” 

Gabriel chuckled, swinging off of Benny to raid the candy bowls, “Sure thing, hot-shot!” 

Dean rolled his eyes with an small, aggravated smile.

“Hello, Charlie. May I come in?” Castiel’s voice echoed back to Dean from the entrance way and he stood up immediately, a big grin on his face. 

“Hey, Cas! Come on in, the party’s just getting started!” Charlie motioned for Castiel to enter her home as Dean rounded the corner of the hallway.

Cas found him with his eyes immediately, a large smile splitting his face. Charlie left them alone in the hallway as she returned to entertaining the rest of her guests. 

Dean smiled at Castiel. He was wearing a pair of worn denim jeans and a form-fitting AC/DC shirt. He looked more masculine than he usually did with his hair ruffled and the beginnings of stubble just visible on his face. 

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel smiled widely at Dean as he hung up the leather jacket he had been holding and kicked off his black combat boots. 

Dean swallowed and nodded; Castiel looked ridiculously gorgeous today (more so than usual), “Hey, Cas.” 

Castiel chuckled as he looked down at himself, “I know; it’s not my usual style. I wanted to wear something for you though....I thought you’d appreciate it.”   
Dean nodded, “Uh huh...I’m appreciating alright.” 

Castiel smiled, “That’s good.” 

Dean gestured for Castiel to come over to him and smiled happily when the other boy reached his arms, “You look great. I mean, REALLY great. Fuck, Cas; you're always gorgeous but this is insane.” 

Castiel blushed, his hands finding their way to Dean’s shoulders, “Thank you, Dean. I’m going to kiss you now.” 

Dean chuckled, “Yeah, okay, Cas.” 

Castiel leaned into Dean and placed a gentle kiss on Dean’s lips. It was longer than the one they shared the night before; longer, and slightly deeper as Dean opened his mouth underneath Castiel’s. They didn’t risk becoming more heated in the open hallway, and it was a good thing too, as they were soon interrupted by Lucifer and Rachel flying through the window Charlie had left open for the air-shifters of the group. 

Castiel pulled away from Dean to look over at Lucifer who was smirking in amusement, “So I guess that mean’s the bet is done.” 

Rachel rolled her eyes, “No shit.” 

They passed by them in the hall and joined the others in the living room. Castiel frowned, “Pot?” 

Dean chuckled, pulling away from Castiel so he could lead them to the living room, “They were betting on which of us would make the first move. Apparently I was the favourite to win.” 

Castiel frowned, “Were we really that transparent?” 

Dean shrugged, “Guess so. Doesn’t matter to me though. I get to go on a date with a great guy, so who cares what they waste their money on?” 

Castiel blushed and smiled. 

Dean didn’t know why he ever thought this would be hard.

::::

The surprise went as expected. Chuck nearly had a heart attack and Becky practically mauled her daughter with affection. In the end all was good and the party lasted until midnight when Becky sent everyone home. It was great and Dean left happy and full of junk food.   
He and Castiel had promised to meet each other the next day for their date; a surprise that Castiel had refused to even hint at. Dean had poked and prodded at him, but let up at when the cake had been cut. 

He lumbered down to his room and crawled into bed with a happy sigh. Life was good in that moment; but as always, something still scratched in his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: The Date!!!! WHOOT!


	23. Classic Cars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so long! Life has a way of getting busy!

“Can’t you just tell me where we’re going?” Dean smiled goofily at Castiel in the passenger seat of the Impala as they drove east towards Kansas City. 

Castiel offered a smile in return, “Nope. You'll just have to be patient; take a right up here.”

Castiel gestured to the upcoming exit and Dean pulled into the semi-crowded lane. 

“Shouldn't the driver at least know the destination? And did I ever mention how bizarre it is that you and your mom don’t own a car. Even for air-shifters that’s a lot of exercise,” Dean raised a brow at the other boy.

Cas shrugged, “It can be, but my mother has always had a thing about cars. She says they’re ‘metal death traps’.” 

Dean laughed, “That’s what I think about airplanes, so I won’t fault her for that.”

Dean smiled goofily at Castiel as he drove them further down the road, only to frown when they hit a large traffic island. He groaned, “Ugh; I hate traffic. Why are there so many people anyway?” 

Castiel smiled, “I was expecting this. Just follow the crowd.”

Dean quirked his brow, “Where are we going, exactly?” 

::::

Kansas City’s third annual Classic Car Show.

Dean was ready to eulogize Castiel on the spot, “A car show? This is our first date?” 

Castiel grinned, taking Dean’s hand as they navigated their way through the parking lot, “I hope that’s acceptable?” 

Dean chuckled, “Acceptable? Cas, this is awesome.” 

:::::

Castiel paid for their tickets and then they were off. Dean lead Cas through the crowd, pointing out cars as they went. 

“That’s a 1971 Chevelle; that’s a 75 Firebird....” Dean happily held Castiel’s hand as they went through the crowd.

Castiel seemed to be enjoying himself whenever Dean looked over at him, of course he couldn't tell if it was because Dean was amusing him with his enthusiasm or if he actually liked cars as well. 

“So do you have a favourite? A favourite car I mean?” Dean smiled as Cas swung their hands lightly as they walked towards a row of GTOs. 

Castiel hummed in thought, the hand not entangled in Dean’s was fiddling with the hem of his purple sun dress, “I don’t know. I’m kind of fond of 1978 Lincoln Continental Mark V.” 

Dean snorted in laughter, “A 78’ Lincoln? Geez Leroy, didn’t realize your tastes ran so...pimpish.” 

Castiel quirked his head to the side with a smile, “I like them.” 

Dean chuckled and squeezed Cas’ hand, “Alright, wings.” 

They continued walking around the convention centre until Dean’s stomach interrupted their walk. 

“Ugh, I’m starving. There’s gotta be a food stand around here somewhere,” Dean stretched his head above the crowd. He found himself wishing they were allowed to shift in the convention centre, then Cas could fly above the crowd.

Castiel pulled a crumpled pamphlet from his pocket and flattened it out against a wall, “Here; there’s a hamburger stand near the Ford stage and a herbivore’s only stand just near it. You can get a burger and I’ll see what they have there.” 

Dean nodded, “Yeah, that sounds good.” 

They made their way toward the Ford stage where a short man that looked suspiciously like Danny Devito was trying to convince the crowd that Ford was the only way to go when buying for the family. 

Dean snorted, “Chevy is better.” 

Castiel laughed, “You’re only saying that cause you own an Impala.” 

Dean didn’t argue with that, “Okay. Let’s get our food and meet back up here okay?” 

Cas nodded, “Alright.” 

Dean watched as Cas left before turning to get his own food.

The ‘stand’ was actually more akin to a food court restaurant; a kitchen area built into the building and occupied currently by ‘The Carnivore Caravan: Burgers, Fries, and State Famous Onion Straws.’

He got in line behind a couple of burly guys complaining about the convention’s ‘no booze’ policy. 

Dean rolled his eyes as they left with several handfuls of burgers each. He stepped up to the concession stand and smiled polietly at the older woman behind the counter, “Hey there; I’ll have a bacon double cheeseburger combo, extra onion straws, a large root beer....and a pickle on the side.” 

The old woman smiled and rung through his items, “That’ll be 15.60, hun.”

Dean whistled lowly, “Wow, you must have done well with those last guys.” 

He was only a little shocked at the jacked up price but shelled out a twenty just the same.

The woman laughed, “I don’t make the prices; I’m just helping out my son this weekend.” 

Dean nodded, “I’m sure he appreciates it.” 

She nodded, pulling his order from the counter behind her as it was passed to her, “Here you go. Enjoy the burger hun.”

Dean grinned, picking up the large basket and heading over to the tables near the stage. 

“Dean? That you?” 

Dean looked over a few heads to see a familiar trucker hat, “Bobby?” 

Bobby shoved a few people out of the way as he made it over to Dean, “I thought I smelt ya. Didn't know you were coming to the convention.”

Dean blinked, “Yeah, same with you. What're you doing here? Just enjoying the cars?” 

Bobby scoffed, “Nah I’m here looking for parts. That Camero’s got a busted muffler I gotta replace.” 

Dean nodded, “I think I saw a guy selling mufflers somewhere.” 

“Dean! There you are! I thought you’d have found a table already!” 

Dean turned in time to see Cas making his way toward them with a styrofoam container in his hands, “Hey, Cas.” 

Cas must not have seen Bobby or thought he was just some random guy, cause he leaned over to Dean and placed a bird-like kiss on his cheek. Just a peck, but it left Dean blushing and horrified as Bobby raised his eyebrow.

“Who’s this Dean?” Bobby looked far too amused for Dean’s liking. 

Castiel looked up to see Dean was two shades too red, “Dean?” 

Dean swallowed, “Uh...Cas, this is Bobby; he’s more or less my second dad. Bobby, this is Cas...my uh...um...boyfriend? Friend? We’re uh...still figuring that out I guess.” 

Cas blushed, “Oh crap. Dean, I’m sorry.” 

Dean nodded slowly, “It’s okay Cas.” 

Bobby raised a brow, “Well I can’t say I’m surprised. That thing with Dr. Sexy always struck me as a little bit weird. But don’t think I’ll judge you for liking boys, Dean.” 

Dean blinked, “What?” 

Bobby rolled his eyes, “I’m not blind. Boy; so stop trying to make me out to be. This probably wasn’t how you wanted it to happen, but the proverbial cat is out of the bag.” 

Dean sighed, “Bobby...I...thanks.” 

Bobby nodded, “Alright. You haven’t told you parents yet I’m guessing?” 

Dean shook his head and was minutely aware of Castiel’s hand slipping around his waist in a comforting gesture.

Bobby grunted, “Well; I’ll be there for you if you need me. Now go and eat your food before it grows cold.” 

Bobby huffed and walked away. 

Dean narrowed his eyes in dazed confusion, “Did I just come out to Bobby?” 

Castiel sighed, “I’m sorry, Dean. I think I might have just forced you to.” 

Dean turned to Castiel, “It’s okay Cas. Let’s go eat.” 

:::::

Dean drove Castiel back home on autopilot. He knew he was going to have to come out eventually, but he and Charlie had planned to do it next week. He had thought he would tell Bobby then; get it all out at once instead of an awkward spread-out mess. Now he didn’t know how everything would pan out. He knew that Bobby wouldn’t tell his dad, but he knew that with a couple of beers in him the old dog could be a bit loose lipped; and the two men were set to go out on Wednesday night for poker and pool at the Roadhouse. 

“So, boyfriend huh?” Castiel rattled him out of his thought process. 

“What?” Dean glanced over at the air-shifter. 

“Earlier...you called me your boyfriend,” Castiel said it slowly, like he was testing shaky waters.

Dean blushed only slightly as he looked back out the windshield, “Uh yeah. I hope that wasn’t weird or anything. I mean I know we’ve only been on one date...but you know...we’ve known each other for a couple months now....and I just thought....well...you know...” 

Castiel chuckled, “It’s fine, Dean. I’d like to be your boyfriend.” 

Dean nodded, a smile stretched across his face without permission, “Yeah. Okay. Great.” 

Dean pulled into Castiel’s driveway and turned to look at him nervously, “So...uh...I’ll see you Monday then?”

Castiel nodded.

They sat there awkwardly. Normally this is where you lean over and kiss someone. That was okay to do right? They were...boyfriends now, right?

Dean opened his mouth to say something, anything to break the silence; but Castiel chuckled and stopped him. 

“Dean, you don’t have to be so nervous. If you want to kiss me, then kiss me,” Castiel gave Dean a lopsided, toothy smile. 

Dean nodded, “I do...want to kiss you.”

Castiel rose his brow, “Well, go ahead then.” 

Dean nodded and leaned in. It wasn’t their first kiss; it wasn’t their second; but somehow this first kiss was more meaningful to Dean. This was the start of something with Cas. It wasn’t just mixed feelings and idle lust...it was real; tangible in a way that Dean didn’t know a kiss could be. 

His hands cradled Castiel’s face as he pulled him up and into the kiss, moving his lips against his and simply taking what he had wanted from maybe the start of their friendship.

But despite Castiel’s penchant for feminine attire and mostly gentle demeanor, he was not about to let Dean handle his reins entirely. Castiel’s hands wrapped quickly into Dean’s hair, tugging gently to pull him off as he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. 

Dean groaned, pulling Castiel against his chest and he was never more grateful for the fact the impala had no arm-rests. 

They continued this way, biting and sucking, and mouthing at each other until a loud rapping sound on the car window startled them apart. 

Dean looked out the passenger side door to see a stern looking woman with a tight brown bun and square black glasses looking on in an eerie way. Castiel groaned and blushed immediately. 

“That’s my mom...I’ll uh, talk to you later, Dean,” Castiel placed a quick kiss on Dean’s cheek before leaving the car with a huff as his mother followed pointedly behind him. 

It was the first time Dean ever meet the woman, but he already didn’t find her that pleasant. Of course, that could have something to do with the fact that he was now hard and alone in his car. 

He almost laughed as he made his way back home.


	24. Colour Blind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys! (writer's block is a bitch.)

Wednesday came and went and Dean’s fears were unfounded. Bobby said nothing to his father; in fact, John hadn’t even said a word to Dean when he stumbled in the door, drunk as a lord. 

Now he was sitting at the table among his family, waiting for the shoe to drop; because nothing in Dean’s life seemed to be entirely this easy. 

“So, did you and Bobby have fun last night?” Dean poked and prodded at his toast and eggs, cautiously glancing towards his father. 

John hummed and looked up thoughtfully from his greasy hangover breakfast, “Yeah...yeah. Uh...Rufus cleaned me out.” 

“John! How many times have I told you not to gamble on poker night?” Mary scolded her husband.

John groaned, “It was only a hundred.”

Mary glared at her husband, “It’s still a hundred we could have put towards Dean’s schooling next year! Rather than you gambling it away on poker chips and cheap rim shots!” 

John groaned, “Mary, hun, we’ll talk about it later okay?” 

Mary scowled but let it slide for just then.

Dean averted his eyes from his mother’s simmering rage and looked over at Sam who pretended not to notice the fighting their parents did.

“Speaking of schooling; Dean, have you given any thought as to what you’d like to do?” Mary smiled thoughtfully at her son. “Applications will be due soon, and you haven’t even spoken of it.”

Dean sighed and shrugged, “I don’t know, mom. I haven’t really thought of it. I don’t really want to go to school. Maybe Bobby will take me on as an apprentice.”

Mary frowned, “Dean. You can’t expect to get anywhere in these times without at least a degree.” 

Dean groaned, “Why not? It’s not as though I’m good at anything else.” 

Mary frowned, “You’re good at plenty else. You’re brilliant at history, and english; you scored higher in your class for history.” 

Dean gave his mother a weary look, “Historians don’t make good money mom.” 

Mary frowned, “No; but curators do. You could work in a museum. You could take a basic course and choose your major later on. There are plenty of options!” 

John groaned, “It’s too early in the morning for this, Mary. Let the boy eat his breakfast before he decides on his future.” 

Mary huffed, but again, let her husband win the battle; if only to lose the war later.

Dean sighed, pushing away his toast, “Not hungry anyway. I’ll see you later.” 

His parents nodded and he left the table, bag already slung over his shoulder as he trod out the door. 

::::

“Do you guys know what you want to do next year? For college I mean?” Dean asked his friends as they sat outside in the sun of the back forty. Castiel was leaning quietly against his side.

Charlie hummed as Gilda ran a hand through her hair, head resting in her lap, “I applied at MIT for computer programming.”

Benny grinned over at her, “You’ll get in. You’re hacking skills are on the level of someone that’s like...really good at that stuff.” 

Charlie snorted, “I suppose you’ll be going into poetry? Your speech is impeccable.” 

Benny scoffed, “Screw that, I’m just going to steal my father’s yacht and pirate the west coast.” 

Dean laughed, “A Vampire Bat Pirate; a Vampirate. Very fitting.” 

Benny chuckled, “What about you, Cas? You got any plans?” 

Castiel, who had been his usual silent self, perked up at his name, “Hmm? Oh...My mother wants me to study foreign policy, but i’d rather be a photographer.” 

Dean smiled at his boyfriend, leaning against his side as they sat on his leather jacket, “Screw foreign policy; you’re a brilliant photographer Cas.” 

Castiel smiled up at Dean and places a small kiss on his lips, which Dean happily returned.

Benny cleared his throat and laughed as they pulled away, “You too are sweeter than sugar, and I’ve been with Gabriel. It’s absolutely tooth rotting.” 

 

Dean laughed, wrapping his arm around Cas, “Hey, you’re just jealous my bird is better than yours.” 

Benny rolled his eyes, “That must be it.” 

Cas chuckled, leaning away from Dean’s side to look up at him, “What about you? What do you want to do, Dean?” 

Dean blinked, “What do I want to do? I don’t know. Become a mechanic? I’m not good at much else.” 

Castiel frowned, “You’re good at history.” 

Dean sighed, “That’s what my mom said.” 

Cas smiled, “She must be a very smart woman.” 

Dean chuckled, “She’d probably like you.” 

Cast smiled, “I’d like to meet her.” 

Dean’s smile slipped slightly, “Maybe one day.” 

:::::

If anyone asked, Dean would have said it was nostalgia that lead him to rifle around in a large box he kept on the top shelf in his closet. He wasn’t likely to admit that the real motivations behind his scavenging was a search for a misplaced sense of self. 

It was bizarre for him; going through notebooks from middle school, books from freshman year, photos from childhood; bits and pieces of nothing and everything that he accumulated over the years, culminating in a loose and vaguely specific collection of exactly who he was. 

He stared at the page of a notebook not even quarter-filled; it’s pages containing doodles, school notes, and a half-scratched love note to his fifth grade teacher Mrs. Ramirez. A small plastic soldier; it’s green colour dulled over time by dust. A battered picture of a happy family in front of an old white house.

He sighed. He had come out to most people; he had a boyfriend now (and that was still surprising despite the two weeks they had now spent as an official couple); he was relatively happy. But he still hadn’t shifted. What was it that was missing? What on earth could possibly be so earth shattering in his mind that that last brick refused to break? 

Sometimes he had thought that there wasn’t a brick there; that the wall had never existed. Was a shiftless wreck and nothing would change it? 

No. He didn’t believe that. At one point maybe; but not now. He wasn’t really aware of when he had decided it. He would likely continue to be unaware of it. Unaware of the exact moment (while rummaging around in a box of sentimental items) that the last brick crumbled away. 

::::

“Dean, don’t forget to pick Sammy up from school today,” John Winchester remarked nonchalantly over his shoulder as he cut meat at the kitchen counter for the his breakfast. 

Dean yawned, “Yeah dad. I won’t.” 

John huffed in confirmation but otherwise said nothing. 

Mary had already driven Sam to school; his younger brother having had a track meet in the early hours of the morning. From there his mother had likely headed straight to work. 

It was just the two of them, in non-quite strained silence.

“How have you been Dean? You’ve barely talked to me at all the past month; did something happen that you want to talk about?” John placed a thick slice of beef into the frying pan over a pad of hot butter. 

Dean’s nose twitched as the scent of sizzling meat wafted through the air. He sniffed, rubbing the scent from his nose, “No, nothing. Since when did you talk about feelings?” 

John sighed, turning to give his son a forlorn look, “Don’t get all defensive...it was your mother’s idea anyway.” 

“Ah,” Dean leaned back in his chair at the kitchen island, “Well, I’m fine. Great even!”

John rose a brow, “Sure. I’ll pretend I believe you.”

Dean nodded, “Glad we’re in agreement.” 

John rolled his eyes, turning back to his beef to flip it gently onto burnt butter. The smell was stronger than before, the juices of the meat swirling loudly in the pan. 

Dean winced at the noise, “Does everything seem....more, to you?” 

John blinked, though Dean couldn’t see it, he felt it in the air; a minute brush of fine hair against the flesh of his father’s cheek. 

“What do you mean by more?” John’s voice was like a jack-hammer. Too loud, and too clear.

Dean clutched his head, “God, no need to yell!” 

John turned to his son, “I’m not yelling. Dean are you okay?” 

Loud. Too loud. 

Dean scratched his hands over his ears, “Ugh! Shut up.” 

A pain burst behind his eyelids, clawing into his retinas and stretching them out, wider and shorter. Everything was blues and greys and whites; the red of his father’s shirt blurred in a way that he didn’t understand. 

“Dad...I think i’m going colour blind...I...” another pain flared in his mouth, his teeth were stretching, changing. 

Dean slammed his hands on the kitchen island in pain, “Gahh!” 

“Dean! Dean! Calm down! You’re shifting! Let it happen!” His father was at his side quickly, slinging an arm around his waist and hauling him from his chair.

He panted harshly, leaning against John as he felt his legs began to crumple beneath him, “I don’t think I can walk, Dad.” 

John nodded, “I know, son. Just hold on, alright?” 

Loud. Too loud. 

Dean nodded, letting his father lift him into his arms and carry him through the patio door in the kitchen and out into the yard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bet you didn't expect that!


	25. Reynard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE WAIT IS OVER MY LOVELY READERS.

Everything was a blur; a hot mess of colours and shapes as his vision faded from red to grey to nothing. It was not dissimilar to the sensation one experiences while fainting. Mind you, Dean had only ever fainted one other time; a curious incident involving dehydration that never reoccurred in his so far short life. 

The world had seemed to tilt on it’s axis as John lowered him onto the grey expanse of grass before his eyes. He felt the twist and crack of bone as his arms and legs shortened and his tailbone punctured straight through his skin. 

He had screamed. 

::::

When he woke, he was unsure of whether it had been days or mere seconds of time lost. He blinked his eyes open slowly, seeing the world for the first time in a way he hadn't before. Everything was a series of greys, greens, blues, and yellows, and somehow it didn’t seem unnatural; like it was just another part of his life experiences. 

And everything seemed louder. Louder, but not wholly unbearable. The wind’s whistle turning into a choir; the breeze in the grass now a symphony in his ears.

‘Dean? Dean, are you okay son?’ His father’s voice range through his mind; a whisper in his mind. 

He lifted his head slowly, the end of a gray snout visible in his line of sight. It took a few seconds for him to realize that it was his. He huffed a small whine from his throat; not a new sound, but a new throat, strange and more pronounced coming from this smaller body. 

‘Dad?’ he called it out in his mind, eyes darting about in search of his father. 

‘Dean, I’m here son,’ Dean belatedly noticed the large paws of his father in front of him. 

It wasn’t until he felt John’s muzzle underneath his snout that everything seemed to crash back into place. 

‘I shifted? Holy shit,’ Dean let his father help him up onto shaky paws. 

‘Congratulations, Son,’ John’s jowls didn’t move as he kept close to his son. 

Dean blinked his eyes slowly as he looked down at his feet; he expected to feel phantom arms holding him aloft and was surprised to feel only paws. 

‘What...Dad, what am I? What’s my shift, I mean?’ Dean looked up at the towering dog that was his father’s shift. 

‘Come see for yourself,’ John’s voice held pride in it as he continued to keep him upright. 

He lead them slowly to the open patio door, Dean still shaky on new paws. He could feel a long, furred tail at his backside, and swished it experimentally. It was all surreal. 

John steadied him with his muzzle as they crossed the threshold and made their way slowly to the floor-length mirror in the hallway of their home. 

Dean blinked in surprise at what he saw in the mirror. Beside the familiar image of John Winchester stood an animal with a short snout, triangular ears, and green slitted eyes. 

A fox stared back at him in the mirror, grey, and white of face, with a colour he couldn’t quite make out with his fox eyes. Obviously he couldn’t register the colours properly in this form.

He felt the urge to smile and instead the lips of his jowls twitched in what looked like a snarl. He huffed in amusement.

He could hardly believe it. He had never guessed that this might be his shift, but now that he knew it was, nothing else could have made more sense.

He let out a happy yip, turning to John with excitement, ‘I’m a fox!’ 

John chuckled in his mind, ‘A red fox, it looks like. You’ll have to call your mother after you shift back.’

Dean nodded his small fox head, ‘Of course! But I’ve waited years for this. No way am I shifting back now!’ 

John huffed, ‘I know you’re excited, Dean; but you have to take this slowly. It takes a few shifts to get a hang of things, and you’re such a late bloomer that I don’t want anything to go wrong. We’ll shift back now and then you can try shifting again later, alright?’

Dean huffed, but nodded. 

John huffed as well in affirmation, before a swirling mass of red sand replaces his body with his human form. 

“Wait here while I go get you some clothes. I had to take your others off when they didn’t dissolve with your shift. Try and change back if you can,” John patted his head affectionately, his large hand brushing over both of his ears as he left the hallway.

Dean looked around, his legs less shaky with time. He tried to bring to the forefront of his mind all the lessons on shifting he had been given in class. In his mind he conjured the image of his human form, standing where he was now. 

It took only a minute and a half for his bones to crack and shift in a swirl of amber liquid. He collapsed against the wall and drew in a sharp breathe. 

“Shit, that’s going to take some getting used to,” He leaned his face against his naked arms on the wall, holding himself up on shaky legs. 

John returned shortly and handed him a shirt and a pair of boxers which he helped him step into. If he wasn’t so exhausted he might have felt embarrassed by how much he need his father in that moment. 

“Let’s get you downstairs. You can take the day off to recoup. It might take a day or two for your body to adjust. Your mom took three when she shifted,” John let Dean lean against him as they walked down the stairs to his room. 

“Get some sleep,” John helped him into bed and he sighed. 

“Thanks, Dad,” Dean yawned, everything seemed to take it’s toll. In the span of ten minutes he had gone from shiftless wonder to a fox-shifter and his body was screaming with small aches. 

“No problem,” his father left him.

It took no time at all for Dean to fall into a deep, dreamless sleep. 

::::

The ringing sound of his phone is what woke him up at noon. He groaned, scrambling tiredly for his phone on the side table, answering it quickly without even a glance at the caller.

“Hello?” He answered sleepily.

“Dean? You weren’t in class this morning; are you sick? Do you want me to bring you some soup?” Charlie’s voice called through his phones shitty speakers and his sleep fogged mind.

“What? No I’m not sick...I uh,” He smiled goofily to himself, “I shifted actually. I stayed home to sleep off the aches. I’m doing better now though.” 

“Oh MY GOD! You shifted? Dean, that’s amazing! I’m buying a pie and dragging everyone over to celebrate after school! I’m so happy for you! What are you! No, wait! Don’t tell me! You can surprise us all after school!” Charlie was going a mile a minute. 

Dean laughed, “Charlie! Calm down!” 

Charlie laughed loudly, “No way! Wait...no...” 

Charlie started talking to someone else and Dean waited patiently. 

“You’re boyfriend wants to talk to you,” Dean could practically see the eye roll she was giving Cas.

He laughed and smiled, “Put him on then.” 

There was a shuffling noise as the phone was handed of and Castiel’s voice rang through, “Dean?” 

Dean smiled happily, “Hey, Cas.” 

“Dean, I’m so happy for you. How are you doing?” Cas’s smile was present even over the phone. 

Dean sighed happily, “I’m good, Cas. A little sore; but a good sore.” 

“Do you want me to keep Charlie from inviting all of Stockholm over to your place? She looks like a woman on a mission,” Cas sounded highly amused. 

Dean chuckled, “If you don’t mind. I’d still love if you three came over though; I have to warn you though, if that pie I was promised doesn’t come as well I’m kicking you all out.” 

Cas chuckled, “Even me?” 

Dean grinned, “No, you’re cool.” 

“Good. I’d hate for you to miss out on your present,” Castiel’s words surprised him. 

“Present? What present?” Dean squinted his brows together in thought. 

“Well; you told me you only had the one brick left in your mental wall so I decided to get you a gift...for when you finally shifted you know?” Cas’s voice was quite; conspiratorial. 

Dean smiled, “You didn’t have to get me anything, Cas.” 

The bird chuckled, “Trust me; you’ll like this one.” 

Dean smiled, “We’ll see then, won’t we? I’ll talk to you later okay? I’m still kinds tired.” 

“Alright, Dean. Sleep well,” Castiel said sweetly. 

Dean nodded, “Bye, Cas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If Fox is your Animal Totem:
> 
> You are intensely loyal. Often you are a joy to watch or to be around. You are energetic, outgoing, personable, and very flattering. While not exactly social butterflies fox people can use that sly energy, their keen sense of camouflage to “fit right in”. You are also a keen observer and skilled at remaining unnoticed. This means that you blend into your environment and move around unnoticed in any kind of company or society.
> 
> You adapt and portray yourself as whoever you need to be in a given interaction. This affinity for fitting in often means you are a jack of all trades, taking interest and educating yourself superficially in great number of areas while mastering none. This allows you to chat or small talk with ease whenever you care to. This does not mean you are disingenuous. It simply means that you really do care and take an active interest in the feelings of those around you.
> 
> You are also a very creative problem solver and can seem eccentric because they are quick to think outside the box. Quick thinking or wit is definitely common tool for you.
> 
> (I chose a fox as Dean's shift because of the rich historical and mythological presence the fox has. They are nocturnal animals that keep small family groups of up to three or four adults; they are most active at night due to being nocturnal; they are a close relative of domestic dog breeds but not quite [ I wanted dean to fit in with his family, but still be somewhat on the outside]. And despite the vast amount of stories where the fox is good and kind, there are also many where he is portrayed as a trickster, or a villain; an ode to Dean's darker side as well [in the canon universe of SPN, Dean often devices others by giving false names, lying to his brother, Cas, and others.]


	26. Not all that Glitters is Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reactions!

Sam ended up having to walk home; his brother was supposed to pick him up from school but never showed.

“You sure you don’t want my mom to give you a ride, Sam?” Jess asked sweetly.

Sam nodded, “I’ll be fine; thanks though.” 

He spent the walk home thinking of how mad he was at Dean for not being there. It wasn’t until he saw a fox sitting on the porch that he forgot about it. 

He had never seen this fox-shifter before; he didn’t recognize him. He hastily put down his bag and shifted so that he would be able to communicate. 

With a huff he trotted over to the fox, ‘Hello, Sir. Are you looking for someone?’

A familiar rumbling chuckle called out across his mind, ‘I’m a sir now, am I?’ 

Sam blinked, sniffing the air and catching the scent of his brother buried beneath the scent of fur and wood, ‘Dean?’ 

The fox bared it’s teeth in a disturbing attempt at a smile, ‘Hell yeah, it is!’ 

Sam let a broad smile stretch across his mind, a telepathic buzz of emotion. He barked happily, ‘Dean! You shifted! That’s great!’

He ran up the small steps and knocked his body into his brother’s, nuzzling his face into the thick coat.

Dean laughed, ‘You’d think I’d just returned from war.’ 

Dean was trying to play down his own excitement but Sam was not easily fooled by his tough guy facade, ‘I’m happy for you! And you’re a fox! That’s almost a dog! We can do pack stuff now! Like go hunting together, and play in the yard, and all that other stuff.’ 

Dean chuckled, ‘We did all that stuff before.’ 

Sam huffed, rubbing his fur against his brother’s, ‘Yeah, but you were always human; now we’ll be on the same level.’

Dean hummed in his mind; It was amazing how many emotions one could project through telepathy (Sam was surprised his brother had picked it up so naturally).

‘You didn’t happen to see a hoard of excited teenagers on you’re way here did you?’ Dean asked. 

Sam squinted his mind’s eye in confusion, ‘No; why?’  
Dean chuckled, ‘Because I doubt Cas can keep Charlie from arriving with a parade.’ 

:::::

Dean was right of course. When he and his brother were sitting on the couch in their human forms eating straight from a tub of ice cream an hour later, Charlie burst into the house with a trail of people behind her. 

“DEAN! CONGRATS!” Charlie pronounced happily as everyone piled into the living room.

Dean groaned, “Ugh, Charlie!” 

“Oh, quit your groaning, squirrel. We brought pie and beer,” Crowley pushed Dean and his brother over to lounge on the couch next to Sam. 

Sam squinted his bros up at him. Crowley raised a bro, “Cat got you’re tongue?”

Sam growled lowly, but said nothing else. 

Castiel found him next, sitting on the arm of the sofa next to Dean, “I tried to keep it small, but Charlie can be very....persistent.” 

Dean chuckled, “Hey, man; kudos for effort.”

“ALRIGHT BITCHES, LISTEN UP,” Charlie yelled loudly, and everyone winced. “DEAN HERE IS GOING TO SHIFT FOR US, THEN WE ARE GOING TO PARTY!”

A loud round of cheers erupted from everyone present. Benny and Gabriel noticeably cheering the loudest from their spot on the recliner.

Dean laughed, “Alright, alright! Shut up before you break my ear drums!”

Dean handed his ice cream spoon to Sam before standing up and walking to the general middle of the room. With a deep breath he let the change overcome him. He had only done it one other time voluntarily, but somehow it all came to him as simply as breathing. 

Bright amber liquid dissolved his body into a fox and the reaction was instantaneous. Cheers erupted and Dean was surprised to see his friends shifting in front of him. 

‘Dean! I’m so happy for you!’ Lisa’s big paw patted his head in a motherly way. 

‘You always were a foxy-lady weren’t you? Ha!’ Gabriel landed on his collar bone and tittered away in his ear. 

‘Don’t think you can upstage me for best red animal though; panda trumps fox,’ Kevin joked.

Everyone said nice things (except Lucifer, who instead perched on the arm rest near Sam and stared at him intently; damn vulture.) It was an overwhelming happiness. 

Castiel didn’t shift as he picked Dean up out of the pile of noisy animals and deposited him on his lap, “Dean...you’re beautiful.” 

Dean probably would have been blushing if it were possible in that form. He heard a collective telepathic shuffle as his friends began shifting back into human form and start the usual conversations. He didn’t bother to look at them though. 

Castiel raised a hand to Dean’s head and stroked softly behind his ears. He rumbled happily. 

“If you shift back, I’ll give you my gift,” Cas grinned, his other hand reaching to the pocket on his vest; he was surprisingly dressed-up today.

Dean stretched his limbs before shifting seamlessly back into a human sitting in a rather awkward position on top of his boyfriend. He should have shifted on the floor, as now he was straddling Castiel in a room of people. 

“Yeah, Winchester! GET SOME!” Gabriel whooped loudly. 

The room chuckled as Dean slid off Castiel and onto the couch. He couched embarrassed, “Uh...sorry.” 

Castiel grinned, “You don’t have to apologize.” 

Castiel pulled something small and wrapped in tin foil from his pocket and placed it in his hand, “Here, open it.” 

Dean raised his brow and peeled back the metallic parchment, “A film canister? You’re giving me a film canister?” 

Castiel laughed, “Look inside the canister.” 

Dean pried the lid from the canister and shook out a handful of small shiny beads, one thimble, and a button, “Cas, you’re gonna have to explain this, cause I don’t understand.” 

Cas smiled , “They’re ugh, things I collected for you. I thought you’d like them.” 

Gabriel was apparently NOT done with eavesdropping, as he leaned over both of them to get a look at the shiny objects in Dean’s hand, “Wow; that is sickeningly sweet Cas. I can’t believe you’re sharing your treasure hoard.” 

Dean squinted, “Hoard?” 

Gabriel laughed while Castiel blushed and glared at him, “Us corvids have a penchant for shiny things; we’re more less as close to a dragon as you’ll get. I’ve never known a crow or jay to give up a single piece of their hoard unless they were ass over tits in love.”

Gabriel kept laughing as he walked away to rejoin Benny, who was currently handing out the beers.

Dean looked down at the objects in his hand, poured them into the canister and capped it before turning to Cas. 

“Dean?” 

Dean smiled, “Thanks.”

He reached up to Castiel’s head and dragged him down into a kiss. Castiel froze for two seconds in surprise before sighing happily, returning the kiss with a slow pressure before pulling away. 

Dean smiled, “It means a lot to me.” 

Cas smiled, “I’m glad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Only two chapters left after this! (Conclusion and Epilogue)
> 
> (There likely won't be any explicit material regarding Cas and Dean in the main story, but I may write a companion sequel of four or five chapters of their time in College.)


	27. Loose Ends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're coming quickly to the end! Thanks for sticking around so long!

Dean pushed the sausages around on his plate. His mind had been whirling around violently since Friday. He had finally shifted but now he didn’t know what came next. What was he supposed to do with his life? He’d spent the past five years trying to figure out why he hadn’t shifted and now that he had what left was there to figure out?

He didn’t even have to see Dr. Mortis anymore. His appointments having been successful there was no reason to visit. He had spent the weekend lazing about the house and playing in the yard with his brother. The world seemed all at once brand new through the eyes of a fox. 

“Dean? Honey, are you okay?” Mary put a comforting hand on her son’s shoulder. 

Dean sighed, “Yeah, just thinking about stuff.”

Mary smiled, “What kind of stuff?” 

Dean shrugged, placing his fork on the island and leaning back in his chair, “You know...what I’m supposed to do with my life? Why is the sky blue? The big stuff.”

Mary nodded, “I understand. I still think you should try history to be honest. You always seemed to enjoy it. Why don’t you talk to one of your teacher’s about it? Or your guidance counselor? That’s what they’re there for after all.” 

Dean sighed, “Sure, why not?” 

::::

Dean was making his way to Garth’s classroom when Charlie and Benny came swooping down out of nowhere. 

“Jesus! Don’t do that! It’s unnatural!” Dean scowled.

Benny chuckled, “Those new senses of yours haven’t quite kicked in then? You’d think a fox would have keener ears.” 

Dean rolled his eyes, “So, what’s up?” 

Charlie grinned, “Today is the day!” 

Dean blanched, stopping mid stride in the hall, “It’s Monday.” 

Charlie nodded, “Yeah; the day we set to tell your folks you like dick.” 

Dean scrunched up his brow, “You don’t have to be so crass about it.” 

Charlie shrugged, “It’s in my nature. So are we doing this or what?”  
Dean sighed; better to rip it off like a band aid, “Yeah. Come over around seven. That’s when my dad gets home.” 

They both nodded. Benny smiled at him warmly, “Don’t worry brother; I’d be surprised if they didn’t already know to be honest.”

Dean scoffed, “Please; my father has all the social tact of a bull in a china shop.” 

::::

“Dean! To what do I owe the pleasure?” Garth smiled stupidly from his desk. 

Dean grinned, “Hey, Garth. I wanted to talk to you about some...options for school next year.” 

Garth smiled and waved him over, “Of course! Come right over!” 

He gestured to the chair in front of his desk and Dean took his seat gratefully.

“What are your thoughts?” Garth pulled a large folder from his desk as he talked.

Dean scratched the back of his neck in thought, “I don’t really know what I want to do, actually. My mom thinks I should go into history. My dad...well, I don’t think he cares what I do as long as I do something. To be perfectly honest I don’t have any real desire to go to college. I’d rather just keep working at the auto-shop. I like working with my hands and I’m good at it. I don’t see why I need to go to school for it.” 

Garth hummed thoughtfully and shuffled through the folder, “Are you open to suggestions?” 

Dean shrugged, “Sure; shoot.”

Garth smiled and plucked a pamphlet out of the stack of colorful papers in the folder. He handed it to Dean, “This is a brochure for the University of Illinois in Chicago. They have an excellent engineering program that I think might interest you. It’s working with machines like you enjoy, but at a high enough level to please your parents. You already have most prerequisites for the course, except for the advanced functions mathematics which I know you’re already taking next term. I think it’s a viable option.” 

Dean nodded, flipping through the brochure and admiring the colorful pictures of the campus, “It looks nice. But there aren’t any woods; I might go mad within a month.” 

Garth frowned, “Woods? I understand the city can be a little stuffy, but it’s not all that bad. Besides, until you get your shift, I’m sure you’ll be able to handle the concrete jungle just fine.” 

Dean laughed, “That reminds me..” 

He smiled, shifting quickly on the chair and giving Garth the most shocking moment of his day. 

Garth blinked before clapping happily and laughing, “Congratulations! That’s wonderful, Dean!” 

Dean shifted back and grinned, “Thanks! First time was a pain, but the rest of the shifts have been pretty good.” 

Garth grinned, “Well, I’m glad for you. You keep that brochure and think on it. I think it would be a good option for you. And if not Chicago, there are many other schools offering similar courses.” 

Dean nodded, “Thanks, Garth.” 

::::::

Dean and Cas sat alone at lunch, curled up under a tree near the back of the school. 

Castiel smiled happily as Dean ran a hand through his unruly hair, “That feels nice.” 

Dean smiled, “Yeah? I’m glad.” 

Cas hummed in content, “I don’t think I every want to stop this.” 

Dean rose a brow, “Stop what?” 

Castiel waved a hand in the air, gesturing to everything around them, “This. You. I don’t want to stop being with you. Is that too forward?” 

Dean smiled, “Nah. I’m irresistible; you would have cracked eventually.” 

Cas laughed and smacked him on the arm, “You ass.” 

Dean chuckled, “Me either. I don’t want it to stop either. Whatever it is; it’s good. I like you, Cas. A lot.”

Cas smiled and sat up to pull Dean into a slow kiss. When they broke away he sighed, “We’ll be separated next year though; I don’t know what your plans are, but I just accepted admission to Columbia for Photography. It’s one of the top programs in the Country, so my mom is reluctantly on board with it.” 

Dean beamed, “That’s great, Cas! I’m so proud of you! Like I said, you’re a great photographer. That series you did on homelessness in Kansas City nearly made me weep.” 

Castiel smiled, “Thanks Dean; but we’ll still be separated...unless for some reason you’ve decided to move to Chicago.” 

Dean hummed, “Actually...there’s this program at the University of Illinois. I’m...I think I’ll apply.” 

Castiel grinned, “I hope you get in.”

Dean nodded, “Me too. Oh, and one more thing...”

Cas smiled, “Yes?” 

“Will you be there when I come out to my parents?” 

:::::

He sat his parents down after dinner as soon as his friends (and new boyfriend) arrived.

“Dean? What’s all this about?” John and Mary looked nervous as their son struggled to form words. 

Charlie, Benny, Sam and Cas stood a short distance behind him as he paced quickly, trying to gather the courage he was sure was buried in him somewhere. 

“Better to do it quickly, Brother,” Benny’s arm reached out to stop Dean’s pacing, but failed. 

Sam walked up to his brother, twisting his finger’s into Dean’s shaking hands, “It’s okay, Dean.” 

Dean took a shaky breathe, nodding at Sam’s comforting smile. He turned to his parents sitting on the couch and with a deep breath let it out, “I’m Bi. That is, I like guys. I mean I still like girls...but I uh...I like guys also.” 

Mary breathed a sigh of relief, “Oh thank god; I thought you were going to tell me you knocked some poor girl up or something!” 

Dean gaped like a fish, “Mom!” 

Mary sighed , “Well what was I to think? You being all dramatic and what not! Honey, you know we love you no matter what, right?” 

John nodded, “Your mother’s right Dean.” 

Dean looked at his father, a little shocked he was okay with it all, “You don’t mind?” 

John sighed and shrugged, “I had a suspicion. I don’t really like the idea of my son being a flaming gay; but if you like girls too, I suppose that evens it out.” 

Dean sighed; he’d take what he could get, “Thanks, Dad.” 

John sighed and nodded, “Uh huh.” 

Mary smiled happily, standing up to hug her son. Sam letting go of his hand before he was caught in the affectionate mauling, “Thank you for telling us, sweetheart.” 

Dean nodded, smiling as she pulled away, “There’s uh, one other thing.” 

Mary rose her brow, “Oh?” 

Dean smiled, turning around to bring Castiel forward; the poor bird shuffling awkwardly in his worn sneakers and traditionally masculine clothing (a suggestion on Dean’s part, so as not to shock his father too much in one night.)

He grinned, slinking his arm around Cas’ waist, “You’ve met, Cas before.” 

Mary nodded, “We’ve seen him a few times.” 

Dean sighed, “Well, he’s my boyfriend now.” 

Mary grinned widely, “Boyfriend? I thought you two looked rather close!”

Castiel blushed, “Um; I’m not sure what to say here?” 

Charlie laughed from behind them and slung an arm around both their shoulders, “Say nothing and smile! I brought victory pie!” 

John laughed loudly, “Good, woman!” 

He stood up from the couch and headed to the kitchen, likely just as eager to leave the conversation as he was for the celebratory pecan pie that Charlie had purchased.

Dean smiled, “Well, then. Pie it is!” 

The group of them shared in laughter as they made their way towards the kitchen.

:::::::

Pie finished, and awkward conversations over, Dean said goodbye to Cas on the porch, “Thanks for being here, Cas. I know it was a little awkward.”   
Castiel smiled, “Don’t worry, Dean. It was fine.” He laughed lightly, “It was much less awkward than my coming out. My mom caught me with my pants around my ankles and the school’s basketball captain on his knees.” 

Dean laughed, “Yeah, that trumps mine for sure.” 

Castiel smiled, “I’ll see you later Dean.”

Dean nodded, “See you later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go! (I will be writing a short sequel; maybe ten or so chapters. It'll focus more on their relationship and be more from Castiel's perspective than Dean's.)


	28. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are Awesome.

Dean heaved a deep breathe as he and his father loaded his couch into the back of the U-Haul truck. He was finally headed to university; a place he wasn’t sure he’d make it too. He had spent the past couple of months scrounging up the courses it would take to follow Cas to Chicago.

“Why do you need a couch Dean? You’re moving into a studio apartment, not a three bedroom,” John huffed. 

Dean laughed as he helped to set it down, “Hey, I need somewhere for my guests to sleep. Besides; I bought it.” 

The couch was nothing special; just a garishly plaid love seat he had bought off of Rufus for fifty bucks and a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue.

John huffed, setting down his end as well, “Still. That thing must have rocks for feet, it’s so heavy.”

Dean laughed, “You’re just getting old.” 

Dean hopped out of the truck to grab a box from Sam as he, Cas, and his mother formed and assembly line, “Thanks, Samsquatch.” 

Sam stuck out his tognue in silence; he had been rather moody since finding out his brother was leaving home for higher learning. 

Dean shook his head; the kid would come around. 

:::

After everything was packed in the truck Dean and Cas sat down on the grass for a drink; homemade lemonade from Jo and Ellen as a leaving town gift for Dean.

Castiel smiled around the lip of the his glass, “This is great.” 

Dean nodded, “Yeah, Ellen makes the best lemonade. It’s a shame she and Jo ran off before the real work began.”

Castiel chuckled, “I’m sure they had to get back to their restaurant.” 

Dean shrugged, “I guess so.” 

They sipped their drinks in a comfortable silence on the front lawn. It was one of the man things Dean liked about Cas; just being able to sit together in silence. He was always happy in his company. 

“So are you excited? To have your own apartment, I mean?” Castiel smiled and leaned against Dean’s side. 

Dean nodded his head, “Yeah. I’m looking forward to making my own rules and eating popcorn at three am without waking anyone up.”

Castiel laughed, “That sounds promising.” 

He kissed Dean’s neck softly and smiled, “You’ll have to promise to let me escape from the dorm rooms when I need to.” 

Dean laughed, “What? Balthazar not looking like such a good idea after all?” 

It had been a surprise to everyone when Balthazar and Castiel decided to ‘shack up’. The barn owl shifter had gotten into Columbia for Journalism and suggested that he would be the perfect roommate on account of being ‘completely hetero’. 

Castiel sighed and laughed, “Balthazar is fine, but his company doesn’t even begin to compare to yours.” 

Dean smiled, “That’s good to know.” 

He pulled Castiel closer and kissed him lightly. It was a quick and simple kiss they had shared countless times these past months. Simple was really the only way they seemed to kiss most days. Since the night they had been caught making out in Dean’s car, there had only been a few times that they had gotten more...passionate, in their encounters. 

To be honest, it didn’t bother Dean too much. Despite a wealth of experiences with girls, his only sexual experience with men had been Micheal (and that hadn’t turned out the way he had hoped.) There would always be time later for them to further their relationship; after all, they were off to college and Dean was going to have a place that was very much his own. 

He pulled away from Cas’ lips with a grin, “You’re awesome, Cas.” 

Castiel laughed, “Okie Dokie, Dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOO! It's all done!!!! Look for the sequel soon!


End file.
